<p>Am I the only parent out there that worries about the excessive partying going on in college. To my husband and I, the college experience is gaining independence, networking, joining clubs and different social activities and trying to get a good education to get ahead in life.
Now, I am not a total moron and know that some partying will always go on. But I think it has gotten way out of hand. We feel in the minority when we talk to other parents. We have not saved over the years for the partying experience, but education. Anyone out there also worry about this. My first child succumbed to it and we let it go on too long. We did them no favors. We are going to keep a closer eye on this c hild.</p>
<p>You’re hardly alone. The partying thing has gone out of control. Did you see the news article about what went on at UW-Madison block party a few weeks ago? It got so bad they had to call the cops in! With the cost of college these days, it’s more important than every for parents to sit their children down and lay them some ground rules. If kids don’t want to toe the line, if they want “the college experience”, then they can have that… without any of Mommy and Daddy’s money.</p>
<p>One idea that I might recommend is making the child commute to a nearby state school. Those tend to have the most raucous, rowdy and dangerous parties, with the most developed drug scene. However, because of this they are cheaper than private schools. In that situation, you can monitor the child’s maturity level for much less cost and if he can handle it without going to any parties then you can support transferring to the school of choice. </p>
<p>Alternatively, you can pull the plug on the college thing wherever they go. It’s your money, not theirs, and if they want it then they have to buckle down and get to work instead of getting involved with attractive nuisances like drugs and partying. They can move to the Playboy Mansion once they actually get their own jobs.</p>
<p>At the University of Virginia, the drinking and partying got so far out of control that drunk students began firing pistols and when the chairman of the faculty attempted to intervene, he was shot to death! What has happened to our young people and what is going on at our universities???</p>
<p>Oh, by the way, the drunken shooting was in 1840. :)</p>
<p>sons of planters didn’t need to study too seriously :)</p>
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<p>State schools are cheaper than private schools because they have the most raucous, rowdy, and dangerous parties?</p>
<p>Sorry, that was poorly written. I should have said that, because they are cheaper, they are more likely to attract the kinds of people who engage in those activities. That’s not to say that all or most of the students are bad apples, but there is always that tiny minority that seems to go to college to screw around and peddle drugs and since the college is cheaper their parents are more able to sustain the costs of a 5th year once they inevitably fail to graduate.</p>
<p>Do NOT consider being a commuter to avoid problems. That should be the last resort for attending college and only for financial reasons. Do consider the “pulling the plug” on spending your money on college if academic standards are not met. Students find out about academic trouble in time to pull up grades so a semester may not be a disaster even if grades are not as expected. The saying for UW is “study hard, party hard”- all students need to do the studying, not all do the hard partying. School reputations can be overblown, such as the UW one.</p>
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I don’t buy this. Commuter schools generally do not have major party scenes.</p>
<p>Well, I am a worrier, but excessive drinking is not high on my list of worries, because I feel I have done my best to raise sensible kids. I believe my college D drinks some, she does well grade-wise and is involved in many activities, so I just hope and pray for the best. I drank in college, the only difference being it was legal. My S, I will worry that he will spend all of his spare time in his room playing video games; I hope he gets out and socializes some!</p>
<p>IMO you leave it alone as long as grades and achievements are where they should be. We survived. They need to figure out a balanced life. Those that did not party in my college class turned out to not have balanced adult lives on average.</p>
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<p>I didn’t say a “commuter” school. Many students commute even to schools that are largely residential in nature, especially if you live near a popular school like the state flagship which can attract kids from throughout the state or from neighboring states.</p>
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The biggest party schools generally tend to be at least somewhat isolated. It is certainly possible to live in a “college town”, but the urban or suburban schools that people are most likely to live near tend to be either commuter schools or less party-focused.</p>
<p>it is ridiculous to try to define what a party school “generally is”. they come in all shapes and sizes, some of the biggest party schools in the US are also some of the most expensive.</p>
<p>I would think the last thing a parent would want is for a kid who is attending a party school to have to drive home every night.</p>
<p>Do Alcohol-free dorms help?</p>
<p>I have decided to be alcohol-free so I’m checking myself into one, to stay away from the party scene. (I’m more than game for other social activities, ECs, etc though)</p>
<p>Commuting to a school that is not primarily a commuter school can be a very lonely experience.</p>
<p>I don’t think it’s necessary to be that drastic.</p>
<p>“My first child succumbed to it and we let it go on too long. We did them no favors. We are going to keep a closer eye on this child.”</p>
<p>Don’t punish your younger child because of an older sibling’s behavior. Be clear about your expectations and if their grades aren’t up to your standards then make the child come home for a semester or two and commute until the regain your trust.</p>