<p>Bay: I wonder at a mother who would think that a child doing their own laundry is a waste of time but that THEIR time is of so little value that they should continue to do the laundry of an adult?</p>
<p>Maybe you are dating yourself because that seems very pre-1970s.</p>
<p>And cbreeze, I don’t think those a services a parent should be doing for a college kid, either. </p>
<p>I am not saying I wouldn’t help my kids in an emergency (of course I would and I have) but I am saying that when they are off to college they can arrange their own work schedules, call a locksmith if they are locked out, talk to their landlords, and do all the things that adults learn to do. And I think that is valuable and a good way to learn about consequences, responsibility, choices while still in the relatively safe confines of college.</p>
<p>My son has friends who are honors kids, incredibly driven and bright on great scholarships and their parents still insist on okaying their COLLEGE class choices, apartments, etc. The kids aren’t dependent financially but they are emotionally. They simply aren’t trusted to make good decisions now and/or they resent their parents. That’s sad.</p>
<p>There is a huge difference between being a caring parent and a caretaking parent.</p>
<p>The parents in the article probably think their kids are roughing it because they have to hang up their own clothes and make their own beds, at least during the mandatory years of dorm living.</p>
<p>If you actually look at the website for the company, it doesn’t seem so unreasonable that a wealthy international parent would want to sign up for the service. Part of what is covered is helping the kid to find appropriate medical care and navigating the health care system, helping the kid to rent an apartment in a safe area, etc. This is stuff most parents help their college-aged children with. It’s probably pretty scary to send your 18-year old to a foreign country. My guess is that the more extreme services are the outliers, just as articles about concierges in fancy hotels always highlight the guests who ask for their bathtubs to be filled with champagne instead of the guests who merely need directions to the subway.</p>
<p>moonchild, even here in CC, we often encounter parents inquiring how to get a lawyer for their kids, how to buy car insurance, how to send their kids cars, how to find internships/jobs for their kids, how to find housing etc. It’s really not that different, parents or concierge. It’s all about enabling.</p>
<p>I think what bothers me about this thread is that I tend to hate it when parents tell other parents how to parent, based upon nothing but their own opinions.</p>
<p>People are always welcome to comment and give advice or opinions whether requested or not. It’s up to everyone else to assess the validity or relevance to his/her life.</p>
<p>Having said that, I think it’s interesting. If people didn’t have differences (of opinion or otherwise) the world would be a very boring place.</p>
<p>No, I don’t think that’s the dichotomy being discussed. The issue is whether paying for a kid’s laundry to be sent out to a laundry service would deprive the kid of an important character-building exercise.</p>
<p>This board is all about opinions. That’s what a discussion board is. If people want expert advice, then go to experts. Boards like this are designed for people to share their ideas on parenting. Sometimes that sharing can be seen as critical, intended or not. It’s the nature of the beast, and I don’t think anyone here wants to get personal.
If you took any of my comments personally, I’m sorry. Didn’t mean to offend.</p>
<p>Thank you, moonchild, I was not personally offended, but I was feeling offended on behalf of all moms who try to do the right thing for the kids and end up having their kids judged incompetent for it or lacking character because of it, when we are talking about such mundane decisions as whether to do one’s own laundry or not. It just turns my stomach for some reason.</p>
<p>My feeling is that, by itself, laundry is not necessarily a “character building experience.” But if it’s part of a larger picture where the young adult really has no responsibilities that most of us would consider “menial tasks”, and has no responsibilities to anyone else, either, then yeah, I think they’re missing something.</p>
<p>And I hope that doesn’t offend anyone. It’s just my humble opinion.</p>
<p>Jamie,
I am a woman and a mom. My mom did my laundry, yes, and I do most of my and my kids laundry, and I hate it. I’d farm it out if I felt confident that our clothes wouldn’t be ruined and that I’ve have them when I needed them. For all I know, my mom felt the same way, but she’s dead now so I’ll never know.</p>
<p>It doesn’t offend me. I just think it’s interesting that certain categories of menial tasks become symbols of something larger than what they actually represent. Dare I ask how you all feel about packaged salad greens? Or bottled salad dressing? What does paying someone else to wash and chop the lettuce and mix the salad dressing ingredients say about someone’s character?</p>
<p>I think I have a plausible explanation. In college, laundry is a huge pain. It was for me, it was for my kids, and it was for their friends. For example, my Dd had to carry her bags of clothes and detergent down 5 flights of stairs, walk to another building to the machines even in cold winter months, hang around to change from wash to dry, or schlep back to her dorm and go back and forth–anyway, you get the idea. It’s the whole, “I had to walk 10 miles in the snow,” whine. And of course, she’d put if off as long as possible so it was even harder when she finally did it. Even the kids who did their own laundry at home find college laundry a pain because it’s so inconvenient most of the time.
Mine didn’t complain about cleaning the bathroom when it was her turn, or sweeping, dumping trash, she didn’t mind putting on events where she had to do all of the menial work. But laundry. It’s just so time consuming and-- it just sucks. That’s why.</p>
<p>I will say that my son didn’t complain as much. 1) He has fewer clothes. 2) He went to college in SoCal. Always great weather.</p>
A lot of people keep talking about an “entitlement” attitude. News flash: until the revolution comes, rich people are, in fact, entitled to their wealth and are entitled to spend it as they wish.
We are always going on about how important it is for students to show leadership. Isn’t delegation part of leadership?
I had a friend in college who cut his own hair. I think any of us who didn’t cut our own hair in college shouldn’t criticize others who, like us, choose to hire people to do these basic self-care tasks.
A little more seriously, I think work ethic is more important than the particular tasks that a person performs. There are rich people who work very hard, even if they don’t cut their own fingernails.</p>
<p>In the book “When I was Cool” the author described his years as a student at the Naropa Institute in CA. He was given the job of doing Allen Ginsberg’s laundry, but didn’t know how to do it, so he’d mail it to his Mom in NY and she’d do it and mail it back.</p>
<p>Even better, when we were in Brazil, we went to a museum about colonization and learned that wealthy Portuguese would send their laundry back to Portugal to be done.</p>
<p>I enjoy doing laundry at home. It’s so easy and convenient, so I like to give my college graduate a break when he’s home. I truly do enjoy it. I like cooking for him too. The last time he was home, I was sick and he and his dear GF did the cooking.</p>
<p>I do think the kids/young adults who hire this stuff out are job creators, or their parents are. My Mom was a stay at home Mom who took care of most of the cooking and laundry. She said our (mine and my sibs’) jobs were to be kids and do our homework and that we’d learn this stuff quickly when we needed to do them. We all have.</p>
<p>Hunt, Bay and oldfort for the win. Laundry is not a litmus test of character. </p>
<p>Is a college student (or adult for that matter) going to a coffee shop to study or socialize “lazy”? After all, you could make your own darn coffee and scones instead of being so entitled as to pay someone else to do it. Tsk tsk.</p>
<p>Whoa, I just went back and read the article. Way over the top, but as others have said, people can spend their money as they wish. The golf-themed 21st birthday party would have embarrassed the heck out of my son, for sure.</p>
That’s why.</p>