<p>That’s reidiculous</p>
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<p>Really?<br>
This was your take-away from this thread? And who said laundry was a litmus test of character? Many said it was not, and everyone I read agreed.</p>
<p>Perhaps I’m the only one here who thinks it’s important that our kids, even as college students, learn to care for themselves without having mom and dad, or a concierge if they aren’t available, at their beck and call. This is what the article described- not laundry, which was brought out only as an example people might relate to.
I’m not sure I even recognize some of the posters here as people I’ve “known” on this board. You really think this level of indulgence, described in the article, is healthy?
And it’s not about the money. I get it that the rich are entitled to spend their money as they choose-- heck, I am one of “the rich,” for that matter. And I’m entitled to say I think it’s unhealthy! Avoiding all of life’s menial tasks and only doing what suits us, when it suits us, and relying on parent’s money to get you out of whatever scrape you may get into is not going to serve anyone’s kid in the long term- be it a Buffet, a Walton or a Bush. I believe they’d agree. It’s not about what people are entitled to do, but what is best for their kids’ development.
You don’t create a work ethic by giving everything and expecting nothing. The article isn’t about those who get manicures or sip lattes. (doesn’t everyone?) It’s about indulging adult children to what is likely a destructive degree. </p>
<p>“Tsk. Tsk.” :rolleyes: Jeesh.</p>
<p>Moon child,
I think you missed the point that what is indulgent to one person may be practical to another. There is no one “right” way to raise a child, or any set amount of help any given parent is allowed to give before a child becomes “spoiled.” It’s an individual parenting decision that I respect.</p>
<p>The party those kids threw sounded very uncool. Let’s hope the feedback they got from their peers taught them not to rely so heavily on the concierge the next time they wanted to throw a party.</p>
<p>Bay,while I agree there is no one “right” way to raise a child, I certainly believe there is more than one wrong way. I’ve seen too much monetary indulgence, sometimes substituting for actual parental involvement, to think that whatever is ok with the family is therefore ok and not to be commented upon, must be respected, not to be judged, etc. Sorry, but there are a lot of mixed up young adults coming of age, many in our privileged corner of the world, and it’s not all the kids’ fault.</p>
<p>My own kids grew up in a community with vast amounts of wealth. Some parents are able to do a great job of indulging their kids but at the same time building character- we would all agree on that. But I’ve seen the other side, too. Too much money without some values and some expectations behind it ( not calling your concierge to get you out of trouble with the law) really can mess kids up. Spoiled? That’s not my word. Empty, might more accurate, in some cases.</p>
<p>I don’t think rich kids are necessarily any more or less screwed up than middle class or poor kids by virtue of being rich. </p>
<p>And laundry - I do get amused by the “having to teach.” Here, separate your whites and your colors. Put in washer. Put in dryer. Fold. Done. </p>
<p>I think it is more important have a spirit of helpfulness and “good citizen of the house” than any specific chore per se.</p>
<p>Moonchild – Yes, I wholeheartedly agree with this. Hope I didn’t suggest otherwise.</p>
<p>“You really think this level of indulgence, described in the article, is healthy?”</p>
<p>No, what I think is that it’s not really my business or concern how other people spend their money. Look - if it creates pampered princes and princesses, that’s their problem.</p>
<p>Who says the kids using the concierge service don’t know how to do all of the things they’re asking the concierge to do. They could just not want to do it. I know how to clean a house, I don’t want to and I can afford to not have to, so I don’t. Growing up my mom knew how to do laundry and housekeeping and such, she’d rather spend her time on other things so we had a housekeeper. I just don’t think this concierge thing is a big deal or dooming a person to a life of ineptitude.</p>
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<p>Wait! You forgot the detergent! (Now available in a convenient pod thingy.). Maybe you need a refresher course!</p>
<p>I fail to see the problem. Too many people believe rich is synonymous with spoiled. If you can afford the service, why not take advantage of its benefits? And to the old geezers in here: No, this is not 1970 anymore. College life and problems young people face today are much more difficult than of their previous generations. I live in an off-campus student complex in a crime-ridden area and our concierge sure comes in handy.</p>
<p>Oh, and it creates jobs and stimulates the economy or whatever.</p>
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<p>I agree. It’s not the money itself that’s the problem. It’s never having had to take care of any responsibilities. It’s never have had to tackle and complete an unpleasant and/or menial task. It’s never having had to figure out how to solve some practical life problem. It’s having everything done for you and handed to you.</p>
<p>Is it good for a child to have some assigned chores? Of course it is. Is it good for a young adult to have some experience and savvy about how to deal with daily life? Of course it is. That’s why we admire the cool and capable Jeeves. No one admires a feckless incompetent. That’s why we laugh and sneer at Bertie Wooster. And that’s why some of us shudder at the plight of today’s new crop of budding Berties.</p>
<p>I don’t think we sneer at Bertie. He had a good heart, even though he was incompetent. The problematic attitude is a sense of superiority with nothing to back it up. The joke in the Jeeves books was that Bertie and his friends thought that Jeeves was such a genius when he showed basic common sense. Somehow, I find it unlikely that the kids in the article are treating their service providers as geniuses.</p>
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<p>A speeding ticket? You mean a college age kid can’t handle his own speeding ticket?
When my kid got a speeding ticket in high school, he went to the courthouse personally, paid the ticket with his own funds and had to take a course to get the ticket off of his record. And he learned a lesson. He’s a much more careful driver. We could easily have found someone to “take care of it” for a fee. </p>
<p>So what did this kid in the article learn? That he can do as he pleases, no hassle on his part- no harm done. Let’s hope next time he speeds, there really is no harm done.
But hey, who am I to criticize. I’m just a parent who has kids on the road.</p>
<p>I’m not saying I would never help my kid out in serious legal trouble when the consequences could be life-changing. Of course I’d want him to have good counsel. But a speeding ticket? That’s a parent’s dream opportunity for a kid to learn a lesson.</p>
<p>I thought the article was more about help throwing parties. My son’s college had parties just about every weekend. More would be coals to Newcastle.</p>
<p>I’m thinking that lots of new (and maybe not so new) grads who are working incredible hours at their jobs in strange cities and far from friends and family could use one of these folks, if not already supplied by an employer, even if they know how to do their own laundry and cook…</p>
<p>Re: the speeding ticket - how far is it from Vermont to Tufts? Perhaps the student did not want to miss a whole day of classes to make the round trip just to pay a ticket. Using a local representative to handle it seems like it may have been a practical solution rather than an indulgence. </p>
<p>Drawing the conclusion that using a concierge service means a person has never had to do anything himself is quite a leap of logic.</p>
<p>If the kid was worried about missing classes, he should have left Vermont with enough time to get back to Massachusetts without having to speed. Instead he potentially endangered others because his vacation time was more important than the safety of other drivers on the road. Can’t believe anyone would defend this kid avoiding the consequences of his actions in this case.</p>
<p>Well, I guess I was just stupid. When I was in college I taught numerous members of the male gender how to do laundry. I even did some of their laundry myself, knowing they would ruin some of the more delicate items, and I didn’t charge! Of course some of them were nice enough to help me move furniture shovel out my car!</p>
<p>It just dawned on me that even as a college student, I didn’t like anyone touching my laundry, especially those certain “delicates” we all have. And although I used them, I didn’t like washers and dryers that, well, who knows what had been through them!</p>
<p>I would have preferred a stackable washer/dryer in my suite or dorm room and would have gladly done my own laundry as I studied! Wonder how much that would cost in comparison to the concierge service? To each their own, I guess!</p>