Colleges you/child crossed off the list after visiting

Parents Forum
941

<p>“when comparing to Oxford and Cambridge, the tour guide said “cam-bridge” with the “cam” rhyming with “lamb” rather than “came”. I was genuinely disgusted.”</p>

<p>Um…lol. That’s a little judgmental!</p>

<p>Also I want to defend halopower, even though I’ve never been to Northwestern/Evanston. But having been to Cornell on an overcast day, I imagine Northwestern is similar. Those gothic buildings can look really creepy and depressing when the sun is not out, fo sho.</p>

<p>“Columbia meh?”</p>

<p>Yeah, it actually is. The campus is whatever. I mean, it’s a city campus, so you have to give them props for that - perhaps it is one of the most impressive city campuses there is - but relative to other universities (albeit perhaps more suburban ones) it is small, too uptight feeling (all the grass was roped off when I went!), cramped, and some of the dorms are horrific (a UMCP student saying this says a lot, fyi haha).</p>

942

<p>Yes, it’s judgemental. It’s judging brain power. Considering Harvard is also in a town called Cambridge, you’d think she could have worked it out.</p>

943

<p>Haverford was a complete turn off for my daughter. One guidebook called Haverford males “short and hairy”. I didn’t see anything to contradict that.
Her guide was a male with almost unbelievable lack of self esteem. He sat on a glass table “to be cool” his second day of campus, and spent orientation having shards removed from his bottom. I prompted that it must have gotten him well known in his class. He said “Yes. I’m known as glass ass”.</p>

944

<p>Well, I think that kind of non-concern about one’s image is kind of cool. We’re all silly dorks sometimes.</p>

<p>I can’t imagine that any school would select on the basis of looks so that the campus would be particularly unattractive.</p>

<p>When Harvard selected on the basis of looks it was to week out Jews, which was incredibly offensive. They were proud of building of a tall, Christian, blond student body. </p>

<p>I guess if we all went to Harvard in the 1950’s we might encounter a very photogenic population.</p>

945

<p>On your tour you went into dorms? I’m wondering which ones bc I can tell you they are not all shacks. When did you visit Princeton that no one was around? As for insularity is that code for the fact the town is a wealthy one? It is interesting to me that you find Columbia bland- I can think of a lot of descriptive words for Columbia but bland? As for Princeton that is the one thing the kids there are most decidedly not doing- sleeping!</p>

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<p>well I’m a junior, just visited northwestern- I liked it alot actually
I agree the powerpoint was boring, I wanted to sleep. The tour, however, was great. The school sounded really fun, in terms of tradition and the rock, and advertising and stuff. I also really liked the advisor system. Campus was pretty, and I thought the buildings were nice. The classrooms seemed small, but I don’t really have much to compare them to.
I thought the campus was definitely intellectual, but also fun and not cut-throat. Maybe that was the influence of my tour guide? I think that, for the HPME program at least, it is great.</p>

947

<p>NB: I’m a Haverford tour guide.</p>

<p>I think this thread is a great idea, especially for those who don’t have the wherewithal to visit everywhere they’d like to. If it was a perfect world, we’d all be able to “plug in” to a college and learn about the intangibles that the tour guide/glossy viewbook can’t convey, but we can’t, so we rely upon other cues to infer what might be true.</p>

<p>All this talk about my fellow ‘Fords and I as short and having "two days’ beard" (I’m female, so no beard, but I’m short indeed) doesn’t hurt my feelings all that much; we tend to have a bit of good humor about that sort of thing. It’s true that we joke that the typical Havermale is five-foot-eight, hairy, and named Dan. Some freshman halls, in no ignorance of the Dan archetype, celebrate “Stachevember,” meaning that, depending on your time of visit, you may see a truly impressive degree of scruffitude.</p>

<p>But “ugly”? “Depressed-looking”? Ouch. I think I’m about to become the latest Haverford tour guide with no self-esteem. :wink: I must have been lucky on the day I took my own tour, since I didn’t run across too many uglies - otherwise I wouldn’t have ended up here and had this life-changing education! Seriously, though - I’m not going to address the charges at hand (suffice it to say I disagree), but I just wanted to gently remind you of two things:</p>

<p>– The perceived attractiveness of the handful of students you’ll encounter on your tour is not necessarily indicative of the experience you’ll have at a college, unless you have some sort of hotness criteria for the classmates who will patiently help you through your problem sets, the hallmates who will surprise you with delicious treats on your birthday, or the friends who will support you through your first night away from home, your thesis oral defense, and everything in between (and beyond).</p>

<p>– Your tour guide can’t be everything to everyone. I’m careful never to wear pearls or shoes with a heel: I’ll never forget that Wellesley tour guide whose outfit singlehandedly convinced 16-year-old me to not apply. In retrospect, would I have been happy at Wellesley? Absolutely. Do I realize that I may do little unconscious things that could convince a student who’d be happier here than anywhere else that Haverford sucks? Sure, and I certainly hope that hasn’t happened, but I remember what it’s like to tour 20 colleges - you can only apply to 10 of them, and they all seem to have low student-faculty ratios and well-maintained lawns, so something’s gotta give. Did I mention that the tour guide forgot to put on deodorant?</p>

<p>I might not be posting this if not for my own parents, who were the ones who taught me to look past the superficial in my college search. I hope you can help your kids to do the same.</p>

948

<p>Our experiences with daughter:
University of Minnesota Morris: This is the school my wife and I attended. We loved it, daughter didn’t. “I’m not going anywhere that doesn’t even have a Target store in town.”
St. Olaf: All of us loved it.
Carleton: Girls seemd nerdy. Rumors about the girls not wearing make-up seemed to be true.
Gustavus: Seemed OK, but buildings were run down. Very good presentation though, and the president of the school stopped us during the tour and welcomed us.
Concordia Moorhead: The most one-on-one attention of any school we visited. They stressed individual attentiont there, and I believe them. Also nice follow-ups after visiting.
Iowa-No way
Iowa State-No way
University Madison Wisconsin: “Too hilly”
Northwestern: Liked it
Notre Dame: We absolutely loved it. Thought it would high on daughter’s list, but she said “Too Catholic.” (We are Lutheran)
Washington University in St. Louis: Friendliest people, best dorms, best food. Wife and I loved it. Daughter: I know I shouldn’t go by this, but the football stdium wasn’t very nice. Not only that, but you’d have to explain to everyone that Washington University is not actually in Washington."
Duke: We all loved it. Cameron, DukeEngage, and architecture of campus all impressed us.
UNC: It was very nice, but seemed a bit spread out.</p>

<p>Verdict: Daughter applying to University of Minnesota, St. Olaf, Concordia Moorhead, Northwestern, Auburn, Duke, UNC, and Yale.
We haven’t visited Auburn, but plan to in February as D was selelcted as a Presidential Scholar and has full tuition for four years along with other goodies, and the potential for more. Went to to a Yale info session, but D said, “Why visit when it is so hard to get into. Let’s visit IF I get accepted.”</p>

1 Like
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<p>BlackSquirrel - Very dignified response. Glad you also had a sense of humor about the thread. Many schools have taken a shot here…keeping in mind that the premise of the thread encourages parental humor about some of the criteria used by our kids. </p>

<p>Your name reminded me of the school we visited where the tour guide joked during a two hour tour that the many black squirrels on campus were known to attack students. Not Haverford, by the way. My kid later said that she couldn’t get the image out of her mind from that throw-away joke. School came off the list… I’m sure it came off the list for other reasons (I hope!), but the squirrel comment was the reason that I was given.</p>

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<p>Make-up? Really? Do most college girls wear make-up and is it a negative if they don’t? I didn’t realize the pageant perspective pervades college picks.</p>

<p>I never wore make-up in college. We considered it frivolous. Our purpose was to get the US out of Vietnam (we succeeded) and end the torturing and napalming of children (actually we succeeded less well, though we did succeed in Vietnam.)</p>

<p>I certainly wouldn’t judge anyone who wore make-up (and good knows I do now to the chagrin of my H who hates it) but in college?</p>

951

<p>my daughter rarely doesn’t go to school without makeup on (very lightly applied). She almost always wears a little makeup, except on the weekends if she is just hanging out. I also never wore makeup until the past few years! The times have changed.
I should add that my daughter is far from a “girly girl”. Goes to school every day in jeans and teeshirts!</p>

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<p>renaissanceMom</p>

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<p>Maybe you and your S should go see Emory :slight_smile: It is very diverse and VERY liberal socially and politically. I don’t know where he possibly could have heard that it is too conservative. I know VEEERRRY few conservatives here.</p>

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<p>Blacksquirrel I admire your reply.</p>

954

<p>One university we visited was crossed off the list after seeing an inordinate amount of shelf space in the bookstore dedicated to Twilight merchandise.</p>

<p>I understand the make-up issue. Much like the earlier Ugg boot observation, it is a marker of a certain outlook. Vandy girls were mentioned at least once in this thread for being at the other end of the spectrum that Mustang2000 noted at Carleton. Lest I be accused of singling out females, scruffy men vs. popped polos are part of the same conversation. These are noticeable things that teens easily pick up on during these largely superficial visits.</p>

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<p>I wore MORE makeup in college than I do now! My freshman roommate still thought I needed “making over.” I was an engineering student, and she was a sorority girl. She didn’t have much luck with me, lol. I ended up OK, though. :-)</p>

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<p>NC State - too much brick and engineering campus was remote from main campus (requiring shuttle) and looked like a new suburban office park.</p>

<p>Duke: is surrounded by forest making it seem too isolated from any town</p>

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<p>UPenn, Duke.</p>

958

<p>I would be turned off by a school where most of the girls were wearing makeup / obvious make up. I don’t wear any at all and am actually pretty against make up (I won’t hit you for it, promise). It sucks to totally go against the grain.</p>

959

<p>If you think women should not wear make-up see this week’s Star magazine. Celebrities from Michelle O on down without makeup. Scary.</p>

960

<p>Perhaps you are just used to women wearing cosmetics applied too heavily barrons- :wink:
I find that the older I get, the more I pay attention to my skin & I actually wear less makeup than I did when I was 14.</p>