<p>I wrote an essay about my mother's heart attack and her struggle for life. I also wrote about how her dedicated effort in certain fields in face of that sickness convinced me not to give up on my own goals under the pressure. I think it is an ok essay overall, but I don't want to sound like I am WHINING or something. If they want my life experience, that is it. I can not make something nice for them. Do you think it is a good essay topic?</p>
<p>Would anyone like to read it for me and give me some critique?</p>
<p>it's not a bad essay topic per se, but the most likely conclusion is that you come off sounding corny and cliched. What does your essay say to the "so what?" question that a good essay must answer? "I learned to never give up"? "I got perspective and now I know things are never that bad"? You need to come to some deeper personal conclusions here and I dunno if this is going to cut it. It has potential but you need to drive the point home hard.</p>
<p>I agree with Denzera completely, and will just add that a good essay needs to be about you. You're not writing your mom's biography. You need to SHOW how you've accomplished something / changed something / etc. as a result of whatever you plan to tell them about your mom.</p>
<p>Yes. I agree. That is what I had in mind when I was writing it. </p>
<p>I am telling them how I had to "fight on two fronts" - at school and at home. The general idea is that mothers efforts in organizing a group to help landmine and unexploded ordinances' victims despite her illness convinced me to keep up the good work despite thoughts of cutting back. I also said that it prepared me for future challenges and made me look at things "with a new set of eyes" and better "appreciation of life" after her death. I agree that without answering that "so what?" question it would really be about someone else and not me.: -)</p>