<p>+1 to Photographer Mom – you have very neatly put into words my feeling on the subject. I seriously do not view BS as a path to the Ivies, but as a destination in and of itself. At this point, my child has said she doesn’t even want to go to an Ivy. </p>
<p>What she DOES want (and fortunately we are on the same page for once… LOL) is a chance to “do it on her own”. She wants the challenge of having to manage it all herself. Obviously we all know she will have a ton of help from the faculty, staff and coaches. But, I think you can see what I mean. She is looking forward to meeting kids from different countries and economic strata. She is looking forward to trying new sports and finding new passions. </p>
<p>I, however, am hoping she will not forget to turn her homework in. :-)</p>
<p>You are right in saying that attending boarding school can enable people to “find out who they are” – I know that was certainly true for me. In fact, I would not be the person I am today had I not attended boarding school. That is not an overstatement. And, as for college: the funny part is I don’t even think about it much. Boarding school was, for me, the more important of the experiences…</p>
<p>@photographermom: I respectfully disagree. While no school is the “best” for everyone, like any other industry, there are certain objective criteria to evaluate the quality of private schools. That said, this is no place to rank or tier schools, but everyone should be careful about what they say about schools they have never attended or attended decades ago. It can be offensive.</p>
<p>A few years of debating this issue on the boards leads me to believe that this is a “never the twain shall meet” sort of philosophical divide — with of course, plenty of grey areas in between ;-).</p>
<p>Because after all, even those of us who are not “tier-ists” seem to have made some distinction between school in our child’s consideration set and those outside of it. So we too are making some sort of judgement of merit. Or is it more of appropriateness/suitability/fit?</p>
<p>I think the key here is to be open. Beyond the most talked about schools there are other schools that are not only comparable, but in some cases offer better value.</p>
<p>I have a house full of Apple products, but I own Samsung stock. I think it boils down to how you look at things.</p>
<ul>
<li>1 million to PhotographerMom</li>
</ul>
<p>Invariably the people most likely to “label” a school as better, or covet one with prestige, is someone who didn’t go through the experience. It’s so distasteful and so unnecessary.</p>
<p>Since I started this thread, can I just say “Can’t we all get along?” ;-)</p>
<p>
[quote]
I don’t wish to romanticize BS, but many of us found out who we were during those years (due to large amounts of adversity)- way before we entered college. Those experiences and school ties last a lifetime…
[quote]
</p>
<p>Loved this sentiment PhotographerMom. We knew nothing about BSs when we started exploring, really looking to find challenging academic opportunities for our S. But truly, after 4 years, I watched how he and his friends grew into such well rounded, world- oriented young men and women, mentored by caring and committed teachers, advisors and coaches. That is the true gift of BS, I think – the relationships, confidence, and character growth one develops. I will be curious in the future to see if my S will encourage BS for his own children down the road. I certainly hope so for these reasons.</p>
<p>^and I can’t seem to get that quoting thing! :)</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>use [ / quote ] at the end :)</p>
<p>I am unclear how a rational and interesting discussion could turn so nasty so quickly. One of the things I like most about CC is how most people don’t snipe at each other. Let’s go back to that.</p>
<p>@london203: I don’t know how it happened, but I do know where.</p>
<p>Somewhere between post #25 and #27…</p>
<p>Exie said:
Invariably the people most likely to “label” a school as better, or covet one with prestige, is someone who didn’t go through the experience. It’s so distasteful and so unnecessary.</p>
<p>Then Alden0611 said:
^^watch your language! Distasteful is a very strong word for a civil discussion. It’s so subjective that anyone could say “right back at you!”…Btw, whom are you referring to when you said “someone who didn’t go through the experience”? How do you know? In your imaginary world?</p>
<hr>
<p>While I respect both of these posters for their contributions over the short and long term, my “Can’t we all get along” comment was intended for both of them.</p>
<p>I happen to agree with Exie’s assertion that many people who label a school as “better/best” often don’t have first hand experience with ANY of these schools. Hence my thread a while back asking parents who went to Ivies if they are pro-Ivy for their own kids. To show that many parents who have “been there, done that” are not as “all in” as those who have not had the privilege of dining at 1920 Commons (a Penn reference for those of a certain vintage) or other hallowed halls seem to be.</p>
<p>But one thing that I really appreciated about that particular thread was the handful of parents who said “Yes, I am.” in the face of many voices to the contrary. That’s what makes the world go round/anonymous internet forums so entertaining/informative.</p>
<p>However, I can see how Alden0611 would take offense at Exie’s generalization…perhaps Alden0611 is also an Exeter and MIT grad but does not share Exie’s POV on this topic. To be call someone’s opinion “distasteful and so unnecessary” is pretty much as offensive as calling someone’s alma mater or their child’s current school “second tier”.</p>
<p>But then Alden0611 came back with “watch your language” and “In your imaginary world”…both of which belittle Exie. Hence my channeling of Rodney King.</p>
<p>And now, I shall back to my day job, hopeful that my return to the forum hasn’t been a complete mistake.</p>
<p>@SevenDad, Mel Brooks might disagree, but I’m with you. “It’s good to have a day job!”</p>
<p>Ummmm…wow!?! I never understand why having an opinion gets me labeled as a “bully” given that I’ve been known to argue both sides. And since I’ve been posting much longer than Alden6011 - it’s pretty clear that my post about “distasteful” was a generic response to the topic given all the threads we’ve waded through over the last few years in which someone comes on to belittle Hidden Gem schools and mock students who don’t choose to matriculate to IVY’s.</p>
<p>Actually - it gets old. Seems like the same refrain over and over and over again to which we response…-*love the school that loves you. Find the one that fits. Don’t rely on BS to get you into an IVY<a href=“those%20days%20are%20gone”>/i</a>. </p>
<p>But there will always be someone who is rubbed the wrong way and it probably has nothing to do with anything going on here. </p>
<p>So let it go. Not worth the energy, honestly, I say facetiously from the “bully” pulpit :)</p>
<p>If it matters, Exie, I find your posts to be informative and well said.</p>
<p>I’m out. (tenchar)</p>
<p>What is an AA student?</p>
<p>AA = Affirmative Action</p>
<p>I’ll just say that for some of us who have been through it, even though it was a long time ago, there can be strong mixed feelings. Isn’t that true for most everyone’s high school experience? There are definitely both kids and parents who populate this board who look to particular schools as the universal panacea for “the good life.” I can’t defend all of Exie’s rhetoric–can’t even defend my own as it tends to shift and evolve over time, but I can say that there is immense value to insiders’ views, both in terms of current students and past alums. If you look widely across these boards, much of the best commentary comes from those in the know…and certainly that can be parents, too, as they observe their kids go through the process. I would disagree that anyone here should be considered as an expert…even school insiders like Albion and the long lost GemmaV are limited by their perspectives from one particular institution. You get what you pay for. CC is a valuable resource, but as in life, critical analysis cannot be checked at the door. But ad hominem (or feminam?) attacks don’t really add much no matter where you’re coming from.</p>