Common app Essay review

College Essays
1

I just wrote my common app essay (first draft) and I would appreciate if I could get any help editing/improving. Thank you

2

I’ll help!

3

I gotchu!

4

Its about 850 words and I would really appreciate if anyone could provide me suggestions on how I can cut it down.

5

Im willing to read and help, PM me!

6

bump

7

I can read it!