Common App essay

I have written several essays and cannot seem to find one I like. I am writing my essay on Gear for Ghana. This is a 501c3 nonprofit that I created last year after I did a service trip in Ghana. I know people say don’t write about service trips so that is why I am focusing on Gear for Ghana. It is a 501c3 nonprofit organization focused on helping with the safety of children/young adults in sports. With the donations I receive of used sports equipment, I am sending shipments to Ghana so the kids there will be able to safely play the sports they love. I’m not sure how to go about writing this but if someone from a very outside perspective could give me some words of wisdom that would be awesome! Thank you so much.

It’s great that you created your own nonprofit! Also, its smart to focus on the effect it had, not on the exotic-ness of the trip. Write the story and make sure it shows a picture of you, who you are, how you think, how you act, any self insight you gained, problems you had to solve, etc.

Do you have a good story to tell about it?

I am talking about the moment I was packing up the last pair of shoes and driving to drop the boxes off at USPS. I then talk about the impact and my conclusion is seeing the video of two girls running in the shoes I was packing up in Ghana.

I think you are on the right track, and I applaud your efforts to help the less fortunate. The reader might be curious, and ask “Why Ghana?” You have to tread lightly here, because you may run the risk of coming off as an ultra- overprivileged kid going through the motions of doing what you think someone wants to see. I don’t think that is the case here, but I sense this is part of your hesitation about this topic.

Remember to keep the focus on you - if this is unusual for you, talk about what you learned, how did it make you feel, etc. If this is not unusual, talk about how you’ve always been all about helping other people, etc.

This may be the very best thing you’ve done, and it may only be the start of great things you plan on doing.

Think about why you are writing this, and the reaction you are hoping to get from the reader. If, for example, you write about how hard this was, and that you think you’ll never do anything more important than this in your life, then the admissions officer who reads it will say to themselves - wow, this kid has peaked in high school - and then look to next application…

Again, kudos to you, and thanks for doing something meaningful to help others.

I think its a great topic. You saw a need and stepped in. You saw a problem and created a solution. The problem with most of the exotic trip essays is that the conclusion is often trite. “I saw poverty and it changed my view and now I want to help humanity.” Your essay isn’t that. There are many ways you could approach this. Write about the journey of setting up the non-profit – how it was difficult, how you overcame those difficulties – what it meant to you. Write about the journey of discovering and then finding a way to help solve the problem so you can show your passion, your aptitude for problem solving, your enthusiasm etc. These are just a few approaches among many possibilities.