Common App Essays- Pulling the Pity Card?

<p>I'm a junior in high school, and I have struggled with severe depression and suicide attempts since my freshman year, so it's been an ongoing thing for three years now. My parents want me to write my Common App essay about this, because they feel it is very central to who I am as a person, which it is, but I don't want to pull the depression card and seem like I'm trying to be pitied. What should I do? Should I write my essay centered around my illness or?</p>

<p>Write about something you want to write about. Colleges may be leery of accepting suicidal applicants. …</p>

<p>You can write about that if it truly is an integral part of who you are today. But don’t focus too much on the storytelling of your past. You should give some background - maybe why you were depressed - but then make the bulk of your essay how the experience has shaped you into the person you are today and how you’ve grown from it. IMO, it’s not “pity” if you turn your negative topic into a positive outcome.</p>

<p>Colleges want diverse student bodies, but I doubt if that includes depressed and suicidal students. I would think you have little chance of being accepted if you write your essay about this.</p>

<p>If you write your easay about overcoming this then yes it would be an exceptional topic. If you just write that you had it no.</p>

<p>I think this is a very risky topic for your essay, better handled in the letter from your college counselor. Your essay is the place to show what talents you’ll bring to college.<br>
If you focus on depression and suicidal thoughts, a college will be concerned about their ability to meet your needs living away from home in a dorm.</p>

<p>@seattle_mom, that last comment sounded like it was meant to be a joke but I actually found it quite offensive, just saying.</p>

<p>Anyways, I think its a great idea to write about your illness and the struggles you faced. However, I think the key part to doing so is to not make the focus of your essay about the depression and how terrible it was, but how it helped mold you into the person you are today. Show vulnerability, while still reflecting a humble confidence. If you do it right, it could be a killer essay.</p>

<p>You only pull the pity card if all you do is talk about your depression and suicidal attempts. You need to describe how you overcame adversity, although I agree that suicide and depression might be topics that might scare colleges away. This is not to minimize the impact it’s had on you, but colleges are already under a lot of pressure when it comes to mental illness, especially with recent violence on college campuses.</p>

<p>jadenio, I don’t know what you found offensive about my response or why you think I was trying to be funny. The OP’s parents want him/her to write about being suicidal, and I advised him/her to pick a different topic, a topic of his/her own choice.</p>

<p>As for the second part, siliconvalleymom (#6) said it better.</p>

<p>I just thought it was a bit harsh to label OP as a “suicidal applicant”.</p>

<p>I see. I was trying to suggest that the college might view the applicant that way after reading the essay. They want diversity but they don’t want to let themselves in for potentially difficult situations, e.g. lawsuits, to be blunt.</p>

<p>Seattlmom and others are correct. And why call it ‘the pity card’? Depression is an illness, albeit one with a stigma when it comes to college admissions. The fact that toy would write the essay for pity points makes it sound as if it would not be constructive. No one wants to accept a student out of pity. Sorry if that sounds harsh.</p>

<p>With all due respect, it’s not like I would write “I want to kill myself” in essays. Not only is that not true, that’s obviously not going to get me accepted. I meant more along the lines of because some colleges have supplement essays about facing challenges or stuff that’s changed your life; or whatever, I could write about this. </p>

<p>And really, if a college doesn’t accept me due to a mental illness or has any stipulations about it, I don’t think I would want to go there anyway.</p>

<p>OP, that’s a great point.
Best wishes to you.</p>

<p>I think that it really depends what angle you write about it from. While writing about that stuff can be risky, if you do, be sure to highlight your strength and what you got out of it rather than focusing on what happened in the past.</p>

<p>Bostonbound, suicidality is considered a huge liability for colleges. At Swarthmore, a student who presents with little more than ideation is told to immediately leave campus and is not allowed to set foot on campus at any time under any circumstance until they complete a full psych eval and have multiple meetings with deans. They take suicide attempts far more seriously than any violent crime that occurs on campus and that’s because of the liability and fear of lawsuits. </p>

<p>You don’t want to advertise to the admissions committee that you could be a potential liability for that campus. It may seem philosophically problematic for you and I get that. At the same time, it’s the admissions office who would make this decision. It may not be indicative of the student and faculty culture.</p>

<p>Yes, because I’m totally going to tell the admissions officers I want to commit suicide on campus. That will increase my chances of getting in exponentially. </p>

<p>If you can’t tell, I’m being sarcastic. </p>

<p>By writing about my depression, I would address it in a way that would fit a prompt, if it so asked for overcoming a difficulty, something that defines me, etc. I have no interest in portraying myself as a suicidal applicant, because I’m not. Depression and suicidal thoughts are two different things. I was more asking the CC community at large if depression was an acceptable topic to write about, if it fit the prompt and I could use it to paint me in a positive light. </p>

<p>I was considering applying to Swarthmore, but if that’s how they treat their students, I’m not going to even look at their supplements.</p>