Communication with AOs

Prep School Admissions
1

Would appreciate any insight people can share about communication with AOs generally and with regard to the questions below.

  1. OK to ask questions about any perceived deficiencies that it might be possible to address (e.g., necessity for additional scores)?
  2. OK to send updates (e.g., won a tournament in ______) before decisions are made?
  3. OK to have very little contact with the AO (or teachers, coaches, etc.) before decisions are made?
  4. What kinds of communication is frowned upon?
  5. What kinds of communications are essential?

Thanks in advance!

2

Others might have had different experiences, but in our case, the boarding school our children attended let’s put it this way, preferred communication with the students over the parents. It’s good to learn that now as part of the Admissions process.
Regarding updates. One of our children sent some updates, but conventional wisdom warns, “The thicker the file, the thicker the applicant.” You really need to say what you want to say in the app. I imagine, like college ADCOMS, these adcoms are reading a lot of files, and likely “tire” of too many updates. Updating a coach for a recruited athlete is probably something different.

3

If you update the AO after applications are submitted it should be for something really outstanding. Sometimes things happen in Jan/Feb that are noteworthy and then it is fine to let the school know.

It is fine to have little direct contact with the AO. That is probably the norm. You will meet them at the interview, child will write a TY note and that could be all. Or there could be more communication.

4

Thank you both. My child is definitely driving the process but is receptive to parental advice. I would just like to avoid providing any bad advice.

5

Sorry this is off topic… but i just read this and I couldn’t help myself…

My parents have repeatedly insisted that there is no such thing as bad parental advice…
My mom “I am older than you, wiser then you, and I am your mother case closed”

6

Not to say anything disparaging about anyone’s parents, but this type of statement always reminds me of Mommie Dearest.

7

Let’s deconstruct:

Older - Check. Barring a Dr. Who type experience, it’s hard to argue this against this one. That said, I’ve seen many cases where older does not equate to better.

Wiser - Hmmm. Wisdom is “the quality of having experience, knowledge, and good judgment.” If we’re talking about a situation in which the other person has no particular experience or knowledge, that takes out the first two prongs, leaving us with only the question of “good judgment,” something that may be called into question if someone is claiming to have wisdom about a situation for which they have no experience or knowledge.

Mother - Check. A judge once commented: “I’m right. This is not necessarily true because I’m correct but rather because I’m final.” Alas, this is the only point that matters. It’s like the golden rule: (S)he who has the gold makes the rules. Checkmate.

This is all in jest, of course; I also couldn’t help myself.

8

Bill Cosby isn’t quite the person to quote anymore, but I can’t help remembering that his father told him something like, “I brought you into this world and I can take you out of it…and I can make another one just like you.”

9

LOL… yes they tried that… It didn’t work out to well… She’s worse then me :)) :wink: :smiley: