(Unsure if this is the proper place to post this) Basically, this post is one part question, one part rant, and one part really needing advice. I’ll put my main question first, but it may be helpful to read the whole post to understand where I am coming from here. This is my main question: Should I apply to DePaul for winter 2018 admission, work hard and hope I get accepted to the RA program for my sophomore year, or continue attending the school I am now? It is a huge gamble, and I am very willing to be an RA, I think I would enjoy it, actually. The only way I can attend any school out of state is if housing and meal plans are paid for in exchange for my work. I’ll have to take out loans no matter what, but I will have fewer loans if I am an RA. I just don’t know what I would do if I couldn’t be an RA.
I very, very badly wanted to attend DePaul University in Chicago. For years, I knew it was my dream to go to school and live in a city I love so much, so in high school I worked so hard to make it come true. I spent summer 2016 applying to almost 100 scholarships, since I’ve always known financially it would be hard for me to go out of sate, but I never won one scholarship. Despite this, I was accepted to several schools, but DePaul gave me the most aid and I was so happy to be going. However, come May 1, my parents informed me there was no way for them to pay and I could not take out a loan in the amount that I would need, so I ultimately had to go to an instate university. This school is not bad, but it does not have a good program for my majors, journalism and political science. It is more focused on law and medicine. In my senior year of high school, I had a project about journalism in which I worked with a professor at the university I’m attending. The professor taught a journalism class and told me that, in her opinion, it was not worth my time and money to receive a degree from this school. She says the department is not up to date and I will not learn what I need to be successful, and there are few and far between opportunities for internships and jobs in my state. Despite these issues, I have decided to go to the university because I feel that if I took a semester or year off, I would be back in the same situation because my finances will likely not change. So here in lies my problem. I cannot afford to live in the on campus dorms, it is a waste of money as I see it. Moving to an apartment near campus is not an affordable or safe option, the school is in an area with lots of homeless people and crime. (I’ve been panhandled several times on campus already). I live about 30 minutes away from school, but with traffic it’s more like an hour. The school offered parking permits, but it was 500 dollars a permit and did not ensure a parking space on any given day. My parents and I felt that it was not a good use of money, so they drive me to school everyday. It’s so difficult, because for my 9:30ams, I have to get up at 6 to be on time to leave. I drive to school in the morning with my mother, and we have to take my younger brother to his school on the way to mine. This is especially hard because I just spent 7 years at the school we drive my brother to, and I am now in my 8th year of making the same drive, seeing the same school, and having the same schedule I have had for years. I am not really in control of my class schedule, so I cannot change the times of my classes. On Tuesdays and Thursdays, I only have one class from 9:30-10:40, so my commute time is longer than my actual class. I also have to wait until 12:00 for my father to pick me up when he gets off work. On MWF, I have four classes and only a 20 minute lunch. It won’t change next semester, I will always need to be dropped off in the morning by a parent. I live in a somewhat isolated area of Albuquerque, New Mexico and public transportation is not an option for me, I do not live near a bus stop that runs to the university. By the end of the week, I am exhausted from getting up so early and having taxing days. In addition to this, I am having such a difficult time making friends. Because I live so far away, going to club meetings in the evening or at night are impossible, since I have homework, at home chores, and the next day to be ready for. There was an ice cream social last Friday night, but it did not start until 9:30pm and my parents could not take and drop me off.
Making friends in class is hard, most people are on their phones and not very friendly. I have some friends from high school that attend the school, but they live on campus and their schedules do not match with mine so I don’t see anyone throughout the day. The school has a very strict policy that does not allow friends to spend the nights in dorms, so that’s not an option for me to see my friends. I spend my 20 minute lunch breaks alone in the Student Center trying to make small talk with people sitting around me. I spent welcome week looking for groups that have commuter students in mind, but no such groups exist, and the school website doesn’t have any socials for commuters planned. I went to a very small middle and high school, and was so looking forward to meeting new people in college, but at this school I am having such a hard time. I attended an orientation, but it was not geared toward making friends but of establishing the rules of campus and was mostly lectures with very little down/social time. I am friendly, but can be a bit shy, so that makes things even more difficult. I feel so lonely, and that I am missing critical parts of what is supposed to be a new, exciting time in my life. It just feels like I am still in high school. My days are long and hard. I like a few classes I am taking, but without the social aspect it’s difficult. I try hard not to, but I feel so envious of my friends in out of state schools. They have roommates, orientations, clubs, and socials to attend. Another thing is, is I have no independence. I do not drive, I wouldn’t have any where to go anyway, living in a rural suburb. I love my parents to death, but I was so looking forward to moving away and “coming into my own” and finding my own way for a while. I was so ready. This whole issue of me going to this school has been so emotionally draining. It may sound stupid, and maybe it is and the problems are trivial, but it is my life and I don’t like the way I am currently living it. My parents have been a fantastic support throughout all of this, but only my mother went to college (the same one I’m attending) and her journey was different than mine and I feel like I need outside advice. Thank you for reading and for any advice.
Good luck applying to DePaul, I think you have everything clear, just need a change in your routine to continue forward.
Ps: In my country we don’t have dorms.
My son is a commuter right now in USA, He choose his School because he want to live at home. Better for us is our culture.
But He can go to school by train and bus take 1 hour, and if he want it , I drive him half the way to my office.
For you,commuting apparently it’s not working.
Good Luck.
Thank you for the reply, it is greatly appreciated.
At least at the schools my daughters attended, RA jobs were hard to get. And I’m guessing even harder if a student had just transferred in.
Yes, that is why I have reservations about applying. I would pay housing for the Winter 2018 semester, then hopefully become an RA for the 2018-2019 school year.
I don’t think your plan is financially feasible. The chance is too high that you would not get an RA position.
Yes, I understand. I’m looking into other, less expensive options as well.
I agree: do a broad college search. Are there any other schools in your state system which are better than the one you’re at? Or, do any neighboring state systems give tuition discounts to kids from your state?
You can’t count on being an RA. What state are you in? Are there other in state options that might be affordable?
Thank you for the reply; There are two other schools in the state, but not nearly as good as the one I am at now. There are a few options for scholarships in neighboring states, such as Colorado, but the do require a certain major. I will need to retake the ACT (which I do not mind doing) in order to see if I qualify for partner scholarships.
Thank you to everyone who has replied so far, it helps so much to hear others opinions on this situation!
A little late but I would apply for the fall semester. That way you start the year fresh. But note, if money is as big of an issue that it sounds, Chicago is a very expensive city. DePaul is an area of multi million dollar homes. It’s tough to have fun without a few extra bucks in your pocket.