<p>I am starting college this fall, and I completely regret choosing the college I'm going to. There was another college I got accepted to and I feel terrible that I didn't choose to go there instead. The college I'm going to just seems too big and overwhelming, with lots of the types of people that I don't want to be surrounded with, and lots of drinkers.</p>
<p>How do I live with the fact that I chose a school that I completely regret choosing?</p>
<p>Transfer out the earliest you can.</p>
<p>where are you going?</p>
<p>You chose that school for a reason, focus on those good aspects you chose it for, ignore the negatives that you perceive of it.</p>
<p>I have regret pangs occasionally about my choice, but ultimately I know i chose right. Go into school this fall excited and ready to embrace it. You’ll probably end up loving it, and if not only then should you start to consider transfering.</p>
<p>The biggest thing is to not go in thinking of it as temporary and wanting to transfer. If you focus on the negatives you won’t have given your school a fair chance. I hope this helps, good luck this fall!</p>
<p>‘Buyer’s regret’ is a cliche. Don’t second guess yourself. Of course it feels ‘too big and overwhelming’ at this point. If it were feeling comfortable and familiar, you’d have a lot more reason to worry - no one should arrive in the fall of freshman year feeling like they have it all figured out. If they do, they will be bored silly by second year.</p>
<p>Focus instead on finding the clubs and ECs you want to check out, review the course catalog and rate my prof . com to figure out who the awesome profs are, read up on all the special programs that you need to have pre-recs done for so you can apply, check out the study abroad option and which profs are doing research in areas that you care about: In short, get excited. If you are really worried about lots of drinkers, look for a sub-free housing option. Figure out what the ‘new you’ is like: will you be going to the gym every day, trying out a vegetarian diet, taking up a new sport? I personally know 4 people (all women, interestingly) who decided to change their first names when they started college. This is a time to experiment. Embrace it and don’t think about transferring until you’ve given it a full year. And remind yourself periodically that first semester is often a lonely time: it’s reasonable to be homesick and freshman have a tendency to posture in the first months until they get their bearings and self-confidence back, so don’t judge people too quickly. Four years passes really fast and you’ll be wondering where the time went.</p>
<p>It’s about changing how you view your college.
Instead of overwhelming, think of it as the opportunity to try everything you are interested in and even change things about yourself.
As you get acclimated to school, you will close in your circle of friends, interests, and how you spend your time.
By the end of your freshman year, you’ll wonder why you were stressed out.</p>
<p>Don’t judge the school before you actually attend, go in with an objective perspective not other people’s opinions.
If you still don’t like the school then transfer out, but what makes me think that the other school doesn’t have the same problems?</p>
<p>The school doesn’t only have one group of people, you’ll probably find your niche.</p>
<p>In a big school it’s easy to find a whole GROUP of people to hang out with. Don’t worry: that’s the beauty of big schools - lots of options.</p>
<p>Have you been in contact with your roommate yet (if you have one). Registered for classes? Start getting involved…look at the various groups you might want to join. Look for positives, no negatives. Change is hard…dive in and see how you like it. Like other posters have said, the other college you said no too may not be the “one”. If after the fall you don’t like it, look into transferring.</p>
<p>It might seem trite, but college is what you make of it. You can do really well at the one you are going to, just like you can do really well at the one you wish you had chosen instead. Of course, you can also do horribly at either one also.
Like another reply said, it is just buyers remorse; we all feel that at times. You just have to stop second guessing yourself after it is too late to do anything about it, and make the best of it.</p>
<p>Your choices right now are:</p>
<p>1) Go to the college that you have committed to, and give it a chance for at least one semester.</p>
<p>2) Contact that college and defer enrollment for a semester or a year, and find a solid gap-year activity to occupy your mind while you re-consider enrolling there or applying elsewhere.</p>
<p>3) Contact the other places where you were accepted, and ask if they still have room for the fall. If one that you like better (and can afford) will take you, then contact the first place and tell them that you won’t be coming.</p>
<p>Is this now your 3rd decision about which college to attend? Back in April you wrote
So</a> I’m just wondering if we understand the story right: when decisions first came out you sent in a deposit, then in late April found out another college was “the right school for me, fit and everything”, and now in July that college is no longer right and you want to go change your mind yet again?</p>
<p>Well mikemac, are you going to look down upon me if I say yes? I had a hell of a time trying to decide on a college because I had no idea what I wanted in terms of size and location, and both the first school I sent my deposit in to and the school I’m going to are “big and overwhelming” anyway. Now I’m starting to regret that I didn’t choose a small LAC instead, because my main choices were big universities in big cities versus small liberal arts colleges in medium-sized or small towns. I guess I overanalyze things a lot and have trouble making clear decisions, but I would hope this doesn’t make me a terrible person…</p>
<p>It doesn’t make you a terrible person. But it seems you are aware of your tendency to overanalyze things. Because of your analytical nature, you must have had good reasons for choosing the school you did. Go with it and if after you freshman year you feel differently then re-evaluate.</p>
<p>
No, not at all, but its important you realize this about yourself and employ an appropriate type self-talk to challenge your worries. This worry & regret is just the way some people are; maybe its changeable to some degree, especially when you’re only 18, but thats a different conversation.</p>
<p>The point is that no matter what you decide, I think you’re bound to have regrets and worries because of your nature. Even if you could snap your fingers and instantly be switched into a student going to the LAC, I’d bet when you face some disappointments and adversity there (and everyone will – nobody goes to college and has a 100% perfect experience in every way and form) you’d be posting that if you had just stayed at Large U you’d have more choices for friends, for classes, clubs to join, places to live, more opportunities for internships, etc. And no matter where you end up you can still worry that you didn’t pick the right major, or sign up for the best profs, etc. The point is there will always be something to worry about, especially if you make a habit of dwellling on it.</p>
<p>I suggest that you look into some of the books about cognitive therapy as a way to challenge some of the self talk; when you say “I guess I overanalyze things a lot” they call that ruminating in the jargon, and its one of the things that makes people unhappy. And look at the words you choose; a few weeks ago this school was “the right school for me, fit and everything” and today you “completely regret choosing the college I’m going to”. Its not just that you’ve shifted your opinion and the minuses now outweigh the pluses, its as if the thoughts you had before have completely disappeared and you don’t seem able to recall any good things about this school – which is a mirror image of how you felt back then about the swap, when again you were seeing things in black-and-white.</p>
<p>Talking to a counselor once you get to college (often free for some number of visits) might be helpful, too. Not that you have an illness or anything, as if some random person on the internet could tell anyway, but people fall on a continuum on how they interpret and react to change and decisions. Some are blase, which probably isn’t that great either, and some fall on the continuum where they continually analyze things and drain the joy from it.</p>
<p>definitely don’t transfer out just yet. i chose a large university, sometimes overwhelming, but i think you can definitely be happy anywhere if you make the right kind of effort. and i’m as shy as they come so i’m sure you’ll have no problem :)</p>