Is anyone else afraid that they picked the wrong college? All my friends seem so excited about their selection. I’m a mess. I am afraid I made a terrible, terrible mistake. Anyone else feeling like they messed up?
Remind yourself of why you picked your school in the first place and don’t freak out until you’ve given it a chance. Join a club or two, don’t freak out about making friends the first week, and go to campus events. If you hate it, you can always transfer. This is the first big decision of your adult life; it’s normal to question it. Unless you have quite a few strong, objective reasons to change your mind, just go with it.
Is there a concrete reason you’re so worried-- it it about finances or something in particular?
If not, then go to the Facebook page, and find the link to the Class of 2022 group. Start to meet your future classmates. Find a roommate. Chat with other kids who are so very excited to be attending that school. Their excitement may be contagious.
Having doubts is fairly common among students - even if they act excited among friends there is often (not always) a lingering doubt. The good news is the vast majority love their school once they get there and start getting active.
One of the only exceptions is when a student takes on high debt (not typical federal debt, but debt approaching 6 figures between them and parents), so if that’s the reason you’re concerned, it could be worth it to reconsider as much as you can at this point.
A few others who didn’t like their choices had picked a wrong fit - usually very urban or very rural or once in a while very undermatched (academically) or very Greek and disliking it. In those cases, most kids transferred later. (Those who didn’t that come to mind never did like their experience.)
But the vast majority with doubts come back the next year telling me all about how they love their school.
This was me when I first started college. I didn’t get into my top choice in school, my parents made me apply for a major that I was sure I’d despise (business) and overall, I was just unenthusiastic although I tried to be happy. But listen, give your school a chance. TRY to like it, try to find the positives there and give it a chance. You may find that you actually like it, especially when you start meeting people, joining clubs, etc.
BUT just know that transferring is also an option. There is this stigma around transferring but trust me, a lot of people do it - I DID. I gave the university a shot, and I didn’t like it and I felt that I could do better so I decided to apply for transfer. I got accepted into Northwestern for sophomore year and was ECSTATIC. That’s when you know that the college is for you. Of course, transfer also is a bit of work with having to start the application process all over again and making sure your grades are as close to 4.0 as possible, but if it means a happier and better college experience, it’s worth it.
Remember, 4 years of hating your home is a damn long time - a miserable one at that. So give your school a chance, reevaluate how you feel then, and if you still don’t like it - whatever the reason, applying for transfer is always an option.
Good Luck!
Give it a shot. If you hate it, transfer after a year. That’s what I did.
Yes, what you are feeling is actually much more the norm than an outlier. Many other students, including those at your school, are feeling the same thing. You’ll be moving to a new place with new people. You’ll learn a lot about the new environment and meet lots of people. That can be daunting. Just approach it with a positive attitude and curiosity and a willingness to be open to new people and new things. Be resilient, meet new challenges with a forward-looking attitude. Then, it will be very likely that by the end of fall you’ll have many new friends and will have learned a lot and will love your new school, and it will feel like home. Good luck!
What you are feeling is very normal. It can seem (especially on social media) that some people are 100% happy with their choices and never experience doubt. But what I have found is that those types seek out every way to buy into that choice. They will wear school gear, post their school logo all over their social media accounts, will join FB groups for their school, and generally will focus on how great their time will be. The more they do this the less doubts they have. If you throw yourself into a mindset of positivity that helps.
However, if you go and hate it you can always transfer. It’s good to remember that sometimes your experience is up to you. I have a cousin who transferred 3 times. She started out at one school and hated it so school #2 was going to be so wonderful compared to school #1. But then #2 was awful so #3 was going to be the answer. I know this is an extreme example but sometimes mentally buying in is the best way to have a good experience in colelge.
This is totally normal! My D1 loves her school but she had serious doubts at first. The thing is, I doubt her friends would have known that because in front of everyone else, she appeared to be just as excited and eager as they were. I guarantee you that many of your friends are doing the same thing. Don’t judge your inner feelings by the outward appearances that others put on.
Also, remember that this is not a life sentance. Give it your best shot and if you truyly hate it, you have options.