An issue we had completing one of my S’s college applications has me looking ahead to financial aid forms and wondering what I should do given a similar situation/questions.
I’m the mom, divorced, with sole custody. We’re all on “friendly” terms but contact is very infrequent. That’s been ex’s choice. He’s never paid child support. We’re not expecting any type of support toward college (or involvement, for that matter.)
One of the applications gave my S a choice of selecting whether the 2nd parent was “alive” or “deceased”, and if alive, required the parent’s email address and cell phone number. My S came to me because he didn’t know what to enter. I ended up putting in my information for email/cell with an explanation elsewhere that the ex’s current contact info is unknown.
I found the whole thing odd, but it’s making me wonder if I’m going to have an issue with financial aid forms. With sole custody and no child support to report, I haven’t needed my ex’s cooperation for anything legal (e.g. passports, travel, school enrollment, etc.) I was assuming that college and financial aid would be the same… am I wrong?
For FAFSA only schools you will not need to provide your ex’s information for financial aid. Some CSS Profile schools, or schools that use their own form for institutional aid, your ex may be required to complete non-custodial parent paperwork, and his finances could be considered.
I tried the FAFSA “estimator” and estimated aid is zero. I just don’t understand how my ex’s finances can be required when he hasn’t contributed to my S’s life in 16 years. He won’t fill out any forms, that’s for sure.
The FAFSA is used mostly to determine eligibility for federal, and sometimes state aid. Only the custodial parent information is required.
CSS is used by schools to determine eligibility for school aid. For schools which require non-custodial parent information you may be able to request a non-custodial parent waiver so your ex’s income and assets are not considered, but it will be up to each school.
Some schools aren’t going to view it as any different from a student whose parents are married and refuse to fill out paperwork and/ or contribute to the costs.
Yes, but for students who have been living independently without parental financial support for a time period can, in fact, not include their financial information. This is really the case with one of the parents here.
@KatMT, I’ll ask about waivers if I run into this, thanks.
Actually…a student under 24 living and supporting themselves does NOT make them independent for financial aid in most cases. Parent information is still required.
For the FAFSA, you would only include your information as the custodial parent…not the ex husband’s.
But some colleges require the Profile or their own financial aid form. In many cases the non-custodial parent info is provided via the non-custodial parent form.
You have contact with the dad. You know where he is. I’m not sure there is a basis for a waiver. Sadly, there are many parents who are not in contact with their kids. But when college financial time comes, the info from these oarents is still required.
The FAFSA estimator is a very general tool, and does not give you information about what kind of aid might be available from a particular college. For every school your S is applying to, you should go to the school financial aid website and find the information for applicants.
There should be a list of exactly what forms are required and the dates they are due. At least for the colleges I’ve looked at, it will say if the PROFILE non custodial parent form is required. Some schools may have their own non-custodial form, but that should be listed if needed. The due dates are almost always earlier than first-time college parents expect. It takes some organization and planning in December and January to have all the info ready to go to file the tax return and forms by the due dates.
Each school should have a net price calculator. That will give you more info about the aid from that particular school. These may not be accurate if the school requires non custodial parent info, or if you have income from sources such as a small business or rental property. They may not include merit scholarships, so look for that info on the school’s website.
There are many threads on CC about non custodial parent issues and waivers. You might search for some of those to find out what documentation is required. Or perhaps a CC’er with more expertise on that will respond.
I’ve gone through the NPC on most of the schools he’s applying to and, so far, I haven’t been asked for ex’s info. They have focused on my “household”, for which the answers are straightforward. This is why I was surprised by the one application.
NPCs do not ask for ex’s info. Don’t use THAT as a predictor. NPCs only use the child’s household info.
Many NPCs will have a notation that their calculators don’t work for divorced parents or for those with businesses or business deductions.
What schools are on your son’s list?
Nearly all the top schools that give the BEST aid will ask for NCP info. They believe that parents (both) are expected to pay. You can request a waiver, and it may or may not be granted. Some schools won’t grant them, some will if proof that the NCP is truly out of the child’s life.
I don’t know what kid under 24 that you know that “lived independently” and didn’t need to use his parents’ info. If he was married, a vet, or at one point a foster child/emancipated, then he would be independent. Otherwise, federal guidelines require parents info.
I tried the FAFSA "estimator" and estimated aid is zero.
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So your income is high enough that you don’t qualify for aid? If so, why are you bothering with any of this. You’re not required to apply for aid…so don’t.
I thought FAFSA was for federal aid/grants only but that schools may have their own. Am I wrong? The numbers I get from NPC’s vary wildly, presumably because some take grades and test scores into account and are estimating merit scholarships as well? The NPC’s that don’t ask about grades/test scores come out with zero aid. I’m guessing my income is too high for strictly financial aid.
The issue with my ex is very unlikely to be about his income pushing us out of financial aid. My concern is whether I can get him to fill out anything, and I have absolutely nothing to go on if I were to estimate his numbers.
My S is applying to music schools/conservatories, so there seems to be various levels of aid/scholarships. I guess I was assuming that I would just be filling out all the forms…
They can’t make the rules for each individual applicant, so cover all the circumstances with a blanket “we require financial information from the parents”. One ex pays only because of a court order and another pays willingly. Treat them the same or differently? Court order to pay stops on 18th birthday - does that parent have to fill out the forms or not? Yes, the CSS requires the information for both parents. There are waivers for some circumstances, but it is the responsibility of student to apply for the waiver and most schools are pretty strict on the reasons they will be granted. Claiming the ex never supported the child is usually not a good enough reason. The FAFSA is for government aid (some states use it too, and even some schools use it for their own aid). Only the parent(s) the child lives with must prove the information, including step parents who may not want to pay for college either.
It sounds like the application that required the information for ‘all’ parents will be looking to that ex for financial contribution.
Some of the NPC do calculate in any automatic merit aid while others don’t. Merit aid usually doesn’t factor in financial need, but schools do what they want to do and consider what they want to consider. If a CSS is required, it is likely that school is going to want that non-custodial information.
Since you don’t qualify for need-based aid, and are looking for merit/talent scholarships, then you need to look at each schools’ website to see if FA forms need to be completed.
Most schools do NOT require FA forms for merit/talent consideration. Many don’t care about income…they’re rewarding talent. Check with each school.
My kids have received many scholarship offers…we’ve NEVER filled out FAFSA…ever.
Schools typically use the federal guidelines for determining whether a student is independent for FA purposes…however, some schools are EVEN more strict…some don’t care if you are 24, they’ll still demand parent info.
If you’re asking for institutional funds, then they have a right to demand whatever they want.
Again, since you only really want merit aid, look at what the schools’ are asking.
Merit money comes from a “different pot”. FA is awarded thru the FA office. Scholarship money is awarded thru either Admissions office or the dept-major office (in your case, the conservatory dept).
Ditto. If you won’t qualify for financial aid, don’t apply for it and your ex doesn’t need to do anything.
If you are looking at schools like Amherst or Harvard where financial aid can be available for incomes north of $200K, and you’d like to apply for aid there, then his info will be required, or a waiver (but I agree the waiver doesn’t sound doable).
(I have an S’12 and a D’15 and an uninvolved ex…been there, done that).
I guess I considered it more than (or different from) “uninvolved.” We lived outside of this country when we were married and I moved back with my S when we separated. I filed for divorce here but he never answered the court, never signed any papers, never paid the court-ordered child support. He has dual citizenship and holds a U.S. passport but doesn’t consider himself American. I heard that he’d moved to the U.S. and remarried but know very little about where he lives and does beyond what state he’s in. My son has seen him once in the last 8 years or so, hardly what you would call ‘in contact’.
Still, I appreciate the info. I have some time, so I’m going to try to contact him and get him to cooperate. A friend just reminded me that I hold a lot of ammunition at this point since there’s a lot of unpaid support I can remind him about…
My ex did finally agree to do the FA paperwork because our D let him know how important it was to her. But we (D and I) were ready with a strategy for paying for college if he didn’t respond. She had two full tuition merit options, a couple of private schools that didn’t require his info, we were ready to try the NCP waiver route if necessary, etc.
I’m very glad that wasn’t necessary but I admit I sweat a little still because he has to do the form each year - 3 more times.
You very well might be able to get a waiver if it comes to it. My D’s GC was prepared to say she’d never seen him, I had evidence he hadn’t paid child support or responded to the divorce filing, etc. You might want to begin gathering those kinds of things just in case.
OP- seems to me that the prospect of having his wages garnished for the unpaid child support is a pretty good motivator for him to cooperate. Good for you for getting your ducks in a row early in the game.
Not clear if the divorce was entered by default - but if not, you could also “remind” him that he’s still married to you and thus not really remarried …
^^but that isn’t true. The divorce was final according to what the OP posted. If they aren’t divorced, then there are more problems than financial aid.