<p>For the longest time I had it set in my mind that I would definitely be a music composition major, or a double major in music. However, this year I took AP Music Theory, and although I got a 5 I was absolutely terrible at melodic dictation. I started to get discouraged and I feel like I can't compete with some of the absolute geniuses that I'll be competing against during and even after the application process. </p>
<p>People do tell me they love my music though, but I often think they say that out of ignorance. My dream is to be a film scorer or a screen writer and write novels as a hobby, so I'm sure I don't want to go to a conservatory. I'm just not sure if I should get a major in music or not because I don't know if I'm good enough to get a job/achieve my dream. I do have an interest in other things like journalism, languages (I'd study foreign affairs and diplomacy I guess), and astrophysics/theoretical physics, and I think I could be happy in one of those. </p>
<p>Anyone else ever feel like this? What decision did you end up with?</p>
<p>If you become a music major, there are classes to teach you the aural part you learned about in AP Music Theory (sight-singing and dictation). In my experience, the classes go at a much slower pace than AP Music Theory.
You’ve found your musical weak spot; now you have a choice to make. Is it worth it to you to take the courses and spend the extra time, or would you rather do something else?
By the way, your music is beautiful, and I say that as a music major who’s friends with composition majors!</p>
<p>You will never know if you can achieve your dream unless you try. I don’t think that I would close the door right now. Don’t let the difficulty of melodic dictation in AP Music Theory discourage you. While certainly strong skills in being able to write what you hear will make the compositional process much easier, you can develop your skills in this area–after all that is what education is for. Ultimately, a composer is a creator of music, not merely a scribe of it. Apply for some good programs in composition–if you are accepted that you have evidence that some experts think that you have the ability to learn in that area. If you are accepted and decide after a year or two that you want to pursue other things, then most of your courses will probably count towards your degree anyways (courses related to composition tend to be more usable than some courses related to performance–for example, applied study of an instrument is often only usable as credit towards a music major, whereas music theory classes can usually be used as electives towards any type of undergraduate degree). </p>
<p>With the breadth of interests you have, a stand-alone conservatory might not be the best fit for you (as you have written). You might want to consider a liberal arts college like Bard–all music majors have to take another major and the environment is intellectually stimulating. Admission to composition there is very competitive, but if your talents are as broad as your interests, then you may be an attractive applicant.</p>
<p>You ask if anyone else ever feels like they might not be good enough to get a job/achieve their dream. Certainly, I think almost every music student has these questions on a fairly regular basis. There will always be those who are stronger than you in some areas–ultimately, those who succeed are those who have the discipline and passion to persevere.</p>
<p>To add to what clarinette52 wrote: You might be surprised at how much your aural skills will improve when you are immersed in music at college and take a series of courses specifically and systematically designed to develop your ear. </p>
<p>It can be discouraging to see others who either have perfect pitch or superb relative pitch instantly get all their melodic dictation correct (I was like you and had to work at it; my son handled very difficult atonal dictation almost instantly; he tested out of the first two university aural musicianship courses; then he found the harmonic dictation in the third course “impossible”–however, he has stuck it out and worked hard at it and is now at or near the top of the class). </p>
<p>When you observe others for whom aural skills come so easily and naturally, you assume that it is a “either you have it or you don’t” phenomenon, when in reality it is like everything else: you can learn and develop in the area.</p>
<p>I suppose you’re right that the aural will come with practice. Although I didn’t do well on melodic dictation I did do very well on harmonic dictation.</p>
<p>What worries me more I guess is my musical memory. For some reason it just disappeared in 9th grade and I don’t know why. I used to be able to remember an 8 minute piece exactly as it was played after one listen, but starting in 9th grade I suddenly had trouble remembering the simplest melodic dictation exercise. I really have no idea the cause, maybe stress. I’m not sure, but it’s quite distressing.</p>
<p>And thanks for the nice words about my music :)</p>
<p>I wouldn’t let that spook you, someone good at musical dictation may not be a genius, if the examples are done in an easy manner a kid with PP could blow through those, then have major problems with other things and not be a very good composer. I have seen a number of really talented instrumentalists who struggle through things like dictation or especially in solfege (ear training); a kid with PP who blows through dictation can run into major problems with solfege because that relies on relative pitch and if the teacher recognizes a kid has PP, they can give them examples where they can’t rely on their PP to resolve it, they have to think it through, something someone without PP has had to do all along…in other words, some things come easier to students then others. </p>
<p>In other words, perception is not necessarily reality:)</p>
<p>Competition in the world of classical composition either for admission to programs, or for fame and fortune - has little to do with how well you do with melodic dictation and everything to do with your musical ideas and ability to express them.</p>
<p>It won’t be because of your prowess on a theory test that you are, or are not, admitted as a composition student. And, if it were, is that really where you would want to be studying composition?</p>
<p>Do you have a composition teacher? If not, then it might help your confidence to find one, or find someone at a nearby college or conservatory or music prep. program to listen to your music and give you ideas on where to apply.</p>
<p>The only other point not covered yet is that you do not have to have a career in music if you major in music. People can major in all kinds of things (English, music, art history, whatever) and then go on to work or study in entirely different fields. In fact, the group with the highest rate of admission to medical schools is music majors.</p>
<p>If you love composing, you will find a school that lets you pursue those studies along with whatever else you are interested in, either as a music major or a major in something else who participates in music classes and activities. You can also study privately and do your composing outside of formal schooling. Or double major. Lots of ways to go.</p>
<p>But build your confidence by consulting with someone whose opinions and advice you will respect. Good luck!</p>
<p>OP, sometimes when people say conservatory they mean “like Julliard” and other times they mean “A school of music offering BMUS.” I listened to some of your work and enjoyed it. You also appear, like my son, to enjoy a wide variety of genres. So my advice about what types of education to be open to is both biased and informed by that fact.</p>
<p>If you meant you don’t think you should pursue a BMUS degree or attend a “school of music”, you may wish to reconsider placing that kind of restriction on your opportunities to be performed, which I feel might be stronger at a school of music than <em>some</em> general BA programs (although many might disagree, and in the end, it will be about what kind of opportunities you create for yourself to BE performed…) So, given your seriousness about multiple disciplines, let me give you a couple of examples of large schools and how someone with your interest and skill might make use of your time there:
University of Michigan SOM, Indiana U. Jacobs SOM – each have dedicated traditional composition programs where you’re likely to be performed. Each have classes, in addition, geared to contemporary/popular/technological work (eg. sequencing, electronic composition, digital sampling, MaxMSP – things similar to techniques you’re using in some of your work now) as well. Each have strong film or telecommunications programs where you could take electives in that discipline. In the case of UMich, it has one of best Creative Writing MFAs in the nation – as does Iowa, which is another university that offers composition. At Michigan, you can also take an elective in film scoring specifically, and it has a strong “Performing Arts Technology/Music” degree as well, from which composition majors like to take courses.</p>
<p>I am not especially familiar with all the other schools where this type of “integration” might be possible, as my son attends UMich. So others might be able to give you better specific direction on other schools, such as Northwestern, Oberlin, the east coast schools, etc. In the case of Northwestern, their school of communications is highly successful. I believe Oberlin also has an available film studies degree and is a great school. So while it might take you more than 4 years, there are lots of places you can pursue your dreams.</p>
<p>But you’ve gotta play to win That means stop worry about the competition and BE the competition – admissions are unpredictable, and externally un-quantifiable. Apply to as many “FIT” programs as you are able to and let the outcome determine for you whether you need to seek a different path. Co-apply to film/writing programs at the same schools to which you apply for composition. Good luck and don’t stress. The universe has a way of looking after us all (usually in hindsight ;)</p>
That means stop worry about the competition and BE the competition – admissions are unpredictable, and externally un-quantifiable. Apply to as many “FIT” programs as you are able to and let the outcome determine for you whether you need to seek a different path. Co-apply to film/writing programs at the same schools to which you apply for composition. Good luck and don’t stress. The universe has a way of looking after us all (usually in hindsight ;)</p>