I’m wondering what concerns do freshman parents have about their son or daughter’s first two years? Do you worry about your child being safe, making good choices, or more towards the academic side?
Are you a parent? Or the student?
We didn’t worry. We hoped we had given our kids a good upbringing, and the ability to make good decisions and do well.
I miss my kids but I didn’t really worry about them going away to school.
Worried, especially at first since kid was younger than most. He did get up on his own in the dorm despite never hearing the alarm at home etc. He liked his classes and was motivated to do well compared to slipping grades as a HS senior (bored). Had no qualms about his age, just the alarm thing.
You need to trust your kid. S/he is where they want to be and is prepared for the independence and rigors of their particular school. I was actually proud of my kid as he finished his college career and made good for him decisions. Not as pleased with all of the grades if he had told them to me after the first two years but he did the Honors degree so he did okay.
There were some times I did worry because of lack of communication to know he is still alive/well- a simple response would have sufficed. Still lacks that skill years later, sigh.
I was more worried this summer before she left. The anticipation was much worse than the reality. She communicates with me regularly which helps me miss her less, she’s doing great academically and socially, and is really happy at school. My husband and I high five often on a job well done ; )
I was most worried he would party more than he would study, that he might not make good choices if he joined a fraternity, and that he would have trouble finding a person to study with like his hs gf. He had been pretty wild his junior year of hs but had turned it around his senior year. Turns out he did join a fraternity and did very well in his decisions. He is running for President now. He had a 4.0 so grades are great! He found a wonderful pre-med gf his second week of school that compliments him and levels him! Do really there was nothing to worry about.
We had different concerns for the two kids. For number 1 we had no doubt about his ability to handle the curriculum, but were a bit concerned about how he’d adjust to dorm life. We didn’t know how he would handle choosing a major but basically he followed my advice. It turned out very well. He also figured out that he could take advantage of living IN Chicago, not just being AT UChicago. He made it a point to get well off campus at least once per week. And he took our suggestion that he spend a year abroad.
Our number 2 ran a little wild during summer before freshman year. Arrived at school less well rested than she needed to be for what is a very demanding curriculum (RISD). Then she was diagnosed with mononucleosis, so had to cut back her course load for the first year. That meant she had to spend an additional summer after graduation to finish her program. We weren’t concerned that she could handle the courses and curriculum itself. She was actually given a special award at graduation for her commitment to ecological design, which she reinforced by taking elective courses at Brown.
I tend to worry about exterior forces… being in the wrong place at the wrong time type of things, accidents, predatory people. It doesn’t consume me but I’d be lying if I didn’t have moments.
I was somewhat concerned about my son’s transition from project-based school that didn’t use textbooks to a competitive LAC but hasn’t been an issue.
Each child is unique with different concerns. For oldest it was health issues. It took pneumonia, mono, strep and a concussion first semester for student health to take her seriously. She learned to advocate, but it was a process.
For middle child it’s executive functioning issues: stopping a project that is a preferred task to complete another course’s mundane writing assignment or going through all the steps to register for classes.
I didn’t worry about the typical academic or social adjustment because they were open to sharing about new friends and exam experiences. Some of the best conversations freshman year solidified that they had chosen a great fit - school and major. Makes paying a bit less painful.
My D is a first year and my worries have been over committing to activities outside the classroom. She wants to do everything and my thought was she should focus on academics first semester and build from there. However, I have realized her college ECs are very important b/c it’s where she’s finding her people and building her social network, leading her to be engaged and happy. Shuttling between class, dorm and library is not the path to successful college adjustment.
Plus, I realized if athletes can devote hours every days to their sport (it’s a LAC so 25% are athletes), she should be okay devoting big chunks of time to her ECs.
I’m still the little voice on her shoulder that asks how she’s managing everything, but so far it seems fine.
Serious chronic health issues for one. It took awhile for the college to get it. There were times when her life was literally in danger and I slept on her floor. She is now fully independent and in grad school 3,000 miles away.
Bipolar 1 and ADHD for another, who ultimately left and found a better way to do college p/t while working.
Even with significant challenges, they tend to evolve toward independence and competence!
“He found a wonderful pre-med gf his second week of school that compliments him and levels him!”
Is it better to have a bf/gf that “compliments” you or one that “complements” you? I only ever had the latter 
My general view is that I tried my best to raise a good kid, and certain things are out of my control, so I let my kid be and decide on his own. Having said that, as long as he does not abandon good habits such as exercising when he can, eat regularly at set times and get enough sleep during college years, that’s all I care about. I generally don’t care whether he gets B or As in classes. I never have, since I myself turned out fine (I think) with 2.9 GPA from high school to graduate school. I do care though that he learn some things in college. I already decided that I rather he graduate with 3.3 GPA, having taken a variety of classes, rather than with 3.8, having taken only the classes in which he excels.
At first, before the school started, my worries and concerns were all about getting decent grades for a pre-med son at a school that’s known for tough academic standards and grading.
Then, as the school started, the worry turned to maintaining good health as so many reports of students getting sick during the seasonal weather fluctuations.
Now, after being on the out of control charter bus (brake failure) that crashed on the way to a football game along with dozens of his fellow students the other day, I’m now worried at a much different level, especially given the statement by the acting dean of the school that said the school’s going to continue using the same bus company with no mention of mechanical inspections or any other evaluation of the company. This nearly tragic incident put all the previous worries of mine into proper places.
My daughter is a freshman this semester and I haven’t a lot of time worrying about her. The only thing that concerns me is that she is in marching band and it takes up a lot of her extra time. She is very busy; too busy to get into any kind of trouble.
Are you asking because you have concerns about YOUR soon to be college freshman? Or what?
No serious worries. D1 was ready. But since she’d been at an all girls hs, I did wonder how she’d, um, navigate the buffet of social opportunities with the guys. It worked out.
No worries about D1 when she went. D2 picked a very tough school academically and didn’t have strong organization skills (due to a LD). I held my breath for some time (but I held my breath when she went to kindergarten, too). There were bumps both times, but she succeeded at both. 
All our worries were focused on the 3-day backpacking orientation he did at the start of freshman year. He had a specific medical condition that would make the trip especially challenging. Once he returned safe and happy from the trip, my spouse and I breathed a sigh of relief and figured he would manage the rest of college just fine!
In answer to the OP’s question, though, I guess we think more about the social end. We just want him to be really, really happy. We trust both his academic and social judgement and skills 100%, so that is not an issue. But we hoped he would find friends quickly and feel connected and not lonely. To our joy, he sounds so happy in his phone calls and has made many friends.
With S17, I worried about academics, He’s dyslexic, dysgraphic and dyscalculic and, although he was eligible for academic supports at college, I worried that he wouldn’t avail himself of them. Fortunately, that didn’t occur and, even more fortunately, he has made a practice of brainstorming with me for ideas as to accommodations he might need for any particular classes. I didn’t really worry about his adjusting to dorm life or having a roommate since he is the youngest of 5 and had always shared a room at home. D, who had been an RA at her school and is 8 years ahead, took it on herself to teach him all about living in a dorm, which was helpful for me since I attended a commuter school. I also didn’t worry about him socially since he was in a theater program and his cohort gave him an exceptional way of meeting people.