<p>Health, safety, academic success. what else?</p>
<p>graduation--and getting a job after. . .</p>
<p>formation of a humane and scholarly soul; set them up to be lifelong learners</p>
<p>meet others who value education as the top priority</p>
<p>widen their cultural lens </p>
<p>emerge as a young adult ready to make many more choices</p>
<p>be happy</p>
<p>paying3tuitions - that was pretty wonderful and I agree completely</p>
<p>My only concern, in the sense of "worry" was an incompatible roommate. That didn't happen, so I am quite carefree. The rest will take care of itself.</p>
<p>A positive experience. Good classes and advising. That he will feel he is in the right place and make friends and not get depressed. That he will transition well into being on his own and mature and make good decisions. That he will take advantage of opportunities available and figure out what he wants to do with his life with a minimum of angst. That he will be healthy and stay healty. That he will thrive and that he will stay in touch with us and his siblings.</p>
<p>All of the above are on the worry list. </p>
<p>When S was in kindergarten, the teacher asked "what do you want your child to get out of my class". My answer now is the same as it was then "I want him to love learning,and I want him to enjoy going to school."</p>
<p>paying3tuitions and mimk6! Beautifully said. My sentiments exactly.</p>
<p>One thing that a parent finds out when a kid goes off to college--are the standards of behavior that the parents tried to teach when the kid was at home the ones that the kid espouses once he or she goes off to college unfettered?</p>
<p>As a parent, you cross your fingers and hold your breath.</p>
<p>My spouse and I should have had a more realistic understanding of the stress of going away to college. It has been so many years since we left home, and it was such a different world then, that we just didn't think it through. We have been blind-sided by our daughter's mental illness and our lack of knowledge about how to help her since she is a legal adult and in the care of a college that leans very heavily in the direction of "it's her right to self-destruct in private as long as she doesn't act out in public." I think the laws are wrong...parents should have more of a say if their children aren't self-supporting adults. But...that's not the reality that we are dealing with.
18 is a marker age when many mental illnesses appear. Even if you sending a smart, amazing, high-achieving child off to college...it could happen to you.</p>
<p>When I was in college I saw a lot of kids that were troubled and had problems adjusting. In some cases it was pretty severe. I always wondered how much their parents knew about what was happening to them and how they would feel if they did know. I have always hoped that those kinds of things would not be issues I'd have to deal with as a college parent. So far so good, and I am grateful. I'm still very sympathetic for those that do however.</p>
<p>Parents concern: That to a certain extent, we will be forgotten.</p>
<p>Parents desire: That to a certain extent, we will be forgotten.</p>
<p>Bob Smith, my heart goes out to your family. You are right, 18 is a marker age for many mental illnesses. The stresses of college are a factor. I admit to having this concern in the back of my mind when my daughter left for school. I hope that you will be able to get the support you need to deal with this.</p>
<p>Bob (in response to your other post)
I don't understand why her local physician does not call the college Dean, or MD. If child is of danger to herself, she can be held in a hospital for 72 hours for an evaluation. With documented proof of extreme, harmful bx, there is a duty to inform local professional.</p>
<p>ditto to what mim6 said</p>
<p>the college has been told all of this in a four-page letter. my daughter is not acting out of control. she can sit and have a coherent discussion for a short period of time. she can even smile and laugh. i have been told that it can be difficult to diagnose someone in a manic episode. she does feel well...even though she isnt.
in california, she has to be an "immediate" threat to herself or others to be taken in for observation by law enforcement.
i am shocked by the college's response. my daughter is a ticking time bomb and they won't do anything until she explodes...they claim it's the law. none of the health professionals whom I have consulted agree. that's why i started the thread about other people's experiences.</p>
<p>Truthfully, we had few worries about either of our kids as college students. Our TOP CONCERN was how we were going to pay the bills.</p>
<p>Thumper1, I'm with you!!</p>
<p>Be happy
Miss us, but not too much
Not be overwhelmed with work
Be healthy
Have friends.</p>
<p>Be happy and have fun.
Find the correct balance between school work and social life.
Meet lots of other college kids and be socially active.
Learn to appreciate all of the oportunities available.
Miss us, but not too much. Remember to keep in touch.
And most importantly, remember it is a 4 year experience....</p>
<p>Be happy
Stay healthy
Have friends
Enjoy learning and survive academically
Take advantage of new opportunities
Clarify goals and life direction
Contribute</p>