Confused as to what I should do

Parents Forum
1

<p>Hello parents,</p>

<p>I've posted here before when I've found myself in a difficult position, and once again I have a tough decision to make (Some of you may remember me as the kid who had not chosen between HPMS with 20 minutes to the admissions deadline). The backstory is rather long, but I'll try my best to be concise.</p>

<p>Almost a year ago, in September 2006, I suffered a mild concussion during a football game. I stopped playing football after that, and for the first few days after the accident, things were fine. However, I continued to do my schoolwork at full throttle (I was under tremendous stress, trying to keep up with my heavy senior year courseload as well as apply to colleges), and about five days after the concussion, I stayed up till 3 AM one night writing an English paper.</p>

<p>If I had known what I know now, that concussions require rest from excessive intellectual or physical exertion, then I would never have killed myself for my schoolwork. As it is, though, the day after (after getting four hours of sleep) I had the worst headache ever, and in the weeks and months that followed, I found that I still experienced symptoms from the concussion. never quite regained the mental acuity that I had before the incident, and this was especially visible in my humanities classes, where analyzing literature/forming arguments was more difficult and more time-consuming. While I had previously been one of the strongest contributers in my advanced level English courses, I was now effectively a mute during class. The analogy I like to use is that if literature is "dissected", then my scalpel had been blunted. Oddly enough, I found that the concussion did not impact my problem solving skills, so my chemistry, physics, and calculus courses went fine.</p>

<p>The "Post-Concussive Syndrome" impacted me outside of school as well. I found that intense physical exertion only worsened my symptoms, giving me headaches and difficulty in concentrating, as I learned following the first day of lacrosse practice in March 2007. I resigned from the team as I had with football, but that was not the end of my troubles. </p>

<p>After graduation, I decided to take it easy this summer and not do anything structured (no internship/job), which was a bad move on my part, for I found myself drowning in ennui. This led to a catastrophic July 4th, during which my best friend and I tried doing backflips. I landed them all (with his help as my spotter) except for the last one, when I landed on my head. Another concussion.</p>

<p>Now, I find myself in a difficult position. I'm not sure how much the second concussion impacted me, as I don't have schoolwork as a baseline, but it has come to the point where I must decide whether or not to delay my entry into Stanford for a year. I've contacted them and they said it is fine if I defer until fall 2008 since it is for medical reasons.</p>

<p>I have seen 3 doctors for this issue: a neurologist, a neurosurgeon, and a neuropsychologist. The neurologist referred me tot he neuropsychologist, who did some neuropsychological testing on me, and she wants me to take a year off. She fears that the stress of college life will only worsen my symptoms and I will be disappointed in my performance. </p>

<p>The neurologist, after receiving the neuropsychologist's report, said that I have 3 options:</p>

<p>1) Delay a year
2) Go to Stanford this fall and hope for the best
3) Go to Stanford this fall with drugs to make me more alert </p>

<p>I've scratched option #3 because I fear that I will be psychologically dependent on them, and the neuroSURGEON (he has extensive experience in sports concussions and is the one treating Ted Johnson, the former New England Patriot) agrees that drugs may not be the best option. So, that leaves options 1 and 2. The neurosurgeon feels that it would be the more prudent choice to delay a year, since there is a "99%" chance I will have recovered by then.</p>

<p>I know I'm probably missing some key details because it's late but if there are any ambiguities feel free to ask. I just feel really torn because on the one hand I don't want to go to school and founder; I want to get the most out of my education and take the campus by storm, but on the other hand I recognize that I'm probably not in my best form right now. I just don't know if I can take living at home for another year when college is so close.</p>

<p>Thoughts, comments, suggestions? Thank you very much!</p>

2

<p>If Stanford is willing to let you defer, then I don't really see the problem. There's no reason that you have to sit at home doing nothing while you take a year off! You can get a job, do volunteer work, travel, learn a foreign language. Maybe I'm missing something here - I absolutely understand that you don't want to defer, but at the same time, what's taking an extra year compared to possibly seriously endangering your health? </p>

<p>I had serious medical problems last year while I was at college, and I know how difficult it is to keep up with coursework when you're not feeling on top form. Honestly, I would take the neurosurgeon's advice and take it easy for a year. Apart from possible boredom at home, is there any other reason you don't want to defer?</p>

3

<p>I am a parent and I have provided speech-language therapy to head-injured persons in my career. My advice would be to take the conservative approach to your health and take the year off. It appears that you have consulted a highly qualified neurosurgeon who has advised you to be prudent.</p>

<p>I do understand the desire to start your college career on track, with your peers, yet in the long run your health is the number one priority.</p>

<p>You must allow your brain to fully recover--you are young and you will. As Laylah suggests you can do some worthwhile activities that will allow you to garner great experience while allowing you to fully recover. What do your parents say about this? </p>

<p>God bless you and take good care of yourself. Congratulations on all that you have achieved!</p>

4

<p>You write clearly and beautifully.</p>

<p>I concur with the advice to defer for a year, to give yourself plenty of time to fully recover. Look at the year as an opportunity, to explore some non-mentally stressful activities, whether they be in work, travel, or what not. You will then be better equipped to embark on college the following year.</p>

<p>Best of luck. You sound like a great kid.</p>

5

<p>Absolutely defer. Your brain is all you've got - give it the respect (and the rest!) it deserves. It has to last you for, oh, about 70 more years. What's one year out of that? Don't risk permanent damage to a sensitive and vital organ. If you had heart problems and were told to rest for a year and then you'd be fine, wouldn't you do it? Same thing.</p>

6

<p>Another vote for taking the doctor's suggestion to defer for a year. Closed Head Injuries should not be taken lightly. Frankly, if I were your parent the decision would have been made and you would not attend college this year.
I hope your recovery progresses smoothly and painlessly.</p>

7

<p>Why not defer? The gap year I took was the best present my parents ever gave me.</p>

8

<p>DEFER- yes, it is possible you are fine, but PCS is subtle and affects the highest order of thinking first. My D had a concussion (mild) over the summer before grade 12 and she had a lot of headaches in first term field hockey, necessitating a lot of taking it easy. For her that helped, but on & off headaches happened throughout the school year.</p>

<p>Do not begin your dream at Stanford under a 2 concussion cloud. Take a break.</p>

<p>BUT, do not sit around absorbed by the ennui, find some fun, interesting things you can do which allow you to learn more about yourself and what you want out of life- not what you say you want in college essays, what you really want deep inside!</p>

9

<p>What your situation teaches us is that injuries shouldn't be taken lightly, and full information must be gotten immediately, so as to not have other students in your situation</p>

<p>It angers me that your were given all the information you needed at the time</p>

<p>We hear about cuncussions in sports all the time, and then the players play again, so no one takes them as seriouslly as they need to </p>

<p>I am so sorry this happened, but IF you take that gap year, don't do stupid stuff like you did before!!! Mom nagging here</p>

<p>What about deferring unitl January?</p>

10

<p>I hope that you will defer, but I understand how you might wish otherwise.</p>

<p>Story of my H and his hospital roommate after each had serious leg injuries: H followed all doctor's orders, wrt physical therapy, rest,.... Roommate plowed ahead doing whatever he wanted because he could. End result: H has virtually zero effects from his fractured femur all these years later. Roommate was never ever the same again and is severely limited in what he can do.</p>

<p>So, it is great that you now understand what can happen and are following doctor's advice. It will always be true that there will be varying medical opinions and that some will say you have the option of going forward and some will recommend not. I hope you will take the cautious route. Your whole future could be affected by trying to rush things.</p>

<p>Here's my suggestion: start thinking of ways to make your deferral year exciting (while not overly rigorous, lol). Living at home another year may be a disappointment, but is probably very very wise in terms of eliminating the stress of an adjustment - which all moves usually involve. So think of some things you would really like to do this year, which would make the year fun for you. Maybe things you've always wanted to try but didn't have time. Could be anything. Maybe little bits of travel, if you can afford it. Even visiting close friends at their schools for brief periods.</p>

<p>Best of luck.</p>

11

<p>Defer. A year seems like a long time at your age, but many years from now you will be glad you did the "right" thing and looked after your health. Particularly your neurological health.</p>

12

<p>Parents,</p>

<p>Thank you for your kind words of wisdom! I am somewhat surprised by the overwhelming number of calls to defer, but also relieved as well. I guess deep inside I know that it is the right choice to make, yet it is hard to really commit when college life beckons and my friends clamor for me to go. </p>

<p>However, the difference between the advice given by adults and that given by my peers is clear. Age and maturity bring with it the perspective of the long run; it is true that although one year seems like a forever right now, the time off will only pay for itself, and while my friends are off entering the (potentially dreary!) world of the workforce, I will be enjoying my senior year in California sunshine. </p>

<p>I did forget to mention in my original posting that even with the concussion, my grades did not suffer, but they definitely were harder to come by.</p>

<p>Please keep the comments coming! It is encouraging to see my thoughts on the decision reflected in the advice of those older and wiser.</p>

13

<p>I know it will be tough seeing your peers leave for and start college, but..
Let your brain heal! You will definitely want to be "at the top of your game" at Stanford - are you there now? It doesn't sound like it.</p>

<p>Good luck!</p>

14

<p>Here is another mom agreeing that you should defer. Think of it as buying an insurance policy on your entire future. Why wouldn't you?</p>

15

<p>I understand all the concerns and recommendations to defer, but consider how frequently concussions happen. I've had four of them myself. A friend got one by running into the back of a car one crazy night. No need to spend an entire year out of school just because of a concussion. For most people they are really not all that serious.</p>

16

<p>Physician/mom here- it sounds like you have some excellent physicians and parents giving you good advice. You also have your past experience with your recovery from the first concussion. DEFER. And, no more head injury possible activities for you! Aren't you glad Stanford is making it easy for you to still be able to go next year? Good luck finding safe things to do for the next 12 months and be thankful you will not be stuck in a hospital or rehab center- remind yourself of that anytime you are bored and tempted.</p>

<p>Cross posted with the above post. You need to pay attention to how your body reacts to a head injury, not how the majority of people do.</p>

17

<p>Defer! No question about it. PCS is serious. A year of rest & recovery will have you back to your old self. I know a girl who suffered with this (after several concussions) & had terrible trouble with newly acquired info. She could still play old songs on her musical instrument, yet struggled with the new. Your "blunt scalpel" explanation if a good one.</p>

<p>You wouldn't jog with a broken leg; don't attempt Stanford with PCS.</p>

18

<p>
[quote]
No need to spend an entire year out of school just because of a concussion. For most people they are really not all that serious.

[/quote]
Sorry, but this is just bad information! The OP has PCS. It has been diagnosed by a neurologist, a neurosurgeon, and a neuropsychologist! Not every concussion is equally serious. Obviously, the OP's were quite serious; enough to noticably impact his cognitive functioning.</p>

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<p>OP, I still don't understand why you seem so reluctant to defer. I'm 22, so I'm only a couple of years older than you, and if I were in your situation, I wouldn't even have had a choice - my parents wouldn't have let me start university. </p>

<p>I had a gap year anyway (it's very common in the UK) and I can honestly say it was the best year of my life. I spent my year working as an English teacher in China, and travelling around the Far East. My brother is going to Thailand in a few weeks to spend a year working on a nature reserve. My friend spent a year working in an animal shelter, beefing up her CV before applying to vet school. </p>

<p>I honestly do understand that you want to get going with your college career. But it is NOT worth risking your health over it. Health >>>>>>>>>>> College.</p>

20

<p>Laylah I think the hardest thing for me is just getting out of the euphoric state of mind I've had ever since I got into school. I was just ecstatic and ready to go to school, and it has been hard readjusting that perspective. I now recognize that a gap year is the more practical solution, but I was also worried that I might find myself bored and discouraged with all my friends going off to school. </p>

<p>However, I think I've really warmed up to the idea of a gap year, and have thought of a few things that I could do that would take advantage of the time off. A friend of mine also suggested looking into whether I could take the first quarter (Stanford is on the quarter system) off, but I think if I take any time off I'd prefer a year rather than a quarter and throwing myself into an already developed social scene.</p>