<p>So if your daughter goes to Pitt it saves you about 40K per year, if I have the math right. </p>
<p>Offer to split the difference with your daughter. Pay her 20K per year if she goes to Pitt. You still end up ahead. </p>
<p>If she turns it down I guess she really wants to go to the LAC. </p>
<p>Of course a kid would want to go to the “better” school when magical money will appear to fund this. For them, there is no downside. I guess the issue is that parents should talk ahead of time about expectations… can you truly afford full pay? Like others ask, what impact does it have on other siblings, retirement, vacations…
Also you say your child doesn’t know what they want to major in…how confident are you in their ability to succeed on their own in college? If you have some reservations, then full pay may not be the way to go.</p>
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<p>I’m puzzled by the implication that students who enter college undecided are more likely to be unsuccessful students. A bright, curious, well-prepared kid with varied intellectual interests may well start freshman year without a clear major in mind. Nothing wrong with it. The OP’s child is obviously an excellent student.</p>
<p>Many kids announce with great confidence their major plans, only to end up changing them when reality hits or another opportunity presents itself. </p>
<p>I agree with NJSue. The implication that a kid without a set major is somehow lacking is very strange. (Especially since the vast majority of kids with set ideas about their major end up changing their minds!)</p>
<p>How good is its public school? If it’s top 40 or so I would advise you to take the full ride. Some people do benefit from going to top name schools, people who want to be politicians, investment bankers, lawyers, etc but it’s not worth 60k each year unless you can easily afford it. </p>
<p>I am seriously getting fatigued over this question. Seems to come up several times per week on CC. I am glad people have the patience to answer this common questions. But I am starting to realize that the mere fact that we are asking this means that there cannot be a difference in the outcomes when you consider a high achieving student. Otherwise, there would be a clear and consistent"no question about it" answer. </p>
<p>“but is it worth the 60K?” - If it will require significant loans (for this student or younger siblings), then I’d say No. If it’s easily affordable, then you need to weigh pros/cons. The reason there is no clear answer is simply that every situation is different. </p>
<p>We had a similar situation, perhaps. Good scholarship at a State school, full cost at a top-tier private school. Cost difference: $40k/year. Yes, we had to think about it. But at the end we said “you know what the money means, you decide, we’ll support you either way”. He made a thoughtful decision, and told us why he was choosing to spend the money on the better school. We agreed with the reasons and the decision. The best part: it turns out to have been the right decision, it’s a great school and a near-perfect fit.</p>
<p>There are many undecided intelligent students who figure out what they want and do well. I have also seen many examples of students who didn’t know what they wanted, and ended up taking longer, dropping out or switching schools. If you know your child is one of the former, then great! But it you think they may be one of the latter, then go with the cheaper school.</p>
<p>ucb–no real resentment so far. They know that #1 and #2 have been cut out of our will ;)</p>
<p>Then there are those kids that adapt and make any of their choices a near-perfect fit. They are not limited by where you put them because they rise to the occasion. Just imagine if the parents suffer a financial hit due to illness or unemployment. What will happen to the child during the period of time before the financial aid catches up to the new scenario?</p>
<p>Frugaldoctor, I am thrifty with everything but the choice of UG and the city for grad school (I offered to supplement a little if son chose a university in an expensive city). I still think my son benefitted from his UG experience. </p>
<p>I’ve only been in Pittsburgh once, and know nothing about U Pitt. I did my MS with a prof at Amherst, and worked a few years at Wellesley. I have only wonderful memories of those 2 colleges. The areas are quite different, each with their own charm. In sum, I think OP and DD have a difficult choice.</p>
<p>D2 is a sophomore this year. When I decided to take a job which wasn’t as lucrative few years ago, her 4 years tuition money was already set aside. Our kids also went to a private school K-12. We always set aside their tuition money ahead of anything else. There were few years when time was harder than others, especially when the kids were younger, but paying tuitions was our priority. It was a decision we made before we enrolled them at a private. </p>
<p>If parents can’t be sure they could afford 4 years of more expensive tuitions then they should consider their options more carefully, but if it has been planned out and the family could afford the tuition then I would go with a higher ranking school. </p>
<p>I have posted this numerous times, the reason a school is willing to give your kid merit scholarship is they are paying for your kid’s academic achievement. They want your kid to make their school look better, so they could attract other students. The question is after 13 years of educating your kid, is college the time to sell your kid’s achievements? Duke has a very prestigious full merit scholarship which they offer to HYPS caliber students. A friend turned it down on behalf of her kid for Yale because she said after paying for K-12 private tuitions, this wasn’t the time to skim on her kid. For her it wasn’t a hardship to pay for 50K/year (it was 7 years ago).</p>
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<p>For the most part I think you are correct, frugaldoctor. It’s just hard for people to let go of the dream sometimes. </p>
<p>Although I too tire of these threads–it does seem a little late to consider the implications of being in this predicament, which is all too common–I hope that this sort of discussion will help at least a few families down the road. It’s too bad the OP’s daughter didn’t look at other women’s colleges that also have solid reputations and that might have a similar vibe to Wellesley. Some of them outside the very top tier offer merit scholarships. Another point people have raised that is worth noting is that the tuition at Wellesley is likely to increase each year, making the difference in cost even greater by the end of her four years.</p>
<p>I do think the OP’s daughter has two fantastic options. If the money has been set aside and the plan all along has been to cough up $60K-plus a year for her college education, I’d pick Wellesley in a heartbeat. But if it represents any sort of hardship, Pitt is an excellent choice as well.</p>
<p>Oldfort, well said. I am one of those parents who poured money into 12 years of providing my D1 the best education in our area. At the same time, I always knew that at the end of the road my kid would have to “sell” her achievements. The ultimate goal of our education system is to present workers to the marketplace. We hope our children will enter the marketplace to do a job they enjoy and for the highest bidder. She will eventually sell her achievements to a school, employer, or investors for an entrepreneurial endeavor.</p>
<p>I have instilled in my kids the importance of frugality and that decisions have costs, risks and benefits that always have to be balanced. Furthermore, I’ve taught them that no college or university has a monopoly on education. Caltech and MIT doesn’t have a monopoly on technology. They don’t have any secret formulas, equations or theories that are shared and confined to their graduates. Therefore, for my family, I believe the process of selling achievements start during the college selection process. She needs to pick a school who will court her and invest highly in her education, and at the same time make her an even better prospect when she enters the workforce. The solution isn’t to pick a HYPS caliber school, but to critically review the schools that best matches her goals.</p>
<p>With that in mind, we are narrowing our list rather quickly to a handful of schools that offer full-merit-scholarships. We realized that these schools need her more than we initially thought she needed them. Not to be conceited here, but when we are talking about spending $240,000 for a HYPS school, we need to know what the schools can do for us. We aren’t seeing a clear ROI for that amount. That may not be the case for others on this forum and that is the beauty of our system; we have so many choices. My choice is to pay for medical school with the money I set aside for their college. Having been in considerable debt for my medical education, I know the ROI on paying for her medical school will be immense.</p>
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<p>I don’t think there is any such school. (Or are you thinking of MHC and Smith as outside the very top tier?)</p>
<p>I think of Smith as being close to Wellesley, with MHC a step down in terms of competitiveness. Admittedly, I don’t know much about the women’s colleges but when my son was interested in one of the schools in the Five College Consortium I did some research into those two, just to see what they were all about (and as potential options for my younger child). I was thinking more along the lines of Bryn Mawr, Scripps, Agnes Scott…</p>
<p>I guess without knowing what it was specifically about Wellesley that appealed to the OP’s daughter (other than that it is a fantastic college) perhaps it is a mistake to assume that the all-women part of it was significant.</p>
<p>I went to college undecided on a major. My favorite classes in high school had been history, art and math. I hadn’t had much science because of the lousy offerings, but I’d done very well in chemistry. I could easily have majored in just about anything, though I’d had to have done some catching up in science. My freshman year I took the required freshman composition course, a language course (German), a history of political science, intro to computer programing, a Shakespeare course, Greek lit in translation, and a freshman seminar which combined studio art and art history (Prints and printmaking). I learned that programming drove me crazy, writing papers and doing research was really not my thing at the college level of intensity, and that art course both halves of it were the only thing that really made my day. I loved German, but I’m not really a linguist. But I did spend some time in Germany that summer and ended up using my knowledge of German for my senior thesis research. (I ended up majoring in Visual and Environmental Studies - focusing on architectural history with a lot of studio art thrown in.) </p>
<p>As for what I was looking for in college when I applied? Urban location, demanding academics, and a wide choice of majors. VES was not on my radar, though I had a vague notion that being an architect was a possible career. (My mother’s parents had been architects, but both passed away before I ever had a chance to know them.)</p>
<p>@sally305
…:I guess without knowing what it was specifically about Wellesley that appealed to the OP’s daughter …</p>
<p>We started off looking at colleges that were LACs or LAC like. When she was a sophomore we read about Wellesley and suggested may be she should look in to it. She turned it down saying it is an all women’s college, it is not for me. Then when she really started to look at colleges her outlook changed and she saw MtH, W, Brymawr [some how did not want to look at other women’s colleges- Smith, Barnard included] and a few other schools. We visited over 16 schools.</p>
<p>We never agreed on any school, if we [parents] liked it she did not or it was never a perfect score in her/our mind. When we attended Wellesley’s intro session, we were thoroughly impressed by the “student” who spoke about Wellesley and who presented the college to us. I was so impressed that I even asked the girl in the intro session, if they had special classes to teach students on how to speak/present? The answer was no, we have small classes and we all have to participate in classes, I guess that is what makes the difference.Then we came across several other students on campus, basically we saw the same… “confidence, composure and eloquence”. </p>
<p>As I drove off the campus, after the visit, instead of me asking the usual question -“what did you think about the school” - my D, asked me that question. My answer was, if I have to pay full fee to a college, I think I will pay full fee to Wellesley. She agreed that this is the college that her heart connected to!</p>
<p>From a parent’s point of view, [my D, is a strong, but silent type] I thought Wellesley will make her a strong but well spoken and confident person [of all the schools we had seen so far]. But the ROI side of me is asking, is it worth forgoing a full scholarship and investing 250K for something that may or may not happen [because shyness is a personality trait]?</p>
<p>The other concern about Wellesley is their GPA deflation [they are worse than most HYPS, except Princeton, I guess]. She is interested in higher education where GPA plays a big part. </p>
<p>So the dilemma is due you shoot for the star knowing that you may not reach it [GPA deflation and rigor of the course at Wellesley - from a parental point of view] or do you take the safety and go for school where the cost is less and the chances of GPA deflation is much lesser? </p>
<p>@sally305
…“Some of them outside the very top tier offer merit scholarships”…</p>
<p>Mt Holyoke, Brynmawr and I think Smith [she did not even want to look at it] do offer scholarships. But in my and her opinion they are good schools but they did not raise the same level of excitement as much as Wellesley did. I strongly recommended to my D to apply to these to schools because of the scholarships, but she turned it down…:(</p>