Confusion

Paying for College
1

<p>Let me start off by saying that my parents always talked about college as though they were paying for it. They expected me to go to college and never said I would have to pay for it myself.</p>

<p>That being said, their income is too high for any grants, and i received no scholarships (incoming freshman).</p>

<p>I will be attending a UC school, so the overall cost for one year is over 32,000. I took out 5500 in stafford loans myself. And my parents are going to be borrowing the rest in a parent plus loan because they don't have any money at all saved up for college. </p>

<p>The problem is that my mother told me that there is no way they will be paying the parent plus loan or the stafford loan. I told her that she was essentially telling me to pay for my own entire college education when my parents had always said they would. She talked to my father and he said that we would figure this all out later (probably after I graduate...)</p>

<p>I'm really confused and scared right now because my parents and I agreed on this school even after realizing the cost. I had always assumed they would pay or at least help with my costs, but apparently my mother has changed that plan.</p>

<p>Any advice?</p>

2

<p>Attend a community college to save money.</p>

3

<p>Take a gap year and use it to find a school you can afford. Maybe one that offers merit aid?</p>

4

<p>Whoa, everybody, hang on a 'sec!</p>

<p>The OP’s parents have agreed to take out the parent plus loans needed to pay for the OP to attend a UC school - so school is paid for. The only question is how those loans are going to be paid back. And, according to the OP, his or her parents have agreed to defer any decision regarding repayment until after the OP graduates.</p>

<p>At this point, the ONLY loans in the OP’s name are the OP’s current and future Stafford loans. All the remaining debt (the Parent Plus loans) is in the parents’ names. Whatever moral obligation the OP might feel to repay all or part of that debt, he or she has no LEGAL obligation to do so . . . as cold-hearted as that might sound.</p>

<p>And, even though the parents appear to be uncertain regarding their expectations for repayment, it also sounds like they are not going to expect the OP to repay more than he or she reasonably can.</p>

<p>I do have one concern, however . . . given the rather massive debt the parents will incur to put the OP through four years at a UC school, I would make sure they are not changing their minds about assuming that debt. In other words, if the OP’s parents decide, a year or two down the road, that this is more than they’re willing to undertake, the OP is going to be up a creek without a paddle. He or she would have no funds for school and no inexpensive options for transfer.</p>

<p>So, I would encourage the OP to sit down with his or her parents NOW, before school starts, and review the expenses that are going to be incurred - taking into account potential increases in tuition and other costs over the next four years. MAKE SURE that your parents are on board with borrowing this substantial amount of money.</p>

<p>If they are not, then the advice you’ve been given above is sound: take a gap year and apply to schools where you would qualify for significant merit aid. They are out there, and we can help you find them. But once you have started at UC, this option disappears. The merit aid you’d be looking for is generally available ONLY to incoming freshman, NOT to transfer students!</p>

5

<p>Chip-
Are you fighting with your mother?
Sounds like you have disobeyed her and she is yanking your college money.
Your dad is trying to lay low.
So stop making her mad. Y
You only have a month until school starts.
Don’t take her bait and over react to everything she says.
She is asserting that she is in charge and not you.</p>

6

<p>I don’t think he’s fighting with his mom.</p>

<p>I think the parents have “done the math” about their debt and it scares them.</p>

<p>The bottom line is that THEY are responsible for the Plus loans, not the kid no matter WHAT they’re saying. They can’t make him pay those back.</p>

<p>However, this puts the student in a situation where he/she may be tempted to mislead/lie. To continue going to school, the student might choose to “say” that he’ll pay the Plus loans back, but after graduation refuse to do so. Frankly, the student won’t likely be able to AFFORD to pay back those loans. </p>

<p>Few newish grads can make payments on over $100k of loans (Plus and Stafford totals). </p>

<p>I don’t know if parents are req’d to make Plus payments while the student is in school, or if they can opt to defer til after graduation. If they can opt to defer, then the amount of debt will be even HIGHER. </p>

<p>The student should pay for his Stafford loans.</p>

<p>If the student is expected to give some kind of promise (sign something) that HE will pay the Plus loans back, then he needs to consider other options because that is too much debt…he’ll end up with over $120k in debt.</p>

<p>Going to a CC maybe an option, but if that’s the case, he needs to get going on that now!</p>

<p>the OP needs to sit down with both parent and come up with a solution. Topics can include:</p>

<p>Can the family cut-back on expenses so that they don’t have to borrow much. The family doesn’t qualify for any aid, yet they’re borrowing ALL costs. Unless there’s some unusual issue, the family should figure out how they can squeeze at least $10k per year out of their budget to reduce loans. </p>

<p>The bottom line is that the family has a high EFC (at least $30k), so that suggests a 6 figure income. Maybe cutting back on some luxury items…cable, eating out, clothing, salons, pricey cell phone plans, etc, will mean less borrowing. </p>

<p>Are both parents working full time? If not, can they work more hours? are there any over-time options? Or the possibility to take on a weekend job? </p>

<p>How much can the STUDENT earn each year…summers and school year? </p>

<p>BTW…the “basic costs” to attend a UC doesn’t add up to $32k. That is padded. The parents should NOT be borrowing up to COA. The student needs to look over the variable costs and CUT BACK…cheaper housing, cheaper meal plan, less discretionary spending, don’t take a car to school, (cut back on car insurance and gas that way), less trips home, buying books used or renting/borrowing. </p>

<p>If the parents insist that there’s no way to cut back, and that they must borrow the entire cost, AND the student will be expected to pay the money back, then the student only has a couple of options… </p>

<p>One option might be: Go to a CC this year, and then apply to transfer to a UC or CSU that he can COMMUTE to from home.</p>

<p>I never understand why parents take out Plus loans for all of the costs. If they can’t afford to pay much/anything out of current income, then how the heck will they be able to afford $600 - 1200 a month loan payments later??? I can see that there might be a few exceptions (waiting to cash/sell an asset, etc), but rarely will a family’s financial situation change THAT MUCH to suddenly be able to afford huge loan payments.</p>

7

<p>Wait…I just realized that you’re an incoming frosh to UCSB.</p>

<p>Do NOT enroll. You’ll lose your incoming frosh status. </p>

<p>Take a gap year and apply to schools that will work for you…either by getting merit scholarships for stats, or by commuting to a local CC or state school.</p>

<p>What CSUs or UCs do you live near? </p>

<p>The bottom line is the parents do NOT want that much debt on their shoulders. They’ve done the math. The fact that they’re borrowing all costs and can’t pay anything out of current income, STRONGLY suggests that they already have significant debt…mortgage, credit cards, car payments, whatever. </p>

<p>What is your intended major ?</p>

<p>What is your GPA and test scores?</p>

<p>And, even though the parents appear to be uncertain regarding their expectations for repayment, it also sounds like they are not going to expect the OP to repay more than he or she reasonably can.</p>

<p>Not true…the OP says that the mom said that there’s no way that THEY are paying those loan back…that means they aren’t taking into acct whether their child can afford the debt or not. </p>

<p>Maybe they think that their child can live at home while working to pay off the debt. That often isn’t doable for many reasons…job may not be in hometown, student may be involved with a significant other and want to live with that person or near that person at that point. It’s hard for adult children to adjust to living back at home once gone for 4 years.</p>

<p>I think the parents just aren’t willing to pay for his education. maybe they think “going away” to college is a luxury that they can’t pay for???</p>

<p>* In other words, if the OP’s parents decide, a year or two down the road, that this is more than they’re willing to undertake, the OP is going to be up a creek without a paddle. He or she would have no funds for school and no inexpensive options for transfer.*</p>

<p>this is a HUGE concern. At some point, the parents may refuse to take out more Plus loans (maybe they won’t qualify for more debt, or they fear that their child WON’T pay them back). At that point, the student will be screwed.</p>

<p>That’s why a gap year might be best. Work, save money, and ALSO apply where you’d get merit or you can commute.</p>

8

<p>*GPA: 3.6 UC GPA
SAT: 2150
Dedication to specific extracurriculars
California resident
School API of over 885</p>

<p>What are my chances for:
UC Irvine
UC Davis
UC San Diego
UC Santa Barbara
UC Riverside
CSU Long Beach*</p>

<p>With your stats, you could get large merit at some schools…some that are just as good or better than UCSB. Take a gap year and reapply!</p>

<p>Just saw that you’re a bio major…that sounds like pre-med. If so, debt needs to be avoided for undergrad…you’ll have huge debt for med school. Don’t want both undergrad and med school big debt. YIKES!!!</p>

9

<p>I agree with the other posters. You and your parents need to figure this out NOW not later. You need to know what aid and under what conditions that aid will be provided. Is a minimum GPA required? Is certain behavior required? Do they need to approve of the major? If both your parents are not commited to the overall college plan, then you need plan B. If possible, try to get an agreement in writing. Not for legal reasons, but so both of you can make sure each of one understands what was agree to.</p>

<p>Deciding this later is a mistake. What happens if at the end of 4 years they say you need to pay them back and you can’t or won’t? Are you willing to destroy your relationship with them and possibly with your extended family?</p>

<p>Can they afford/qualify for 4 year of parent loans?</p>

<p>One major concern is what if they withdraw support at some point or can’t get more loans? If you can’t find a new school that you can afford then you will have to start repaying the stratford loans. Can you do that?</p>

10

<p>Thank you everyone for your help so far!</p>

<p>I should clarify my situation a bit more though:</p>

<p>My parents did talk about affordability of other schools and did want me to go to another UC (same price) just for the reason that they don’t want me at the party school. </p>

<p>My father took the financial aid advice of a coworker who said to take out a parent plus loan and just defer payment until I graduate.</p>

<p>The one thing that really frustrates me is that I did bring up the not having enough money issue with my parents and they just got angry and told me that they didn’t expect college prices to rise so much. They also stated that most people cannot save up for college. My father then said that they always intended to pay for my college, just that they would take out loans and pay it later. So they convinced me that everything would be fine. It did put the concerns I has for so long to rest.</p>

<p>My mother and father are on completely different pages; they don’t share financial information with each other. And I think I’m just coming to realize that my father intended for them to pay and my mom has randomly changed her mind about it without telling anyone until it came up while she filled out loans. I honestly have no idea what she is thinking.</p>

<p>My father has always said that I won’t be able to get anywhere without at least a Masters degree (I am no longer going the premed route); my mother has said that she doesn’t know how THEY can afford it. She talks about themselves affording things and now suddenly I’m the one footing the bill. It may sound like I’ve done something to anger her at this point, but we aren’t in any sort of argument so it just seems out of the blue.</p>

<p>Taking a gap year is near impossible for me. I cannot drive, nor would I have a car if I did. They public transportation around here isn’t really that great. Also, it is something my parents would be against 100% and they would tell me to just go to school as that is th expectation. Defying that and putting myself out into the world without their support doesn’t seem like a logical decision at this point.</p>

<p>If I went to a CSU, I would also have to take out loans for all of my costs. I haven’t any idea if my parents would pay that now even though they said they would before. I am not sure how much money I have saved in the bank; but my mother would never let me use it to pay for college or anything else right now.</p>

<p>I’ve never had a job before because my parents never allowed me to and my father told me to not work during college and just focus on school. They actually don’t allow me to use my own money (old allowance/money made from random babysitting jobs/savings) to pay for things.</p>

<p>I am so sorry this reply is ridiculously long; thank you if anyone reads it!</p>

11

<p>Ehh, a few more bits…</p>

<p>I have a younger sibling who will be going to community college soon (won’t be able to get in anywhere else because of poor academics). I know my parents will pay for her and whatever schooling she chooses to do after that (I am better off academically, more responsible, she has some mental issues; I guess that makes me able to pay off massive loans in my mother’s eyes)</p>

<p>I wish I could cut back on personal spending but I am the only one in the family who doesn’t watch tv at all, I am not allowed to use my cell phone for anything but emergencies, I don’t go to salons, we don’t eat out. I have no clue where all the money goes but it sure isn’t towards me and my parents don’t seem to be planning on cutting back.</p>

12

<p>*My mother and father are on completely different pages; they don’t share financial information with each other. And I think I’m just coming to realize that my father intended for them to pay and my mom has randomly changed her mind about it without telling anyone until it came up while she filled out loans. I honestly have no idea what she is thinking.</p>

<p>My father has always said that I won’t be able to get anywhere without at least a Masters degree (I am no longer going the premed route); my mother has said that she doesn’t know how THEY can afford it. She talks about themselves affording things and now suddenly I’m the one footing the bill. It may sound like I’ve done something to anger her at this point, but we aren’t in any sort of argument so it just seems out of the blue.*</p>

<p>It’s not unusual for parents to be on “different pages” when it comes to finances. Often, one parent is the one who “pays the bills”, so the other may have unrealistic expectations about what’s affordable.</p>

<p>Perhaps your dad hasn’t “done the math” to figure out how delaying the Plus loans will cause the total amount of debt to be MUCH higher by the time you graduate. all that interest is being deferred and being added onto the existing debt. </p>

<p>Perhaps your mom is the one who pays the bills, so she now realizes that they can’t afford to make payments on $100k of Plus loans (few families can). Or maybe she’s more aware of future big expenses that family will soon have…new roof, car replacement, dental work, retirement, and she realizes that loan payments and those expenses won’t be affordable.</p>

<p>You may have “no clue” about where all the money goes, but that’s not unusual for a child. There are possibly mortgage payments, property taxes, maybe an HOA, home insurance, maybe car payments, car insurance, gasoline, car repairs, electric, water, and gas bills, health insurance, Rx, food, clothing, cable/satellite, internet, fed taxes, FICA, state taxes, local taxes, retirement contributions, etc, etc. </p>

<p>You need to get both parents to the table at the SAME time to discuss this issue.</p>

13

<p>

</p>

<p>As noted by m2ck above, this is BAD advice and will cost him a lot of money!</p>

<p>

</p>

<p>This is the one thing you said that struck me as really bizarre. If it’s YOUR money that’s saved in the bank, you should know how much it is. You also need to be aware that any savings that belong to YOU significantly impact your eligibility for aid. I’m assuming it’s not a huge amount . . . but this is something you should find out.</p>

<p>The rest of your story really isn’t that remarkable. There is currently another very active [url=<a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/financial-aid-scholarships/1376676-wsj-college-loans-hit-upper-middle-class-hardest.html]thread[/url”>WSJ: College Loans Hit Upper Middle Class Hardest - Financial Aid and Scholarships - College Confidential Forums]thread[/url</a>] in the financial aid forum that discusses this very problem: that families just weren’t prepared for college costs to skyrocket as much as they have. Many, many families that thought they’d be able to afford college are now facing the same problems that your family is facing.</p>

<p>As for your parents, it sounds like your father is trying to keep the promise he made to you to provide you with a good education. Meanwhile, your mother is panicking for good reason. It sounds like the one thing they aren’t doing is including YOU in the conversation and decision-making . . . and the time has come for them to do that.</p>

<p>Good luck!!!</p>

14

<p>*If I went to a CSU, I would also have to take out loans for all of my costs. I haven’t any idea if my parents would pay that now even though they said they would before. I am not sure how much money I have saved in the bank; but my mother would never let me use it to pay for college or anything else right now.</p>

<p>I’ve never had a job before because my parents never allowed me to and my father told me to not work during college and just focus on school. They actually don’t allow me to use my own money (old allowance/money made from random babysitting jobs/savings) to pay for things.*</p>

<p>If you’ve never had a job, then what money would YOU have in the bank? If you’re talking about Birthday money or Christmas money from relatives, then you might be able to estimate how much is in there. And, since you’re nearly 18, you need to know how much is there anyway. It is YOUR money. What excuse could your mom give for not letting you know? And, if it’s substantial, then why not let you use some for college.</p>

<p>Is the bank acct in YOUR name? or is it in both your and your parents’ names? How do you even know if there is any/much money in there? Maybe your parents have used it? Seriously, that happened to my H. He was saving his paper route money and Bday money, then when he went to get the money, he found out his mom (on the acct) had withdrawn the money to use for family expenses.</p>