<p>I've been following this forum with interest today to see how people did, and the thing that I am getting is the element of chance that seems to have been the decisive force in so many people's admissions -- people who expected to get into one top school, say, but in fact got into an equally good school. Or maybe even a better school for them.. But not necessarily the school they had been dreaming of, or that great grandfather attended, or that they think will get them into Harvard, Yale, Princeton, or Brown.. But it's time to think bigger than that..</p>
<p>You didn't get accepted to school X or Y because you were better than somebody else. It's because whatever unique line-up you had was what that school needed this year. Conversely, for those who got rejected: you didn't get judged a failure -- you simply weren't the set of talents that school needed this year.. It's not the end of the world. It's just a new beginning.</p>
<p>So now, guys, I know it's exciting to compare notes, even though it really doesn't mean that much, the key thing now is to focus on the schools you did get into. Which of the schools that accepted you is the "right fit"? Now is the time to do your research and figure this out; it's about some of the most important years in your life, so you've got to really think this out.</p>
<p>And one thing. I know that this board is obsessed with AESD, Groton, and a couple of other places. But there are some really great schools out there that accepted a lot of you and that you should look really hard at, starting today. Schools are like shoes in that you have to find the right fit; the problem is that young people often see shoes as brands, like Nike or Adidas, and think somehow if they didn't get the right "brand" they've somehow failed. Nothing could be further from the truth. I guarantee that in twenty years, if you look back at the group of you posting here today, some of the most successful will have not gotten into the AESD schools that they're crying about today. Now is the time to find the right fit, so that you can be ready for college and what comes after.</p>
<p>The first thing you should do is think about what is most important to you. Prioritize what you really want to do during high school. Try to make a list of things that are most important, and things that are less important, and maybe even things that aren't that important at all. Do you want to go to a big school? Do you want to go to a very diverse school or one where most people come from one area? Do you care if you make varsity your first year -- and are you willing to play in a more competitive league if you realize that you might not make varsity the first year. Different schools have different strengths -- and weaknesses. Do you want to know everybody in the school or would you prefer a big school where you can be more anonymous? City or country? </p>
<p>For most people this is probably the first big independent decision they will ever make in their life. You've got to do it right. And you have about two weeks to do it.</p>
<p>I got accepted at Exeter and Choate, and waitlisted at Andover. Exeter and Choate were the ones I really cared about, so I'm really happy right now--except for the fact that I have no idea which one to choose.</p>
<p>Exeter's Harkness table seems amazing, but Choate seems to have amazing people and I love the campus. I don't know whether or not the PEOPLE or the CURRICULUM should be more important to me, but the fact also stands that Exeter also probably has amazing people. Ahhhhhhh. This is really getting confusing. Plus, I went to a summer program at Choate this summer and LOVEEDDDD it, so that's also working in Choate's favor. bleargh. And I thought getting IN would be the end of all this "suffering." :P</p>
<p>Dear old prep - can you give kids any insight as to whether or not a request for financial aid has any bearing on admissions??? this year especially, the schools were pushing for applicants to apply. However, we are seeing, at least on this site, that many, many kids in the middle income range who asked for FA are being waitlisted. Also, some posters have raised the good questions as to why the financial aid people work in the same offices, often with the same director and the admissions people. Its a conflict waiting to happen. what's your take on this and, would you mind offering commments on waitlisting and what to do if this happens. thanks</p>
<p>Unfortunately, of course FA requests have a bearing on most schools. What has changed dramatically in the last few years is that certain schools now offer generous financial aid to anybody under certain minimum floors. I've noticed that quite a few kids got waitlisted at almost all or all the "hot" schools. My original post however, makes the point that one of the problems these days is that everybody seems to focus on "hot schools" even though there are superb schools that are not necessarily hot right now that are offering generous financial aid. Is it really better to go to Deerfield, bankrupt your parents, stress out for four years because of the financial pressure, then get into a second tier college because of all the pressure and working like crazy during the summers to pay your tuition? Wouldn't it make more sense to take the FA package -- for those to whom it's offered -- at a less well known school, be first in your class, be on varsity teams all seasons, and end up with a scholarship to Princeton or Yale? </p>
<p>One of the most frustrating things about this forum is the obsession all the kids have with AESD & Groton. Look, I went to one of those schools, and an Ivy League college, but I can tell you that I might well have been happier if I'd gone to one of the smaller prep schools first. My prep school was an absolute pressure cooker. My brother went to a smaller, less well known school and had a much better experience. (And I was supposed to be the academically "smart" one.) My point is that people on this board need to quit focusing on brands and start focusing on "fit"; and fit, fundamentally, is about long term goals.</p>
<p>thanks old prep - what smaller schools (say east coast) would you consider if it was your kid? good all around experience academically, socially, good prep for college without breaking the stress o meter? taft, st. andrew's (de), NMH, etc.</p>
<p>For a better understanding of OldPrep's outlook, read his very first post in September of last year. An indication that he may not practice what he preaches & is highly judgmental based on a few isolated experiences & unfair generalizations. Just because his experiences at Exeter were not good, and just because SPS has had unpleasant instances common to almost all boarding schools, he makes sweeping judgments condemning those schools. P.S. I found St. Mark's in Peterson's--but it is just an older edition found on my floor. I know St. Mark's & it is okay for a certain type of student, but not for a typical high achieving mainstream ( not a druggie) student. Is it possible that he has a grudge against the state of New Hampshire? Be cautious about advice couched in unresolved emotions and uninformed knee jerk emotional reactions.</p>
<p>For a better understanding of OldPrep's outlook, read his very first post in September of last year. An indication that he may not practice what he preaches & is highly judgmental based on a few isolated experiences & unfair generalizations. Just because his experiences at Exeter were not good, and just because SPS has had unpleasant instances common to almost all boarding schools, he makes sweeping judgments condemning those schools.</p>
<p>FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! </p>
<p>FWIW and not knowing the history (and maybe not caring), OldPrep's words seem pretty sage to me. I can't see any ulterior motive in his/her sharing them, even if he chose a different path for his family.</p>
<p>I went to Andover and fund-raise and interview for the school, as I have for many years. But Andover is not for everybody. I saw good -- even great -- kids crumble at Andover. I had a girlfriend who went to St. Paul's and loved St. Paul's. But I read SPS alumnus Alex Shoumatoff's article a couple of year's back -- I can't remember where it was written, maybe the New Yorker, and I understand St. Paul's had some recent problems. I recently visited St. Paul's and thought it fabulous, and I commend St. Paul's, since the recent departure of its awful former headmaster, for its transparency since then. The stuff on their website is really first rate in terms of openness. I talked to a number of students there and was really impressed. Frankly, in my view, St. Paul's is one of the five best high schools in America. And I am very glad it got rid of its crooked headmaster. </p>
<p>My broader point -- and this is how the thread started -- is that schools are like shoes. You should buy them because they fit you and not because the brand happens to be the flavor of the month. Some kids will do great at Groton. Some will find joy at Deerfield. Some will thrive at Andover. Some kids like big schools. Some like small. I have a kid who is doing well at St. Mark's; others might find a small St. Grottlesex school too claustrophobic. Some kids might wither away in the harsh glare of competition at one of the big New England academies. The point is that now, before you go to prep school, is the time to try to look in the mirror and take a long hard look at what kind of kid you are. Waking up in the middle of the night, crying, at a school you hate with a room-mate who doesn't understand you and an unsympathetic school administration can be devastating. Better not to put yourself there. Think hard before you put the school's name brand, recognition, and prestige before your own personality. Mark my words.</p>
<p>I want to validate oldprep's advice. I boarded both pre-prep and prep. I swore I would never send my child to boarding school because I would not need or want to. Of course the whole point of having children is to be humbled and to learn that there are no absolutes. So my son is trying to decide where he will attend next year: the local private school that is quite good, the local public school that is good but a large factory (2800+) or one of three boarding schools. My son may go to to my alma mater...but I only want him to go there if that is the right fit for him. There is no point to spending $40k to be unhappy.</p>
<p>I don't have a problem with oldprep's generalized advice, but I do sense an unusual amount of emotion when he writes about specific schools. My impression is that oldprep's emotions are clouding his objectivity. I also know that he is relying on secondhand, and inaccurate, information regarding SPS. I, for example, have repeatedly heard negative comments on certain aspects of St. Mark's School, but I do not publicly repeat them or even let them influence my opinion of that school until I visit or get verifiable info. Oldprep is a new poster here and may not realize that his "find the best fit" advice is nothing new & has been frequently repeated. It is unfair to criticize those students & families who seek the most academically challenging and demanding schools; just because it wasn't a good fit for Oldprep, does not mean that it isn't a great fit for others. In short, I think that Oldprep is too emotional & too judgmental.</p>
<p>Quote from Icy9ff8: "is highly judgmental based on a few isolated experiences"</p>
<p>No offense but someone could easily say the same about your opinions......or mine for that matter. Oldprep's opinions are a contribution to this forum -allow some us to decide whether or not they are of any value. Your comment is uncalled for and it's something that is more consistent with those of the teens on this forum. I expect a lot more from an expert like yourself. You dissapoint me.</p>
<p>Amen to the oldprep and LaxCoach. This is the point that D'yer and I have been trying to make, sometimes humouously (we hope) and sometimes obliquely, with our bogus rating systems. A good case in point is my own son, who was accepted at several big name schools and chose my alma mater, a "lesser" school because he thought it was a good fit. He was right, he thrived and was accepted ED to the college of his dreams.</p>
<p>The tendency here by these young people to be enamored with the big name school is most understandable, but the reality check some are experiencing is all too predictable as well.</p>
<p>Groton's Bunkel Rating (sliding scale) is 1127.4
WBTY Indices has Groton at 111.74 (using several more indicators, including selectivity and ease of use).
The WSJ Scale has Grotty at 174 -- this may be the best rating system as it incorporates almost all of the accepted standards.</p>