Selected Not Rejected

Prep School Admissions
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<p>I have cut and pasted below a posting from the very active thread going on in the Parent's Forum about the discrimination suit brought by an Asian student against Princeton. The thread is Princeton Responds to Claims of Asian discrimination.
I think the posting below can apply to the competition you are all facing as you apply to some of these very elite prep schools. There isn't a check list that you can check all and be accepted! It is more the schools are looking to builkd a community and the needs for the community are constantly changing.</p>

<p>"Cur, I absolutely agree. I have pasted what you said below, so the message can come through a second time."</p>

<p>"My big breakthrough was when it finally dawned on me (was shoved down my throat) that the process was one of selection not rejection. That it wasn't a search for the best students. It wasn't a test , it wasn't a race, it wasn't a contest where the best performing student won and lesser students failed. It was simply who this school wanted for their own institutional reasons from this group of qualified students in this year. Another school would be different. Another year would be different"</p>

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<p>Good post - definitely applicable to the boarding school application process - probably even more so than college. As a few have said on this forum before, each school is building a community. They're not necessarily looking for the smartest or highest ssat scores or GPA. They're looking to build a well-rounded community with students who can perform at a high level of academic ability and with a fair amount of independence while filling all the teams, clubs, etc.</p>

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<p>shelley14, great post! If I said it once, I said it 1000 times. These schools are building communities. As with all communities you want a diverse group of people with different strengths and passions.</p>

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<p>I'll agree that preps and colleges face many of the same challenges in building a "well rounded community". </p>

<p>It is like building a complete all-star team in any sport. Picking the top 12 point guards nor every kid who can score 40 points game in basketball makes the best team. Someone has to play defense and collect rebounds. While there is room for great ball handlers to play point guard and pure shooters who can put up lots of points, you can't fill your team with them and expect success. </p>

<p>Likewise you cannot take school applicants based solely upon test scores and GPA (leaving race and other touchy items out of it) or you will likely have a grinder's school. Hardly the kind of place that develops the most successful people of tommorrow. </p>

<p>Look at the top CEOs and entrepeneurs. Try to find me even a dozen who graduated #1 in their class or scored a perfect SAT. I'll find you more who played football or basketball or several other sports or were musicians or artists for that matter.</p>

<p>These schools know how to pick people who will be successful who have initiative, independence, drive, and ambition. Those things usually stick out in extracurriculars where people take up and achieve in things that you might not expect from someone from their walk of life. The kids selected don't follow everyone else down the same tried and true path. The make their own.</p>

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<p>Great post! I have a graduate of a top of the heap day school and two kids currently there. It was made very clear to us that they first needed to make sure that the kids they were "selecting" could handle the rigorous academics, and then from among those who could, the school selected kids who could contribute to the athletic teams, the bands, the theater, the debate groups, etc.</p>

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<p>It is certainly correct that children a selected, not rejected. Again, I shalt reference The Overachievers (seriously, read that book). Excellent section on there. However, in the Age of Comparison, many children feel they must be exceptional to be adequate. Even though they know that there is nothing "wrong" with them, simply not being selected is enough to make them feel like they aren't good enough.</p>

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<p>I read a very good post from "Curmudgeon" where he makes the analogy of the NFL draft vs. being accepted to college (Princeton). I think it well applies to the process of being accepted to boarding school. I will take the liberty to insert that original post here.</p>

<p>He said:
"I have tried to make the point several times that there are people out there that can't get it through their heads that kids with better stats are not better candidates. Stats just get you in the game. They don't establish a rank or scale of qualification but the Jian Li's of the world think so and just won't let it go. This is very frustrating.</p>

<p>It's like people arguing : </p>

<p>Speed is important in a football player. They judge and rank speed and strength and other physical feats at the NFL Pre-Draft combines to have as accurate a measure as possible with standardization of scoring and conditions. (Same equipment. Same tests. Same proctors. ) </p>

<p>Jian Li is a football player with 4.2 speed (exceptional). Therefore, the Cowboys should draft him higher than other candidates with 4.3 and 4.4 speed. It doesn't happen that way but some of you keep arguing it should. (But that 4.8 running back is going home, not to the Cowboys.) </p>

<p>They look at speed in the context of the whole package. </p>

<p>Add in strength as in bench press. Jian Li can bench press 300 pounds. The others 270 and 250. So therefore with speed and strength, Jian Li should be drafted prior to others with less speed and strength. Nope. Doesn't work that way. The best football players have something you can't measure on a scale or with a watch. Elusiveness. Shiftiness. Competitiveness. Will to win. Never say die. "4th quarter-so tired you can't lift your legs but I'm ready, coach-speed" is what's important. "Crarmping all game but I can still play another series, coach-strength" is what's important. Greatness. It is not easily definable in a ball player but it's certainly easier to define than a "top student". </p>

<p>The reality is the Cowboys will continue to look at Li's speed and strength and if they want to take a flyer those numbers will help. But alone, numbers won't get him drafted and they won't get him in to Princeton. They want to look at the film of who he is and what he's done and how he's done it in the context of where he's played before and with what coaching. Why is this so hard to understand?</p>

<p>A kid with an SAT 50 points higher is not a better student, more qualified, smarter, or more deserving. Well, most folks supporting Li would say he is. The answer is he's not. At least that is the answer at the most selective schools. </p>

<p>It is not a contest for the best stats. It is a selection by the college. Look at the results and modify your behavior. Jeez."</p>

<p>Hummm...</p>

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<p>Jian Li is currently attending Yale.</p>

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<p>And says he never wanted to go to Princeton but was hoping to get rejected so he could bring this suit.</p>

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<p>I thought I would bump this up as everyone is waiting and waiting and waiting...</p>

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<p>While I mostly agree, there are a couple of formulas for 9th grade I think mean pretty sure acceptance. Feeder school, top grades, high 90s SSAT plus clear leadership (sports or other). Schools take many that meet this description every year. For tenth grade, there seem to be many kids from the same schools with similar profiles every year too, the E. Coast private day schools that go through 9th grade.</p>

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<p>Bumping this thread up.</p>

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<p>And bumping again...</p>

<p>Many of you are getting wonderful news, and congratulations to you all!!! But some of you are experiencing your first big disappointment and the parents on this board feel for you!</p>

<p>I wanted to bump this thread because I think that what Curmudgeon had to say about the college selection process has direct application here (thanks Shelley14 for pulling it out of the college boards).</p>

<p>You are terrific kids, all of you, and whatever news you get over the next few days doesn't change that. I know it doesn't help much to hear that now if you're feeling very sad, but it is true.</p>

<p>Best of luck to all.</p>

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<p>Exactly, we had this same discussion over the weekend with parents who said the same thing to my son - they are building a class. You have no control over who else has applied this year. Last year or next year things may have been different.<br>
We liken it to sports. My kids both race motocross and my son happens to be in an age group that has been very competitive. If he had been 1-2 years younger (or older for that matter) he would have made it to nationals. We look at the speed of the kids and say Darn! The same thing I'm sure can be said each year at various schools.
We told our son that we are proud of him and we love him no matter what. Not being selected doesn't change that. I'm sure your parents feel the same way.</p>

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<p>Thanks to all the parents. I love the message here. It may sound so cliche, but I gotta admit that it made me feel better! I'm hanging in there for now... :)</p>

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<p>ugh.
At Exeter, they're trying to "cut down" on the number of Asians.
Great, just great. I know that I'm probably just being a bit selfish because it wouldn't exactly be a "New England" school anymore if it was dominated by Koreans, Chinese, and Japanese, but I'm just upset that I might get cut off just because of my race. At Andover, it saids that they will "not discriminate on the grounds of race" and so on, but that's probably not true. They want only a few Asians, so my guess is that Americans would have a slightly larger chance of getting accepted than an Asian would.
I felt terrible saying that, and chances are that I'm completely wrong, but...yeah, it does make me feel a BIT better. :P</p>

<p>Ahhhhhhhhhhh. I am NOT happy right now. I got waitlisted at Andover, and I'm still waiting for my Exeter and Choate results.</p>

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<p>This thread has been around for a few years. There are some excellent posts here and I thought they would be useful now.</p>

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<p>Great posts! While I understand that colleges (or BS's) have the rights to select whoever they want to select for the legitimate reason of building a "well-rounded class", efforts should be made to reduce the uncertainty in the process. It is a valuable lesson to teach young people that not being selected is not necessarily a failure, and that there are things in your life you can't control, but we also don't want them to be cynical thinking no matter how hard you try or what you have achieved you are "born" not to be able to reach some goals.</p>

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<p>With March 10 nearly here, I thought it was time to bump this thread up.</p>

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<p>shelly14 has been bumping up this thread for a number of years, but perhaps she isn’t following this board now.</p>

<p>Anyway, this is a good discussion for placing your admissions decisions in perspective.</p>

<p>Good luck to all the applicants!</p>