my parents are very very controlling and have been picking all of my electives dismissing all of my pleas for things that i like since middle school. i’m going to be a senior in high school after summer and they’ve also chosen my electives. i hate the things they choose for me making school very miserable for me. now i’m just about to apply for college and they want me to be a computer scientist or a doctor. i really do not want to do any of that. if i tell them i dont, my parents scream, threaten and insult me. theyre really not your typical loving parents. I’ve yet to decide on a major im interested since i fell into despair after i couldn’t get my parents to accept that i wanted to do art. but i recently realized letting my parents decide my future is not something im going to live with.
can they pick your major for you on your college application? my friend said it was illegal. please help.
Are they paying for your college?
Maybe your parents are just wanting the best for you. Majoring in the arts is a difficult industry and they probably only want you to have a back up plan. Maybe you can compromise. Minor in arts while majoring in something they want you to. Maybe you can pitch in with the tuition and double major. It’s difficult because they have a right to say what they are spending their money on. Maybe you could keep art as a passionate hobby and join clubs offered. Really be grateful that you are getting the opportunity to go to college on their dime.
Being financially by another party ALWAYS cones w strings attached.
If they withdraw their support if you pick a major they don’t approve, then they are effectively choosing your major for you.
Anyways, you don’t need to major in art to work in that field. Your portfolio demonstrates your artistic abilities better than a degree. And like brijetz17 said, you can always minor, double major, or simply take random art classes that interest you.
Maybe you could compromise and ask about a business major or something else that is practical. An art major could possibly leave you with similar job prospects as someone without a college degree. Try to find something else you are interested in that is more practical, and suggest that to your parents. If you pay for your own college then they have no say, but if they would withdraw financial support if you choose an art major, they can effectively choose your major.
On a side note, what you write on your college application really doesn’t define what your major in college unless they have separate schools for each discipline
I’ve had lots of friends in positions like this, and they usually did one of the following:
- Majored in a parent-approved major and moved on with their lives. Some ended up continuing in that field, while others pursued things they wanted to do after graduating (like art/acting/fashion design).
- Compromised and found some middle-ground major that they and their parents both accepted
- Double majored with one major being parent-approved and the other major in something they really wanted to do
If your parents are paying for your education, then they can choose to withdraw their support at anytime. Whether or not they actually will depends on your parents, but if they have a history of being controlling, it sounds like a possibility if you decide to disregard their wishes. If you don’t want your parents to control your future anymore, then you need to start working towards becoming financially independent. Until then, they get some say in what they are spending their money on, and if they think you are wasting it, then they are allowed to stop paying.
I’m all for people pursuing things that they like, but you also have to be realistic. What are you planning on doing with an art major? Have you looked into career prospects with that degree? Perhaps you should and then share your findings with your parents. If you have a solid plan of how you are going to support yourself after college and how this degree in particular is what you need, then perhaps your parents will be more amenable. If you can’t come up with that plan, then perhaps you should consider majoring in something that your parents approve of and pursue your interests on the side. You can still develop your art skills and take art classes, in addition to your major classes. I know of one person who went into something like graphic design or animation as a compromise when he wanted to major in art and his parents wanted him to major in computer science. Perhaps, you could find a compromise major that satisfies you both.
Shiiiiiiii you’re going to college for free it’s the least you could do. You are only entitled to your choice of major If you are paying for it 100%. Your parents are paying for your college 100%, some control over your major is absolutely reasonable
thank you everyone, i think i’ll double major if i can’t find a major that both my parents and i are agree on.
Or you could actually go to college for free if you have high enough stats for a full ride to a school. Then you don’t have to worry about the financial obligation
Talk to them. Explain to them why you want to do what you want to do. Research career opportunities for the majors your interested in. You could always double major or minor if that would go over more smoothly. Also most of the time you can put “undecided” on your application. Good luck
^Just an idea–if your parents want you to go into computer science and you want to go into art, what about thinking about something like animation as a career? It’ll combine both and it probably pays well ^-^. If I were in your position, I’d double-major. It’s always good to have a backup plan, anyways.