<p>I’m not exactly the most qualified person to answer your question–as an incoming first year, I haven’t spent much time on campus yet and the boy thing isn’t a problem for me as I’m gay. BUT I would definitely do the WoD thing. You get to visit campus and it’s largely free–honestly, why not? Even if it turns out Smith isn’t your cup of tea, you still got to visit a gorgeous campus (for free!) and there are plenty of things to check out around Smith–the art museum, NoHo, etc.</p>
<p>Re: parents, I can completely relate. My parents–and the rest of my family/friends/etc., honestly–aren’t really sold on the women’s college thing. They’re convinced I’m doomed to never dating ever and that I’ll turn into a lesbian. (I’m closeted…which is lots of fun.) At the same time though–and after I’ve spent a year wearing them down–they recognize that Smith is a great school and that it’s practically a match made in Heaven for me, so they’re letting me give it a go. Chances are, you’ll be able to wear down your parents too if you do end up loving Smith or another women’s college. Right now that, I wouldn’t worry. Take it one step at a time. :]</p>
<p>I would still go and visit Smith, especially if you’re unsure. Your parent’s reactions are pretty normal, and I should warn you that if you choose to go to a woman’s college, you’re going to get that reaction from a lot of people. Some of your friends may not understand and they will probably give you flack about “turning gay,” your parents may not understand (though I garauntee you they will come around). </p>
<p>But just remember it’s not about them understanding why you chose to go where you chose to go, it’s about you understanding it and feeling comfortable with it. One of the best things about going to college is getting to make a decision that’s right for you, based on your own autonomous choice, and regardless of where your friends are going/where your family wants you to go. I know it’s hard, but remember that you have a complete right to be selfish about this one decision. </p>
<p>And anyway, like aj said, take it one step at a time. Go and visit, you may hate it and then that’s that. You may love it, but the financial aid package may not be to your liking and that will be that. But it sounds like you’re at least curious, so why not go and see?</p>
<p>^ Actually, one of my close friends is in love with Wellesley, so that shouldn’t be nearly as problematic. I don’t particularly care about non-friends’ opinions.</p>
<p>I would go visit Smith, it is definitely worth it! I believe once you step foot on campus, you will change your mind about crossing it off your list!</p>
<p>I can hear how conflicted you are, Keilexandra. I wish your parents weren’t against the idea of a women’s college. I view my daughter’s college experience as a chance to expand her intellectual and social horizons, grow as an individual, gain greater self-reliance and independence, not meet a man to marry (referring to your mother’s fear you are “doomed to be single.”) Besides, you would not be cloistered. There are men in the vicinity. Plenty of my daughter’s straight, introverted housemates had boy-friends.</p>
<p>Your father’s concern about it being “unnatural” made me smile. For years, coed was considered “unnatural”!! There is nothing natural or unnatural about any gender blend. No one setting is right for everyone. </p>
<p>The only way for you to know is to visit, spend some time on campus. There’s a very good chance your parents would feel much better about Smith (or any women’s college) if they visited. I know I did. For different reasons I was not enthused about Smith. It was where my daughter wanted to go. I trusted her instincts and took a huge, expensive leap of faith. Seeing my daughter blossom in an ideal environment has made a believer out of me. </p>
<p>If it would help for your parents to talk to another parent of a Smithie, please have them PM me with any questions or concerns. </p>
<p>This is not easy, I know. You are approaching the process in an intelligent fashion. Keep reaching out and asking questions. Good luck!</p>
<p>Like Je Ne Said Quoi, I wasn’t thrilled at first with the idea of single gender colleges. In fact, my own high school advisor urged me to look at Smith and Wellesley – and I thought that was the most sexist thing she could have said to me. (Well, it was sexist, because she said something about “not having to compete with men.”) When my daughter’s turn came to apply to college, HER advisor urged her to look at all-women’s colleges, and my reaction was about the same, although watered down. Why should a student go to an all-women’s college when society is co-ed? Five minutes on the Bryn Mawr campus changed my mind. Even my husband became a convert.</p>
<p>Smith allows girls to become women in an academically rigorous but largely non-competitive environment. They develop self-confidence, and they learn to take chances. My daughter would not be the same woman she is now without Smith. I have no doubt about that. And FWIW, she just returned from a summer scientific research program at another university where she worked closely with men without her thinking it was strange or awkward. That part of the worries for your parents should be tossed aside. </p>
<p>But you may hate Smith, just as you may hate any college you visit. Right now, your goal should be to assemble the best list possible. The advantage of including one or more women’s colleges on your list is that they are, for well-qualified students, admissions near-safeties that offer educations and reputations similar to other elite institutions that are much more difficult to get into. This is especially important for women who have the stats to get into Ivies or Amherst/Williams because the odds are low for acceptance at those other schools. The funny thing is that many current Smithies used Smith as a near-safety, only to find themselves turning down what they originally thought were their first choices for Smith. My D’s freshman roommate turned down an Ivy for Smith. And she wasn’t the only one who did. </p>
<p>But you did need to find out if Smith is right for you.</p>
<p>My father did visit Bryn Mawr for an afternoon (walked around with a friend, current student who loves it–no formal info session or tour) and was unimpressed. But he is difficult to impress. He couldn’t find anything -wrong- with BMC per se, save that it was a women’s college.</p>
<p>Anyway, I’ve written both the short answer and the essay for the WoD app, so I just need to stay convinced until school starts in three weeks. And my college counselor is gung-ho for Bryn Mawr, so she will probably be supportive.</p>
<p>You might not believe this from what you read of me in this forum, but <em>I</em> am difficult to impress. Skeptical and sometimes acerbic curmudgeon is my general M.O. People, food, wine, books, performances…I always see the negatives as much as the positive. I’m impressed with Smith.</p>
<p>Perhaps I shouldn’t say this, but an advantage of a woman’s college for you might be to be your own woman with your father, as I am sure you already are. Just a thought.</p>
<p>A funny aside. My husband fell in love with Smith immediately. So did my D’s roomie’s dad. They were both devastated that the girls chose Barnard.</p>
<p>My H even went so far to ask, “Is D self destructive? to chose Barnard over Smith?” Well, that was a little silly, but some dads do love Smith.</p>
<p>PS My D absolutely made the right choice for herself, and I’m sure you eventually will too.</p>
<p>Keilexandra, my D is bookish and introverted and will be attending Smith this fall! I’m hoping that the energetic and nurturing environment at Smith will get her out of her room more often :)</p>
<p>I do have a point of comparison between Bryn Mawr and Smith that you may wish to consider. Some LACs, including BM, Davidson and Wellesley have a track record of ‘grade deflation’ which we did not see at Smith, Oberlin, JHU and some other schools we considered. If you plan on attending graduate school later, GPA does matter. I’ve been on admissions committees for grad programs in biomedical sciences for years, and a GPA of 3.8 will be considered much better than 3.2 and it will not matter is the student is from BM or Smith. All other things being equal, it made sense to us to avoid schools where it is widely acknowledged that As are given out rarely.</p>
<p>“This is especially important for women who have the stats to get into Ivies or Amherst/Williams because the odds are low for acceptance at those other schools. The funny thing is that many current Smithies used Smith as a near-safety, only to find themselves turning down what they originally thought were their first choices for Smith. My D’s freshman roommate turned down an Ivy for Smith.”</p>
<p>My d. turned down Williams for Smith, and, frankly, for her, the decision wasn’t really close. The academic opportunities were clearly superior at Smtih.</p>
<p>I am definitely an introvert. While I didn’t have many male friends while at Smith (though I did meet people during summer internships and kept in touch with people from high school, and hung out with the boyfriends and friends of my Smith friends), I also didn’t really make any sort of effort (I think I only went to UMass 2 or 3 times in my 4 years at Smith, usually for blood drives, and I didn’t hang out at Amherst or Hampshire, though I did take classes there).</p>
<p>So, was I doomed to a nunnery upon graduation? Do I get freaked out talking to men? NO. I have friends who are guys, my boss is male, and I did just fine in a competitive grad school where 55% of my class were men. What Smith did give me is a tight network of female friends, both my own age (I understand why people like the TV show Sex & The City so much…it’s really fun to go out for a drink and chat with ‘the girls’) and alumnae from decades and generations past. Last Friday, the Smith Club in my town went out for dinner and to see Julie & Julia. We ranged from the class of 1954 to the class of 2008, and we talked about our jobs, grad school, kids, boyfriends, movies we liked, cooking, etc. It’s amazing to have the opportunity to get to know women who’ve done so many interesting things and are at so many different stages in their lives. Smith gave me a lot in the 4 years I spent there, but the connections to women are something that will last a lifetime. And they don’t preclude forming strong relationships with men.</p>
<p>mythmom - I suppose it doesn’t show very much on this thread, but I rebel–vehemently–against many of my parents’ ideas. I’m sure they wish I was already less of my “own woman.”</p>
<p>“My mom thinks that introvert + women’s college = doomed to be single.”</p>
<p>ok, well not permanently, but as far as your campus experience, they are just looking at the numbers and computing the odds.</p>
<p>It is not unusual for parents to be very concerned about the social well-being of their kids.</p>
<p>IMO you be should be doing a similar computation for yourself, not reflexively dismissing their input.</p>
<p>There are relative strong points and weak points to be weighed in every college matriculation decision. I think the likely prospective social situation at each school is a factor that should legitimately be considered, and usually is. Of course it is not the only factor, and after a weighing of pluses and minuses many people still decide to pick a situation that may appear to have some relative minuses, because the pluses so far outweigh them. while others may prioritize differently.</p>
<p>But IMO it would be unwise to be confident that these ratios will have no implication for you. Whether that alone should drive your decision is another matter, about which reasonable people may differ, depending on how important they feel this particular aspect is for them. Where your parents stand on it is evident.</p>
<p>“Mini, can you elaborate on the academic opportunities?”</p>
<p>Her areas were music, and specifically early music and opera, and between the Five-College Opera Consortium (to which she was tied as a STRIDE scholar, and did research work which led directly to her fellowship at Princeton), early music performance program and opportunities for both strings and voice, composition seminars, and Smith’s facilitating her joining an orchestra in Florence while she was abroad, the opportunities at Williams (which are pretty good for LACs) paled in comparison. She also took four years of Italian (in which she is fluent); at Williams, the most you can take is three semesters total, and there are no electives, which means you can’t even qualify for the most intense year-abroad opportunities. (And there are very few extracurricular activities in the language, as there are very, very few students.) And Smith’s Center in Florence has been there since 1927.</p>
<p>Regardless of whether you go to an all-girls school or not, if you’re bookish and introverted and aren’t willing to jump out of your shell, you won’t meet very many guys. Sort of a fact of life. All-girls will make it harder, but people do manage.</p>