You say, “geesh…college Is a great time to spread your wings and live somewhere different” and that it drives you nuts that so many kids don’t consider out of state options. Why were you so initially intent then on “convincing our son to go to the state flagship” ?
Most students will be dependent on financial aid or scholarships to attend college (or will have to choose a college within a parental price limit, even if they would not be able to get financial aid). Most of them do not have the academic credentials to get into many of the best-financial-aid private colleges or earn large-enough merit scholarships at out-of-state public colleges. So their out-of-state choices (public or private) may be relatively limited. (Unfortunately, those in some states like Pennsylvania are likely to find that their in-state publics may not be that affordable either.)
It is different for those who do have the academic credentials that make it realistic to consider the best-financial-aid private colleges and large-enough merit scholarships at out-of-state public colleges. Or even more so if the parents are willing to pay list price anywhere.
Even the same student may get more out of his/her comfort zone within the same state than going out-of-state. For example, a student from Vancouver, WA may find that going to college in Seattle, WA or Pullman, WA to be more of a change of scenery than going to college in Portland, OR.
Going from an urban area to an urban area in another state (or rural to rural) may not be as much of a change of scenery as going from an urban area to a rural area (or rural to urban) in the same state.
Colleges in the same part of the same state may have different scenery in other ways. For example, many Alabama students may find that at least one of AAMU and UAH would be a big change in scenery from where they grew up.
@ucbalumnus You point out the reality of the situation for most. In-state is what most can afford and what makes practical sense. Where I live we have some 4 year colleges that are commutable for kids. While I will agree that the best case scenario if for kids to go off to college away from home, which is usually 3+ hours away that is not always feasible.
I will always forgo the true college experience to keep from overburdening the kids with loans. I know some people that are going out of state or going to private colleges when a comparable cheaper situation was available usually in-state. I guess people don’t mind spending $10-15K per year more or borrowing that amount.
The reality is only a handful of kids can make a OOS flagship cheaper than their own or at least come close to it. Or have the money where the private university is affordable.
As a chemical engineering major has he considered University of Delaware? One of the best programs in the entire country, and their merit packages are very generous. Plus a top notch honors program. Worth a look!
There’s a simple answer to that. It’s “NO.” A dream has to be grounded in fact or reality, otherwise it’s really a fantasy. I could dream of owning a Ferrari, but my wallet tells me NO all the time. Money is a simple fact of life, and it’s a precondition before you even apply. if you can’t afford Columbia, then there’s nothing further to discuss. It’s not affordable now, and won’t be affordable then. He’s not going…tough noogies. That doesn’t mean there’s not a ton of great affordable options available.
@sevmom For the record, I did not start this thread. The moderator pulled it out of another as many responses really were pulling away from the OP.
You are taking that statement of mine out of context. My son wants engineering. With what he wants, the state flagship is an outstanding choice. For many of his friends, it might not be, but they don’t even look.
I am agnostic on which college he chooses. My earlier questions were related to ways my son could be VERY excited about our flagship. That’s all.
@ucbalumnus Absolutely. But many I know with the stats and the resources still don’t look outside the walls. Their choice, certainly, but not something I would encourage for any of my kids.
@cypresspat You mention other kids at your high school with similar stats and possible interest in engineering. Are any of them applying to Cornell ED? What is your high school’s relationship with Cornell? Have they taken kids ED or RD in the past. The more I see stats, the more I am convinced that the student’s high school is very important. Our Naviance is spot on for top 20 schools. And, when multiple kids apply to one of them ED, each of the top schools has a plan as to who they take. Either they take the legacies and/or the recruited athletes. Or maybe they take 2 to 3 kids each year and have to decide between very similar high stat kids. Cornell? Looks like they take 2-3 ED from our school. In the last four years, they’ve ALL been recruited athletes. Then they take another one or two RD. My point is that you should talk to your guidance counselor and see what you can find out. Maybe have your S see if he can fess out who else may be applying. Of course, there is nothing you can do about Cornell’s plan for your school or who else is applying. And your son could be one of those accepted of course. But it’s good to get the lay of the land.
This year, we had two Princeton legacies apply and get in. Both with considerably lower stats than the other kids who applied. Like WAY lower. Both sets of parents are alums who spend time at P and donate. One of the girls who was turned down was second in our class of 700 and her sister is at P. She had no chance after those legacies got in. Princeton has taken zero or one student for the last four years and, with these two legacies applying, it probably didn’t matter who else applied. They weren’t getting in.
Another example - at Vanderbilt. Two legacies got in ED. Both with eh scores (31, 32 ACT) and some rigor but not top ten percent kids. Everyone in RD was waitlisted or denied but one engineering student who was accepted. Our S and two of his friends (all 1540+, tons of rigor, very high GPAs and very strong and broad ECs with leadership) were all waitlisted. Two of them got off the waitlist on the first release of names. I believe they were the only two who took the waitlist option. S19 did not. AND, this scenario has been exactly the same for at least the last three years. Legacies get in. High stat kids in RD get waitlisted and then the ones who take the spot get in.
My point is that colleges have a plan for a high school and stick to it…unless there’s a year where their strategy changes and we’ve seen this as well (with Northwestern and Notre Dame most recently). So, I would see what I can find out from your GC.
@coolguy40 well, here sits a very grateful parent who doesn’t need to say no to her child on this one.
@homerdog His GC told him, months ago, that Cornell (and Georgia tech) are the two best fits for him. (tOSU is a known good fit). We have one recruited athlete ‘committed’ to Cornell for next year, but that is pretty rare. Our HS is hardly an athlete machine. No legacies in the past five years for Cornell. Of the 7 headed to HYPS this year, one is a legacy; no athletes. If there is a plan for these schools, unclear what the naviance pattern tells me. I do notice that we send zero to Penn (but hardly any apply). This year was one of the better success years for the high stats kids, our GC (the dept chair) tells me. He has no idea why but he’ll take it.
@cypresspat sounds good! Can you see how many Cornell has taken from your school over the years?
Guidance counselors, coaches, relatives , friends, etc. who claim a certain high priced option is the best fit are not paying the bill. Very easy to make suggestions when it is not your money!
For the vast majority of potential college students, fit starts with affordability.
I think if you try to “bribe” him it’s likely to have the opposite effect. If you really think the state school is great then let it stand on its own merits. If you have to promise him a “fancy car,” an “extra-awesome semester abroad,” or the ability to afford any internship he wants if he attends OSU and you wouldn’t give him those things if he attends Cornell the message is that OSU on it’s own isn’t as good. Why should he be excited about that?
What kids get out of college has a lot to do with what they put in. If OSU is a solid school, he’ll be fine. His brother seems to have done okay.
So at my son’s school when we had “the talk” with him and his counselor they would never suggest a school we couldn’t afford. Yes, they asked some financial basic questions. They really tried to pair kids with matches /safeties that actually gave good merit. We had reaches like Cornell and Berkeley on the list and my sons counselor was like “Good luck on those” but do you plan to sell your house to afford it… Lol. He didn’t know about our 529 plans etc but his point was well taken.
I wouldn’t call it bribe but if he can have money in the bank VS debt I would take that any day of the week.
We live on a farm in rural MN. Going to the flagship in downtown Minneapolis? LOL Pretty big “out of the comfort zone” experience there! Like HUGE. Go way north to Duluth on the north shore of Lake Superior? Yeah. Different world than here. His out of state choice in Iowa is the closest match to life where he is now.