So, how are all the parents doing now that their kids are off at school? I know that mine started school earlier than most, so she has been away for four weeks now! Of course I knew I would miss her, but this is hard at times! I LOVE that I can hear the joy in her voice when we talk about where she is and I LOVE that she isn’t homesick, but my goodness I miss her! I’ll be perfectly honest and say that I have cried some because of missing her, especially when I missed her very first high school volleyball game. I have not missed a single volleyball game since 3rd grade! Not a single one. That was hard!
I hear you, @RuralAmerica! Go to the website of the school they’re playing and look to see if they live stream games. Some schools do. You may also check with the coach to see if he/she is willing to set up live streaming. All they need is an account and a camera with a tripod.
In terms of coping techniques, I just numbed myself binge-watching the original Gilmore Girls. It didn’t work too well.
@ruralamerica I totally understand your sense of loss at missing out on watching your child play sports etc… When our older kids went to prep school across the country, I felt exactly the same way. When it became apparent our younger 2 would follow suit. I moved 30 minutes away from the school- a little drastic- but totally worth it for us.
You might also see if you can meet other parents of players that live close by, I often text photos to other parents of their kids playing or prom photos etc…
The joy you can hear in her voice makes it all worth it! At least, in my opinion it does…when I talk to Boy I can tell how good this experience is for him. Of course, I’ve always been the mom that looked for any excuse NOT to go to her kid’s games, but I can watch now on Go Bleachers, which is perfect for me. 
Does her school offer anything like that?
@RuralAmerica Missing games (and watching practices) is one of the things I miss most. We live just a bit too far away to see anything unless I fly in specifically or it is parent’s weekend. I stalk the web site for game writeups etc. Most schools have a section on the grade report for a lengthy summation of the season and a writeup on your kid specifically. It is not enough.
@vegas1 As a parent who has been “gifted” photos etc from other parents at the scene, I am grateful to parents like you who think of us!
Thank you everyone for your words of advice and suggestions! Unfortunately the games aren’t streamed, but I have received a few pictures and they are amazing! Our AWESOME AO actually sent me some from a home game, knowing I would love to see her playing!
@GoatMama maybe binge watching Gilmore Girls wasn’t the best show option!!! I’m sure that one might do me in. I did start watching Stranger Things though and that has proven to be pretty good!
@vegas1 I need to friend some parents just like you!
@gusmom2000 they don’t offer anything like that. Boo! I have always been a pretty low key parent, except for watching her games! I’ve always loved watching her play! I honestly thought this would he just like the 6 weeks she spends at camp and on vacation with grandparents over the summer…she is a pretty independent kid and I’ve always let her be. This has proven to be a bit harder!
@london203 I completely stalk the page for the write ups! Occasionally a picture might accompany the write up and then it’s like the jackpot! I’m 19 hours away by car, so flying in for specific reasons is the only way I’d be out there for anything too!
Thanks for opening up this thread ruralamerica… So glad I’m not alone and I’m one of the lucky ones… We live just a couple hours away from our freshman so we’ve seen her about twice a week for the past month. But I am still finding it depressing so be so excited for a 5 minute chat in between volleyball games and then an awkward somewhat public visit in her dorm room, or a 1 hour meal with her in a restaurant because she has to be back for check in. It feels like I am visiting someone in prison. What happened to our days of lounging on the couch reading books uninterrupted? I knew what we were getting into but am finding myself limping along and checking the school website for any sign of her. I miss our life together. Somebody remind me this all pays off?
The payoff came for me in a 45-minute phone call from ChoatieCorporal this week. He had some free time and just wanted to catch me up on how things were going. Toward the end of the conversation, he said that he is just beginning to truly understand the magnitude of his BS education which he now sees as “four years of college without the degree.” He talked about the many “aha” moments he had in classes at Choate and the study skills, discipline, and general rigor that he didn’t always care for at the time but he thanks God for now. He said, “Mom, I know how to write, I know how to analyze, I how to think on my feet. I learned to be organized and that’s saving my life here. I don’t struggle with the logistics. I know how to plan and execute, and I know how to be strategic with my energy. And the academics? Easy compared to Choate.” Those are words I remember, but he said a lot of other things about how his preparation is paying off not only academically, but also in terms of rising to the unique challenges of the relentlessness of academy life, and I can clearly see that, somewhere along the way, he also learned resilience and perseverance and humility. Our young adult is in easy possession of traits and skills, both hard and soft, that were hard won during the sometimes painful transformation process in BS, but he owns them now, and he is generous with his time in helping others who didn’t have this benefit.
Our son is not one for mush, so it kinda took my breath away when he ended with, “I know Choate was a big sacrifice for you and dad, and I don’t know what the right dollar figure is for that kind of education, but I want you to know that I appreciate it and will never take it for granted.”
So, yeah, there is a payoff, but it may not be obvious right away and you may never be able to quantify it. Just keep those tissues handy for when those transformational moments sneak up on you.
^^^The boarding school parent’s payoff. <3 I hope, for your sake, that it was worth the time without him. I hope, for all our sakes, that we all get the same payoff and feel, at the end of it all, that it was worth it. (And you were right when you said that it gets harder every year. Sniffle.)
^^^ Heck. I need tissues handy for YOUR transformational moments, @ChoatieMom. Excellent post and so nice to read.
I don’t know that I’ll ever be able to honestly answer “yes” to that. It’s probably best that we can’t know the future because, had I known he would choose the military, I’m not so sure I would have allowed him to leave home at 14. He’s not coming home for Thanksgiving this year and, if he gets his first choice of summer assignments, we’ll only see him one week next summer. That hole in my heart is getting big enough to drive a tank through.
I feel lost with mine gone: I have nothing to do (besides work). Very little laundry, cleaning etc. As for payoff its come already: I am already seeing my child change and grow, struggle and succeed, fear and overcome.
Our first 2 kids attended boarding school in NH while we lived in Las Vegas. I literally hated every second they were gone. This lasted 3 years. The summer before our sons senior year, we made huge sacrifices to move across the country and live 30 minutes away from the kids. We picked a choice town- to allow the kids the option to be boarders or day students.
My husband continues to commute back and forth. I left behind family and friends and moved out of the only place I had ever called home. We had 2 middle schoolers who had their hearts set on following their siblings to the same school, and I knew I couldn’t bear for all of them to be across the country from me.
Both our younger kids did end up attending the school and are extremely happy there. They think they have the best of both worlds, they live with their friends and get to spend time with pets and family when they choose. As I sat with my son watching my daughters game on campus today- it struck me how this sacrifice was totally worth it for us.
Of course our older 2 are now off in college in various states and we ask ourselves where we will move in 3 years when our youngest graduates high school. I have enjoyed my time on the east coast and really do love it here. It has been a huge adventure for us as well as our kids. We keep joking we are going to follow our youngest to college to- which of course we don’t plan on doing. Even with living so close, I still miss out on the daily joys of being a parent.
One way I’m coping: lurking on CC a lot! AppleKid isn’t providing too many updates and clearly isn’t in need of mom’s help, so staying active on CC sort of makes me feel more connected. Sort of. 
Coping when one’s offspring is injured…that’s the toughest. Got his bell rung pretty good in a football game, spent a night in the hospital, now is on “brain rest”. I sent a dozen long stemmed Resse’s Cups. I know he’s in good hands, and every time I talk to him he sounds better. The school has been the best…I think hubs and I have had no less that 15 calls each, plus what on our answering machine at home. It’s back to classes as he can tolerate today. No more football ever. (this is his second concussion in less than a year.)
@gusmom2000 So sorry to hear about this but happy to hear how great the school has been. Best energy to guskid and you and hubs.
@gusmom2000 I’m sorry your son got injured. I feel for you, being an athlete’s mom myself. I wish him speedy recovery!
@gusmom2000 Here’s hoping “gu” recovers quickly! Happy to hear the school is keeping you in the loop… when your kid is that far away, and something isn’t right with them, it can be very hard on the parents. Seems like the school understands that.
Ha! I always though it was Gus… Then again, I guess stuff wrong all the time, including CC members’ gender (unless there is a “mom” or “dad” in the name).