Cost = Ouch

Parents Forum
21

<p>First of all, going to a flagship state University like OSU is not the same thing as commuting to the local state U satellite. Any place you're living on campus which includes people from other places than your home town is horizon expanding. You don't need to go across the country for that. No reason to grind an axe at Crazyandy's expense.</p>

<p>CA--if you're not happy at VT, and expenses are not great, those are good reasons for transfering. There is no reason to stick it out to prove anything to anyone. </p>

<p>I second what Carolyn said about the maturity of fixing a mistake. My D went through this, and beat herself up about whether to transfer or not (no one likes to admit a mistake), but she did, and she was very happy with the result. College shouldn't be something you grit your teeth and get through, if there are better alternatives that are available to you.</p>

22

<p>So I had the talk with my parents. They said they thought I made the right college choice, but when I explained the situation with them, mom hit me on the head and said I should have gone with my gut and went to WVU! </p>

<p>Of course, I'm on the phone with OSU and WVU today to see if either school will grant me credit for my engineering credits. Things look promising, but no one can give me any definate answers. I don't want to be further behind that I need to be, since I plan on doing the 5 year co-op experience wherever I go.</p>

<p>Thanks to everyone for their posts. I asked for comments as well as criticisms and I appreciate hearing both sides of the issues. It's not that I want anyone to tell me what I 'want' to hear, I just am looking for different sides of the argument so that I can make an informed decision, and I thank you all very much for that.</p>

<p>So no word on where I'll go. I was impressed with both OSU and WVU's programs. I liked OSU's biomedical engineering minor and WVU's forensics major. Parents would rather see me at West Virginia, since I was originally going to go there. Rebellious me chose otherwise. And as my dad told me, it's not like where you go to college is going to dictate your life, it's what program you choose to follow and how well you do that counts. I won't have any problems getting into either WVU or OSU luckily! QPA was very good last semester!</p>

<p>Thanks again! :)</p>

23

<p>congratulations, CA. Looks like you and your parents had a really level-headed discussion about the whole thing. And your last line underscores the importance of keeping up grades even when you're unhappy at a school--good work!</p>

24

<p>I hope many of the rising freshmen read this thread. CA, you are to be congratulated. Everyone has disagreements with their parents at your age, butting heads is all part of it. You seem to have made a wrong choice, but you have recognized that, and in a mature way, you are taking charge of the problem - a lesson many kids here should remember. I'm glad you talked to your parents in a mature way as well, regardless of whether they are paying or not, they still want you to make the best choice for you.</p>

25

<p>CA, Thanks for the update. I think you can be proud of yourself for the way you are handling this. Good luck - and let us know what happens!</p>

26

<p>Well really quickly, I'll put an end to the thread. After 3 weeks of talks with my parents, I decided to stay at Tech! We got to the source of my problems and they were strictly financial. Thought I was gonna live in a low-income house for the first few years but my Dad showed me how things would be and things aren's so scary. So with that said, and seeing cost in OH skyrocket since our governor is an idiot and doesn't even know how to spell education, staying at Tech is still quite a steal. Thanks for all the help tho!</p>

27

<p>Agree wholeheartedly that Taft is an idiot! Why can't we get a damn casino in the flats or warehouse district? I hate having to drive to Niagara or Detroit/Windsor just to play some slots.</p>

28

<p>I've given much thought to this because my own son is going to attend school less than 30 minutes from home - Penn. However, I hardly think that it'll feel like the "same old diner, same old gas station" scenario outlined above. How on earth can a place where students are coming in from all over the world feel the same? And, how does one "see the world" (kirmum's post) by simply going to one other city for school. If he had decided to go to Cambridge, would he be "seeing the world" - no - he'd be seeing Cambridge 24/7. Seeing the world comes with study abroad, summer travel, etc..which can and should be done no matter what. Now, maybe attending a school like Williams would have given him a varied prespective on "environments" by it being so remote - but so is the island of Jost van Dyke where we're spent lots of time. It probably also makes a difference where you live. I know that my son isn't experiencing Philadelphia the way a college student would. He still needs driving directions to get downtown or to Penn's campus. If we lived in Williamstown and he was planning on attenidng Williams, things would probably feel different.</p>

<p>It's funny....a few months ago the CC parents had the "geographic selection" discussion where many were of the opinion that a college campus does not reflect the values and feel of the surrounding area because of the diversity of the students on the campus. If that's true, it doesn't matter whether your campus is 10 or 10,000 miles away.....life is going to be very different (assuming you will ive on campus - living at home is a different story). </p>

<p>I guess I would be more concerned if I had a kid who had never traveled or had any desire to travel. But for a kid who knows how to use a Eurailpass with cousins his age to hop a night ferry from Italy to Greece, etc, I don't think it's a problem. Such kids are going to see the world, regardless of where we plant them for 4 years. </p>

<p>You just have to know your child.....and know whether you need to give them the kick or not. Mine wants to head to Amsterdam for this year;'s spring break...and has already advised that he has enough FF miles to do it. (sigh)</p>

29

<p>You can transfer right now and save the cost of the Spring semester at tech.Imean, the paperwork will take some time but if you have not paid for the Spring you could withdraw and take a few classes at your local c.c.. Life is short and debt is real.</p>

30

<p>No moving for me. I got big plans for myself at Tech and there's no turning back after this discussion. Plus, the debt HAS to be paid off in I believe 8 or 10 years, and my dad showed me that with being an engineer, I'd live just like my parents live now while paying the debt. If I really wanted to live like a king, I would take ur suggestion, but where's the fun in that? I wanna be who I wanna be. Debt isn't as huge or as scary now after seeing it all on paper. thanks again, all!</p>

31

<p>Momsdream, one issue that often comes up with some kids who go to school "in their backyards" is that some of those kids have trouble separating. My friend was thrilled to have her son going to schoo so close. Imagined family dinners togethers, gatherings, visiting for school events. What she got were impromptu visits from the son to the house at HIS convenience with his friends. Not only that, he was hanging with some of his old highschool friends who were commuting or also going to local schools and the concern was that he was not putting the time into making the college community his new world. So she had to really put down some rules after coming home one too many time to a house full of young men. </p>

<p>But most kids who leave home to go live at school are more than happy to plunge into that new life, and the parents report that they do not see those kids any more than if they had gone hours away.</p>

32

<p>Crazyandy, you're right , 3-4 hours away and less debt sounds completely reasonable, and your maturity at taking on your own college and grad school expenses is very impressive and belies the notion that you are "clinging."</p>

<p>Calmom: one must take this on a kid-by-kid basis. </p>

<p>My D wanted to stay in our area, initially, due to a combination of factors primarily (1) fear, (2) much older local <em>boyfriend</em> (who now, four months later, & thanks to great CC advice, has bitten the dust.)</p>

<p>Maybe others would handle this differently, but looking at our D we both felt staying so close to home would be bad for her ( and not just because of the BF.)</p>

<p>My H & I said: go <em>anywhere</em> that's more than 300 miles from home & we will pay for it (though we really urged her to go FAR AWAY because we felt it was very important for her personal growth due to all sorts of "long story" issues; for her college is going to be a desperately-needed "outward bound" experience...) We also said that if she was not happy in her college we would support a transfer anywhere, including our area, after one year. Further, we offered her the option of a gap year somewhere in our area if she really did not feel ready for college. So we were firm but we weren't utterly mean about it.</p>

<p>She applied to one school slightly inside the 300 mile zone (a compromise), a few just outside, and the rest way outside; she got comfy with the idea and now her favorite school is 2000 miles away...</p>

<p>With my son, who has a different whole history & more confident personality, I am much less concerned that he go away; however <em>he</em> really wants to already.</p>

<p>We felt that if we are paying for college we have a vote. Our vote was not to facilitate her doing what was ill-reasoned and bad for her. As an 18 year old, she could certainly have elected to tell us to jump in the lake and to have applied to state or CC schools in the area (she has some money from a trust from my dad so she could do this.) </p>

<p>For me and my H letting her cling to home would be like letting her elect not to learn to swim. A real disservice to her health and development and ultimately her safety in the world.</p>

<p>Again, it depends on the individual kid and their circumstances.</p>

33

<p>I see Jamimom. That's why you have to know your kid/young adult. I suspect I'll be one of those asking "why doesn't he ever call?" in about a year.</p>

34

<p>That's the preferable route, Momsdream, as the ultimate goal is to get them freestanding. But it can be surprising who ends up doing what. My son who has had trouble leaving the nest (we had to expell him), could not wait to leave home. He was chomping at the bit and it was good riddance , parents, as far as he was concerned. He never called when he went on trips or anywhere as a highschooler. But when he went to college, he found it the social scene preferable where we lived with the kids who were going to local colleges. I was mighty glad that he did not live too near, because he was having waaay to much fun each time he came home. And not with us. I started booking visits shorter and even planned a summer away from him as I became worried about him getting the idea of transferring to a local school and joining the "good life" that the local kid were. They were not working nearly as hard as he was. They had money and a car, and a part time job. And they knew all the social venues and everyone who lived there. They were the kings of the road as far as they were concerned, and S loved their life. Too many serious students at his school, and he was not top of the heap in rep there. He started seeing a girl going to a local college, and that really got me worried. After finishing college, he moved back here and despite a job offer in the Midwest, stuck around here doing odd jobs, making just enough to get by and hanging with many other friends who were at loose ends. After getting himself in some trouble and wreaking havoc in our household, my husband finally threw him out, a terrible trauma for all of us. Was it his last hurrah? Just reluctant to leave the nest? Who knows? But I can tell you that I did not expect him to be the one that would hang on like that, which was why he was able to creep in that way before we realized that it was a problem.</p>

35

<p>Blacksburg is unlikely to expand anyone's horizons very much unless you have never been to Wal-Mart. I've been to both. OSU would be much more diverse. Easily as good for engineering too.</p>

36

<p>Hey Crazy, did anyone ever tell you that you were a throw back to another genereation? Assuming that debt because you want that responsibility? Wanting to secure independence from your parents ASAP? Great GPA first semester? </p>

<p>Hon, you are well on your way to a wonderful adult life. </p>

<p>I'm with your Dad. Don't worry about the loans. A) He might surprise you with a grduation 'gift'. B) If your grades are super-fantastic, press VTech for grants, work-study; ie expand your 'vocab' at the Fin Aid office. :) C) Sign up to be an RA for your junior and senior year. That's a $8K/year savings right there...</p>

37

<p>Regarding getting an MBA... one plan might be to enter the job market at the end of your senior year, then take your MBA at night school. Many companies will pick up the cost. It will take longer to get the MBA, but you'll simultaneously be racking up the experience years needed to get your professional engineering license. You can get a masters degree the same way.</p>