Thanks in advance!
Prompt: Can knowledge be a burden rather than a benefit?
The old adage is that knowledge is power. Thus, it’s no surprise that throughout history, especially during our present day and age where knowledge is pervasive and accessible, knowledge and its accompanying power has been pursued inexorably. However, this sought after knowledge can actually turn out to be a grave burden due to the difficult decision one faces in choosing to utilize this knowledge. Several examples from history illustrate this point.
In the terminal days of WWII, a bloody stain in the history of the world, the newly available knowledge of the atomic bomb presented the US’s neophyte president—Truman—with a great ultimatum. He was presented with a choice; a choice to use this new and enigmatic power in hopes of quickly ending the bloodshed. As the world knows, he chose to drop 2 atomic bombs on Hiroshima and Nagasaki on August 6 and 9, respectively, ushering in a new and dangerous atomic age. This knowledge and its subsequent elicitation of the fatal decision demonstrates the burden of knowledge that arises from the arduous decision to implement it and thus face the consequences.
Another example is also found in WWII: Alan Turing, a brilliant mathematician, and his team’s knowledge of an impending attack on a British vessel and their moral burden in choosing to sacrifice those lives for the greater good. The team of codebreakers had finally cracked the German’s enigma code, but if they alerted the government and military of the impending attack, the Germans would ascertain their breakthrough—hundreds of hours of work down the drain. They were faced with the great moral question: save a few (relatively) or sacrifice those few for the good of many. The knowledge they worked so hard for thus left a bitterness in their mouths. As analysts, they went with the numerically “better” choice and their decision in handling the knowledge was a burden that was left to follow them for the rest of their lives.
Thus, from the analysis of these historical instances, it is clear that knowledge can, because of the difficulty in morally “correctly” implementing it, can be a heavy burden for its ambitious pursuers.
Hi Nothings! Glad to see you’re practicing some more 
I’d give this essay an 11/12. Your use of vocabulary is excellent and your examples from World War II were sufficient and contributed to your overall argument, which is great. You supported these examples with a good explanation. Your introduction included a hook and persuaded me to keep reading it.
Well done!
@FutureDoctor2028 Hey long time no talk and thanks for the critique! Yeah last minute cramming… Again… (⊙﹏⊙). I’m so tired of standardized tests. I told myself I’d be more prepared for the March SAT because I’d study more but that didn’t happen. Oops… 
Dude your score was amazing you didnt need to retake it lmao
@FutureDoctor2028 Yo tell that to my parents. I mean I thought it was okay but there’s definitely a lot of room for improvement (but isn’t that the case with everything?). But my friend is the one who really convinced me lol. Something along the lines of, “Just take it so you don’t regret it.” Which I understand but I’m just really disillusioned with standardized tests and what they stand for. They take up so much of your time and they’re definitely not a measure of intelligence. Sigh.
I could not agree more with that statement. But how else will they know between who’s really challenging themselves at school and who isn’t? Hopefully this will be the last time you take it. Standardized tests are stupid, and bring no benefit, but think of it this way; you’ll be done after this one. I’m sure you’ll get a 2300+ this time. That will be GOLDEN.
It’s ok probably somewhere around the 70th percentile. You’re a little overly focused on vocabulary and coming up with good examples, but your analysis of each is a little shallow. Instead of merely describing the dropping of the atomic bombs dramatically and giving a one line analysis at the end of the paragraph, analysis needs to be more of the focus. Same with the 2nd paragraph too, though it’s a little better. Also never say generically that “history” reveals examples of your point, even in your intro. Try to preview what your points and the morale dilemma knowledge poses in that situation. More variety in examples could help too actually if you can think of something from literature, or mathematics, or something personal that interests you. WWII and the Imitation Game guy are great examples, but since their more mainstream if you use them and since they’re well known you have to go past the obvious when getting to your deep analysis. Good luck, this a strong start, especially for a strictly timed writing where you have very little prep, and honestly for the SAT and ACT writing is the least important part so I wouldn’t stress this too much!
Also it’s a little formulaic; if you can maybe come up with some common thread to transition better that would help. Like “the burden of decision faced by Truman reveals… Blah blah blah about having excess knowledge.(new paragraph) Alan Turing also heroically took the charge of knowledge and the choice of what to do with it during… Blah blah blah (new angle to look at how Turing dealt with the burden and the implications it had)”.
@FutureDoctor2028 Yeah. But the reality of this situation is that I’ll complain and whine, but, in the end, I’ll just go along with it. I mean I don’t see a way to account for the idiosyncrasies of each student so all my griping is pointless. And of course a standard is necessary for university applications, but [insert hackneyed sentiments here]. And I’m just crossing my fingers and praying for a charitable curve…
@Heisenbergyk Thank you for your comments, they’re really appreciated! What does a 70th percentile translate to on a scale of 1-6/1-12? My brain enjoys shutting down when I’m under time constraints, and I freeze up and can’t think of any examples. But bless The Imitation Game 
. But gosh I really need to find a way to keep my brain moving. When I realized I had two examples and they were only from WWII… welp. Normally my examples come exclusively from literature but searching my mental list of books that I could talk about with reasonable comfort didn’t come up with anything. One of my many weak points (besides writing in general) is analysis… Whatever I try to come up with ends up looping round and round without a coherent purpose 
. I think it’s because I try to make it profound and well-supported but it’s really just me bs-ing like mad. Oh, and for analysis would that be more of a focus on Truman’s and Turing and co.'s moral struggle/burden (weighing of consequences) or…? Thanks again!
@Nothings it’s probably btwn a 6-8. For the specific score it probably varies on who grades it, and how it’s normed based on how other students do on the question. For analysis you’d probably want to have two ideas in mind on how knowledge reflects a specific burden for each choice. For example one common point you have about both examples is knowledge creates choices, some which can be extremely difficult (like deciding who lives and dies). Another claim you could make is that knowledge can change who we are, or that knowledge can sometimes cause strain on ones relationship with others… Etc. you might benefit for next time having your ideas drive the examples, instead of vice versa, that way you’re examples are sort of used to analyze your idea and your not summarizing examples too much without bringing them back to the prompt. For example use your point about difficult choices to start your 1st paragraph and cite both Turing and Truman as an examples to support that claim. Then start talking about another point and cite something else that supports your point. Hope this helps!
@Heisenbergyk Ok thank you! I never actually thought about having my ideas drive my examples, but that’s a great point.