come on, give it a shot... grade it, and i grade urs ^^

Test Preparation SAT Preparation
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<p>thanks a thousand times... be kind ^^</p>

<p>assignment: can knowledge be a burden, rather than a benefit (original, right??)</p>

<p>Knowledge gives us power, but it can very well turn into a burden rather than a benefit, when this knowledge is about a difficult yet inevitable consequence of our actions. We can see this in the cases of Abraham Lincoln´s decision to declare war to the south and in Steven Steinbeck´s novel "Of Mice and Men" where there protagonist George is forced to kill his friend. </p>

<p>When Abraham Lincoln was elected President of the United States of America, he knew that his greatest task was to normalize relations with the Southern States. At the same time he knew that a war was almost inevitable, if both sides should insist on their positions regarding slavery. It is said that after his inauguration, he spent an entire night in his office, crying about the fate of the nation. Nevertheless he made the difficult decision that led to the American Civil War, one of the bloodiest and most brutal wars in history, yet one that brought mankind one incredibly big step forward, toward a just and equal society. </p>

<p>Another example of how the knowledge about a difficult decision was an incredible burden, is found in Steven Steinbeck´s novel "Of Mice and Men". George and Lennie, two very good friends start working at a farm. Unfortunately, Lennie is mentally a bit retarded, and cannot differentiate between moral and immoral. Thus, he gets into constant trouble, and George always has to take him and run. When Lennie accidentally kills the wife of the foreworker of the farm, he runs and hide, being chased by all the farmworkers. Now, George knows that Lennie cannot survice this incident, and also that he will never be able to have a normal, peaceful life- not in this world. Thus, he kills him before anyone else gets to him. </p>

<p>In both examples, we can see that knowledge turns into a burden when it coerces difficult decisions from us. If George had not known about the inevitable fate of his friend, he would have never thought of killing him. Similarly, if Abraham Lincoln had not known about the consequences of his actions, then it would have been much easier for him to make the decision of declaring war to the south.
Knowledge can, thus, be a burden. However, to bear this burden anyway, for the sake of others, is what made these men so great!</p>

<p>um, i am native german-speaking, if anyone wonders about obvious, stupid spelling mistakes. i have only had english in school ^^ and live in austria :P thanks for grading it...</p>

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<p>You kind of answered the “can it be a burden” part but you didn’t really address the “rather than a benefit” part. We know that knowledge of the US led Lincoln to declare war, which means the burden was on him to declare war. But that doesn’t necessarily mean it is not a benefit. Are you saying if he didn’t know about the war, it would have been better? You even said the decision led to a better society, which means it was a benefit.</p>

<p>I give it about a 4 because it was complete but you gave too many plot details and used little reasoning…</p>

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<p>well, yh the thing is that we have to take like one side. i mean it is not that i couldn´t write anything clever about it, but everyone says it´s better to stick to the standard and don´t let urself get too complicated… so u think it would be alright to be a little more risky?? i mean it is not that it is controversial but if u really develop a proper point of view on a topic like this you take the risk of being not clear enough- if u have to finish in 25 mins… thanks for the feedback!</p>

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<p>mmm my examples lol
i never graded an essay and dont no how but the first thing i noticed was the first sentence. its very wordy and a comma splice? idk what its called. i agree with crazybandit. i dont know how to grade it but i would also give 3-4 from what i knoew</p>

<p>also for my essay, what can i do to make it at least a 10?</p>

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<p>Think about the prompt this way:</p>

<p>We are asked to consider the merits or faults of knowledge. The status quo in such a situation would be knowledge of the situation. The question is then whether the reduction of knowledge (i.e. addition of ignorance) in this situation would be a boon or a curse.</p>

<p>From this perspective, your examples become rather questionable. If Lincoln had been completely ignorant of his situation, it would not have improved his overall outlook. The knowledge of impending war may have been painful, but ignorance would not have averted conflict (if you can make a conclusive case to the contrary… that should be your essay).</p>

<p>A more convincing example for the “yes” side on this prompt would be one in which the subject has no control over their situation (possibilities include someone with a terminal illness, passengers on the Titanic, officials in For Whom the Bell Tolls awaiting execution, soldiers in combat, etc.) </p>

<p>Hindsight is another interesting possibility from this perspective. Would Oppenheimer have been happier if he had been ignorant of the destruction caused by the bomb?</p>

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<p>I’d give this essay a 1, It’s John Steinbeck not Steven Steinbeck. On a more serious note, I think your examples are somewhat hackneyed because every high school student is familiar with Able Lincoln/Of Mice and men. The essay was decent though, I’d give it a 4</p>

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<p>lol thank god we are not graded by the correctness of our examples, only how well they fit… ok… ur right, i think too that the examples were not too good, but i just graded an essay where they were used, and then i took the lazy way out and didn´t think of my own ^^…
every high school student is familiar with Able Lincoln/Of Mice and men</p>

<p>um, this is not a bad thing… sat essay graders want exactly that, pretty, standard examples, so they don´t have to think about them… i mean at least this is what each and every article said about them. and i am not an american high school student- thank god. i got a proper education :P</p>

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<p>

Not every high school student gets a high SAT score. If you write like the majority, you’ll get their scores.

Your examples can be fairly standard, but they should actually make sense too.</p>