Could someone help proofread my Personal Essay?

<p>PM or post. I need advice to improve my essay, and I'm also wondering whether it answers the question, and whether it is the writing style they're looking for (I'm under the impression that they want a really wordy, flowery writing style, with some deep underlying meaning, and I'm not really sure if I have that.)</p>

<p>Question: Write an essay which conveys to the reader a sense of who you are. Possible topics may include, but are not limited to, experiences which have shaped your life, the circumstances of your upbringing, your most meaningful intellectual achievement, the way you see the world - the people in it, events great and small, everyday life - or any personal theme which appeals to your imagination. Please remember that we are concerned not only with the substance of your prose but with your writing style as well.</p>

<p>Thanks!</p>

<p>pm me the essay</p>

<p>i can help</p>

<p>(raises hand) pick me...pick me...
I also applied to Columbia.</p>

<p>pm me if you'd like</p>

<p>pm me ill look</p>