counselor discouraging me from applying to dream school

Parent Cafe
1

i told my counselor i wanted to apply to dartmouth ed next year but she told me i shouldn’t bother bc 1. i have no chance and 2. it will make the school look bad for future applicants when a weak applicant like me applies

so i have 2 questions in response to that: 1. do i actually have no chance? (i know this is more of a chance me question but i feel like the parents forum would be more mature and understanding about the context surrounding my situation) and 2. is it possible for someone to get in without the support of their school counselor? thanks so much everyone really appreciate it

SAT:
first attempt: 1420 (690 math, 730 ebrw, 19 essay was taken middle of soph year)
second attempt: 1530 (750 ebrw, 780 math, 23 essay was taken middle of this year)

GPA: i moved from virginia to wisconsin between sophmore and junior year so the gpa calculating system is different. i either have a 3.67 or a 3.71 or a 3.88 or a 4.2 or a 4.6 depending on which system i use. sorry i know that’s not helpful. if it helps i have 1 b, 2 b pluses, five a minuses, 16 As, 2 a pluses

Rank: ok so this is the reason why i think my counselor is discouraging me. my rank is 60 something out of like 660 in my grade bc my honors and ap classes from my old school aren’t weighted at my new school bc of some weird policy my school district has. my counselor told me if they did weight my classes my rank would be 7… she said she would explain this on college apps which is so nice of her! wow i was surprised at that

APs:
5s: Human Geo, Enviro, Euro
4s: Bio (self studied freshman year i mean not to brag but i feel like i deserve some acknowledgement for this)
Currently enrolled in: AP Micro, AP Lit, AP Calc BC, APUSH, Honors Physics, Honors Philosophy, Honors Spanish
Senior Year Schedule: 5 APs plus an honors history seminar
my counselor said my schedule was most demanding tbh so idk why she’s so adamant about discouraging me

ECs:
–national award in fbla from fbla club at old school (fun fact: when i tried to start an fbla at my new school my counselor and a couple other staff members actively tried to stop me… and succeeded…)
–chosen for study abroad summer program fully funded by state dept
–nationally ranked debater, vp of team
–founder of school literary magazine at new school after participating at the one at my old school
–started a public speaking program to teach communication skills for refugees in my new city after volunteering at a similar program in virginia for undocumented hispanic migrants

-key club 9-12, regional officer soph year
–mock trial 10-11, regional award only
–accepted to humanities seminar for this upcoming summer (not tasp level but still selective and free)

Possible Major: maybe english maybe international relations. oh yea my counselor told me it was pointless to pursue a humanities major… i’m not completely sure what to say to her??

I’d really appreciate the wisdom of some parents on here about what to do. not only has it been really difficult for me to adjust moving from a wealthy nova suburb to a not-as-great-area of wisconsin, but my counselor has only been making things way harder for me. she said my best bet is uw madison and there’s nothing wrong w that it’s just that dartmouth is my dream school and i don’t think i’d enjoy uw madison. it’s been super difficult and draining to pursue activities in my area of interest and bc of the isolation i feel as a racial minority (im taiwanese), i’ve started to become depressed and my first sem junior grades weren’t too great (one b plus, a few a minuses). i just feel so trapped and stifled and desperate

2

If what you have shared is accurate, then your counselor is an obstacle that you need to overcome.

Your numbers are fine for Dartmouth College.

What is “fbla” ?

3

wow ok looking back at this it’s way too long but god it was so cathartic to type this out

4

Since when does a HS counselor have any say-so as to where you apply? I’ve never heard of such a thing.

5

Trust your instincts. I disagree with this GC 100%.

6

@sschickens so what happens at my school is that every junior has a meeting with their counselor on college apps early march. i had mine last week and she told me that she would be “extremely hesitant” to send my transcript over to dartmouth if i ed there. how bad of a problem is this?

7

^can anyone else look at my past comment and recommend some ways i can convince her to send my transcript?

8

I have read of many similar conversations between a student & a high school counselor.

Do not let a high school counselor define you or tell you where not to apply. The counselor should be encouraging you to find a mix of safety, match & reach schools. The reach schools are up to you.

9

@Publisher ahh thanks so much! but as much as i wish i could ignore her i still don’t know how i’m supposed to let her send in my transcript if she refuses… ???

10

Contact the school principal if she refuses to send your transcript, or if you think that she will not do it in a timely manner (i.e. before the deadline).

11

@Publisher I’ll definitely try that next year! If the issue of my transcript is resolved, how do I deal with a mediocre at best and insulting at worst rec letter ?

12

^can anyone else answer my question above? thanks so much

13

Hi there,

I’m so sorry you are having a hard time. My first response to you as a parent is not “can you get into your dream school”, but to ask you to investigate what could you do to feel less depressed, trapped, stifled and desperate. If you shift your focus onto that question, and to the answers to that question, I think you might begin to find that is the much more important question to be asking at this point in your life.

As to your question about Dartmouth (or any Ivy league school for that matter), you honestly have an extremely small chance, as do most well qualified applicants. Dartmouth had a 10% overall acceptance rate last year. 90% of the total applicants did not get in, and I promise you, thousands of them were quite spectacular. This fact in no way diminishes your own unique talents, hard work and dreams, it just is a fact of admission to highly selective schools. If it really is your dream school and it is affordable, by all means apply, but also have other matches and safeties that you would be happy to attend.

Again, I would gently ask you to focus on a different question - why is this your dream school? Does it have particular programs that are specific to your interests? Is the student body one that seems to align with what you think of as “your people”? Is it in a geographic area you particularly love? If the answer is yes to these questions, then it is time to start researching what other schools have the same qualities that you find to be desirable there. There are many, many less selective schools that share the same characteristics, and if you need help finding those schools, I know there are many posters here who can help you find them.

If it is your dream school because it will make you feel worthy in the eyes of others, then again, I would urge you to shift your focus and begin to find ways to feel good about yourself right now. Lots of people get what they thought they wanted and find it doesn’t fill the space they had hoped it would. Good luck - there are a lot of great schools and paths out there!

14

Dartmouth would be a reach for you but certainly worth the try.

15

If she refuses, your parents need to chat with her, the school principal, and/or the school board in that order. Her job is to send your transcript. If she wants to act as a gatekeeper for Dartmouth, she should apply for a job there.

16

Are finances an issue? If so…think carefully before you apply ED.

Why is this school counselor discouraging your application? The only concern might be that the school counselor has to complete the counselor recommendation.

Any chance you could make an appointment with the head of guidance at your school, or the principal…to discuss your desire to apply?

Just remember…Dartmouth does not exactly have high acceptance rates. Make sure you submit regular decision applications to schools also, especially ones where early applications are needed for merit aid consideration.

Apply to Dartmouth…if you get accepted, you will need to withdraw all the other applications.

As an aside…if BOTH of my kids had listened to their school counselors, neither would have graduated from their undergrad schools.

My son graduated from Boston University. His school counselor told him not to waste his time. We ignored her…kid was a music major and the GC didn’t know what she was talking about. When the kid got accepted with a sizable performance award, I copied it and told him to hand it to her. But he applied RD.

DD’s school counselor told her she would not get accepted at her school. We aren’t sure what the basis of that was…since she was a top 5% student in her class…and he had no real knowledge of the college. But whatever…she applied anyway…got accepted, and even got a tiny merit award.

The only time ED applications are an issue for future students is when ED applicants are cceoted, and then decide not to attend. Did you give your GC any indication that you wouldn’t attend if you got an ED acceptance??

17

I agree with @Publisher (post #7). Dartmouth is not a safety for you, and is probably not a match either. However, it looks to me like it is probably a very reasonable reach. I would suggest that you run the NPC on Dartmouth. If you and your parents are okay with the result, then go ahead and apply. Definitely come up with reasonable matches and safeties as well.

18

What do your parents say? They should talk to the counselor.

19

@thumper1 i didn’t give my gc hints i wouldn’t attend even if i got in ed. i emailed my assistant principal about this and he replied saying that while he disagrees with my gc he can’t force her to do anything so i have to resolve this situation by myself

20

Can you change Guidance Counselors ?