<p>I love my son. He is sweet, very sweet. He still gives me hug nearly every day. He does things without being asked to do them. He works hard at his schoolwork. He hates being in the limelight and works happily and quietly behind the scenes. He has no hooks. He has had no adversity, really. He is just a good kid..... He is not a fabulous leader that everyone will want to follow. He hasn't invented anything and has no interest in setting himself above the crowd. He could care less what others think about him. That said, he quietly does things for others withoug fanfare. If he sees a mom struggling, he will open the door and take packages. He will jump in and take care of the little things that no one ever notices.... His Sunday School teachers, ps teachers in elementary school, and homeschool co-op teachers all adore him... But he bonds with them not the other students...</p>
<p>I'm supposed to take this information and write a counselor letter.... I don't know how. He is just ordinary. I love him, but he is not outstanding... Well, maybe his 34 on the ACT is. But he would rather die than join a group or speak in front of people.. I can't put that in the letter. He likes working on his own. He will do well in college. He will be a good student. Sigh.. Just had to vent. I've got to start writing to get ready for the applications this summer... How do you write a letter about an ordinary child????</p>
<p>Write all that you did in the first part of your post. Give them a few good examples of his kindness, especially in a school setting. Talk about his independence and ability to work alone and hadle his own deadlines. It is okay to use the word humble, and possibly add driven, introspective and caring.
Describe him as an old soul, respectful of his elders and highlight his good relationships with the authority figures in his life.</p>
<p>It is for TCU… I have to check these boxes that absolutely do not apply to me as a homeschooling mom. Then I have to write a letter. I asked. They want me to do it, not someone else. I ust don’t know how to be objective. I looked on the internet at sample counselor letters, and they just depressed me. I just have a good boy that I love very much. ( But couldn’t every mom say that!!!)</p>
<p>Looks like you have a wonderful son and you are an honest person to say that your son is ordinary. That takes a lot of honesty and self examination. I think the son takes after the mother, congradulations to both of you.</p>
<p>I have a question, why do a parent have to write a counsellor letter? Is this required of all parents for their children? I am new to all this, please advice.</p>
<p>My mom went to TCU and she said what other people said – that the first part was a good first draft, but she also said that TCU wasn’t necessarily about standing in front of people and talking, but rather finding a place where you could make your own difference, whether quietly or noisily. Emphasize that he is a “doer” not a “proclaimer”. Most of her friends, who I’ve known since I was a baby, are the same way – all are successful but none of them felt the need to push themselves to the front, and many took roundabout paths to that success based on what they learned at TCU. Hope that helps a little bit!!</p>
<p>"I have a question, why do a parent have to write a counsellor letter? Is this required of all parents for their children? I am new to all this, please advice. "</p>
<p>NO, most parents don’t have to write a counselor letter. However, we homeschool. So therefore I am the teacher, counselor AND mom. TCU and also the common app wants moms to write the counselor letter if they homeschool.</p>
<p>Just write about his honesty, his stability, his sweetness, and his ability to do what’s asked of him.</p>
<p>Many schools don’t even require a letter from a counselor. Some schools require NOTHING and some just have a “check list” sort of thing. </p>
<p>What kind of schools is he applying to?</p>
<p>If he’s applying to reachy/ivies/elites then there may be an issue. If he’s applying to mid-tiers and flagships, many won’t even ask/care much about a “counselor letter” unless it involves being a discipline problem. </p>
<p>When my DD applied for a leadership scholarship, she did not see herself as a leader, she did not count sports captaincy. Her GC told her, “SomeDD, you are a leaders in the little things you do everyday, you would be mistaken to people don’t see the way you act and take note. You may be the best kind of leader.”</p>
<p>Sounds a lot like the way you described your son, a quiet leader.</p>
<p>Maybe you could give more specific examples of servant-leadership or his quiet leadership? Seeing another person step up to help others often encourages the witnesses to do the same but they might not always realize themselves that someone would appreciate their help. </p>
<p>I had to write a big letter about my kid last summer. Her public school has a form for parents to use for that. I had to write things her teachers and GC writing her college LORs wouldn’t really know about her such as any challenges she’s overcome, her activities outside of school, etc. She had to write something similar for them too. This gave her teachers and GC more info about her to include in their own LORs and make them more personal and customized to her. </p>
<p>I can’t access it right now but if you’re interested and you PM me a reminder, I can go track down a copy of it again and see what the questions on it were.</p>
<p>Don’t say what he isn’t, or what he hasn’t done. Talk about who he is and the wonderful qualities listed in your OP. Just add a couple of specific examples.</p>
<p>I am afraid to have to offer a different opinion. The words used by the OP in the first paragraph will not get her son much help. While she recognized this, the advice that she had a her draft is, alas, off the mark in the context of … Admissions.</p>
<p>It is crucial to find examples of being special in his own ways. Unfortunately, being nice, industrious, polite, responsible are simply expected. The era of the nice and bright kids ended a long time ago in the context of this forum.</p>
<p>This does NOT mean there ought to be amazing accomplishments; but there ought to be something that only you could tell about your son. Again in the context of admissions.</p>
<p>Although xiggi almost always knows what he is talking about, in this case, I think the things that momknowsbest3 has written would work pretty well. I’d start at the “He does things without being asked . . . ,” since the very first part seems a bit too personal. I would agree with xiggi if your son were targeting the Ivies, the Claremont Colleges, or the Williams/Bowdoin/Swarthmore/Carleton-type schools. On the other hand, I would guess that TCU will find a letter of that type refreshing.</p>
<p>I took a look at the counselor evaluation. Leadership potential is only one item out of 10 in the set of check-boxes. The only one that wasn’t addressed explicitly or implicitly in the original post is “creative, original thought”–but you can probably come up with examples of that. In terms of extracurriculars, you mentioned that he works behind the scenes–if that’s on extracurriculars, you’re set. There is a short box for written comments, where you are asked about “academic performance, consistency, and potential.” You can probably handle that without too much trouble. When it comes to “special talents, leadership potential, and personal determination,” you can certainly handle the last of the three.</p>
<p>In contrast with xiggi’s statement, I find that being nice, industrious, polite, and responsible–and especially noticing when someone needs help, and providing it–are not actually such common characteristics among the university students I teach. When I write a letter of recommendation for a student who shows them, I mention it in some way.</p>
<p>The other important thing that you have going, in terms of the letter, is that your son is part of a homeschool co-op. This means that you can compare him with others in the group, and there are probably some objective measures of academic performance, motivation, independence, etc. You might not even need to rank him 1 in a class of 1.</p>
<p>Be careful saying your child is not a leader. Remember there different ways to be a leader. You can lead by example, you can be supportive of other people’s efforts, you can be an idea person, and a number of other things. Having a title does not make you a leader. </p>
<p>For TCU, it won’t be a problem for her to use her post as a draft and build on it. However, Xiggi is absolutely correct when it comes to the highly selective schools. Those are a whole other story in terms of what should be in a counselor’s letter.</p>
<p>I just got an e-mail with this quote at the bottom:</p>
<p>“A leader is best when people barely know he exists, when his work is done, his aim fulfilled, they will say: we did it ourselves.” — Lao Tzu —</p>
<p>I thought it was appropriate. Something I think is important to most schools is their desire to accept students that will become involved in their school community. It doesn’t matter what they are involved with; just that they are.</p>
<p>I agree that the OP’s original post did a great job of showing how special her son was in everyday ways, and also dealt attractively and forthrightly with the special challenges of writing a homeschool counselor letter. No, it might not work for Stanford, but I will be really surprised if it doesn’t work for TCU. It’s certainly not going to keep him out.</p>
<p>I, on the other hand, might be tempted to take the assignment less seriously: Top student in his class! Best student I have seen in my career! Most challenging curriculum of anyone at his level at our school! When he goes to college, a big piece of our school’s heart will go with him, and will never be replaced!</p>