<p>My favorite recent crime blotter entry. Forgive me, couldn't resist.</p>
<p>"At 11:55 p.m., a female student came to the Security office to complain that her boyfriend was a lousy dancer. Security gave the young lady a band aid for her bloody toe, plus two extra band aids, in case she kept dancing with him."</p>
<p>Know the perpetrator?</p>
<p>1190, I only started getting the Carletonian this year, but the crime blotter is definitely my favorite part of it. A couple of weeks ago, there was a rash of burned food on campus. Horrors.</p>
<p>I think it's a very good thing the Carleton security staff has a sense of humor.</p>
<p>I think this is probably my favorite: </p>
<p>"-At 8:00 a.m., a six foot tall chicken was reported to be causing a disturbance in the Burton Dining Hall. He was apparently holding a sign and clucking at patrons attempting to serve themselves eggs. Security responded, identified the chicken, and escorted him back to his roost in Burton Hall."</p>
<p>I just checked it. So last Sunday night, three different people pulled the fire alarms? Twice in Watson? Must've been an interesting evening for students in those halls...</p>
<p>Hollylove:</p>
<p>Yeah. I yield. You've clearly found the winning entry in the "campus police off-beat humor delivered with a straight face" category.</p>
<p>I'll still stick with mine in the "adorably sweet I can't believe a security officer could write this" category. </p>
<p>One more from this past week - maybe a winner in the "busted by the coolest campus patrol team EVER" category:</p>
<p>"-At 12:30 a.m., Security responded to one of the townhomes that had a live band that totally Rocked ..which is kind of why we responded .the band also rocked the townhouses."</p>
<p>It does make one wonder if Carleton's admissions committee also moonlights screening new campus security hires.</p>