<p>Hi guys, </p>
<p>I've been reading CC for a long time but this is my first time posting on an account. I am self-studying AP Lang and hoping for a 5 (MC is fine - 90% accuracy or so, so I need 7s on my essays to guarantee a 5?) I would really appreciate it if you could just read over either (or both!) of these essays and gave them a rough score and offer any criticisms! I know these aren't even close to being polished essays but I wrote them on paper according to the 120min/15min actual exam benchmark. Thanks so much for your help!!</p>
<p><strong><em>2008 Question 1 (penny)</em></strong>************
As the fundamental unit of our currency system, the penny has endured hundreds of years through our history. Thus, understandably, when suggestions of abolishing the penny made wave in economic and political spheres, public sentiments are prone to oppose changes to this status quo. Taking logical and economical analysis of the penny issue, however, shows that the case for the abolition may in fact make more sense than retaining the penny. Indeed, in spite of the inherent traditional and sentimental values associated with the penny, with respect to economic and efficiency purposes the penny has lost its currency.</p>
<p>From an economic standpoint, the monetary value of retaining pennies is far outweighed by the costs and strains they place on our economy. This point may be seemingly disputed by the likes of Edmund Knowles (Source B), who has collected over $10 000 in pennies over the years. Does Edmunds success with amassing a small fortune in pennies be indication that the penny is still current in our economy? No. In fact, the discardment of these virtually worthless pieces of metal is proof positive of their lack of utility in our economy. Money is designed as a financial medium, a representation of labor output, but the present day inherent value of owning physical pennies themselves is, as the actions of popular masses suggests, less economically sustainable than the troubles of storing these tokens of labor output. Does that not represent, then, a very intrinsic economic fallacy, when the very media of transaction are discarded by the beholder? Indeed, the fact that 27% of Americans dont even bother to track their change, pennies included (Source B) indicates that the penny has outstayed its economic welcome. Of course the statistic can be taken to suggest the lazy nature of people, but the central economic tenement behind penny abolition is largely consistent with statistics such as this, that the intrinsic economic value of the penny has decreased, and the costs of retaining it increased, to the point where further sustaining its circulation makes little economic sense. It is time to let go.</p>
<p>Related to the concept of economic value, but even more directly impacting our lives are the intangible inefficiencies and nuisances associated with the penny. True, the penny may still possess sentimental value, yet like a family keepsake grandpa car from the 60s, maintaining its use causes simply too much hassle in our lives. True, the penny does hold historical significance, as Michael Bishiop notes (Source F), in that the penny is the most visible and tangible reminder of Lincolns significance in American history. Yet the question remains: is producing millions of copper/zinc coins, which are indiscriminately discarded by society the most efficient way of celebrating Lincolns legacy? For instance, nowadays, when old broken toys get lost behind the couch just to be rediscovered years later, covered in dust, they are called garbage. And when that same discovery turns out to be a penny, it is surprise still treated as garbage. On a more macroscopic scale, the penny cup phenomenon, as noted by Safire (Source C), is an even more prevalent social trend conceived from the inefficiencies of the penny: rather than fishing them out of pockets, people simply discard them as waste. All cases considered, the presence of millions of these copper nuisances hinders our daily lives and reduces our efficiencies. When in a rush to buy an emergency product at the store, for instance, can there be anything more frustrating than having to stand there and count the pennies?</p>
<p>For over 200 years, the penny has served as the stalwart of our economic system. Not only that, its sentimental and historical values place added weight on its importance in society. Yet in spite of these values, it is important to keep in mind the ultimate purpose of the penny and by extension, money in general: it is a medium designed to facilitate our daily lives and our economy. So when an instrument fails to deliver both the economic and efficiency values to our society, it then becomes time to find alternatives to serve these purposes. After all, Abraham Lincoln surely did not want the millions of copies of his likeness to become hindrances to the society which he so loved.</p>
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<p>and another one I wrote:</p>
<p><strong><em>2007 Form B Question 3 (Wendell Phillip)</em></strong></p>
<p>Wendell Phillips speech of 1861 epitomizes the sentiments of the abolitionists of the North in the civil war. In spite of any apparent Northern support for abolition, however, white Northerners at the time were still hesitant to confer upon the African American man equal status in society. This notion of superiority prevalent in Northern society makes Phillips task of not only elevating Toussaint-Louverture as an equal, but a superior to the greatest white political figures ever the more difficult. In the face of this challenge, however, Phillip is still able praise his subject and move his audience by employing numerous parallel allusions to historical and contemporary figures and a strong emotional appeal that resonates with the independent American spirit.</p>
<p>Phillip, in numerous parts of his speech, repeatedly alludes to a series of similar historical and contemporary figures, and either compares or contrasts them with Touissant-Louverture. Firstly, in times when Toussaint-Louverture conforms to the standard of comparison upheld by these other important figures, the allusions lend credibility and legitimacy to the achievements of the Haitian revolutionary. In the opening paragraph of this excerpt of his speech, for instance, Phillip evokes the two greatest leaders of his time Napoleon and George Washington. The subject of his comparison to these men, however, is not another white man, but rather a former Haitian slave. By first invoking the two historical heavyweights as a prelude to his introduction of Toussaint-Louverture, Phillip is making the implicit suggestion that the Haitian slave is a worthy equal to the former duo, thus raising Toussaint-Louverture on a pedestal in the eyes of his audience, who likely did not expect this comparison. In this way, by establishing the preeminence of Toussaint-Louverture early in the speech, Phillip is able to employ these historical allusions as almost a name-dropping strategies, as if, whether rightfully or not, the mere association of Toussaint-Louverture to these two worthy men confers praise upon he himself as well. The comparison between the former Haitian slave and other historical greats did not end at merely association, however. In fact, in times when the former slave differed from the duo, Phillip is also quick to point out that perceived differences in fact are evidence of Toussaint-Louvertures superiority, of morals or of character, to the historical greats to whom he is compared to. This strategy is most evident in Phillips claim that distinguishes between Toussaint-Louverture and Cromwell and Washington: Cromwell, for all his military might, saw his state down with him into his grave. Toussaint-Louverture, on the other hand, is superior in the sense that he sustained the liberation of his people from French, Spanish, and British influence for an extended amount of time. In comparing him to Washington, Phillip points out that the great Virginian was a slaveholder himself an apparent flaw, and a flaw which Toussaint-Louverture so gloriously is devoid of. Once again, the holistic effect of alluding to and pointing out the apparent shortcomings of two historical greats, and showing how Toussaint-Louverture rises above those shortcomings, provides ample support for Phillips praise of his subject.</p>
<p>The use of a powerful pathos appeal is likewise evident in the speech. The employment of this rhetorical strategy is most evident in the second paragraph. In this paragraph, Phillip establishes a personal, emotional connection with his audience American citizens who have survived centuries of toleration and subjugation under various European powers and a Revolutionary War, by pointing out that Toussaint-Louverture joined with them in the common goal of overthrowing European oppression, that he too, shared the independent American spirit at heart. Indeed, the use of metaphorical language best demonstrates the emotional appeal conveyed by Phillip: thanks to Toussaint, the Spanish is no longer the conquisidatores, but was sent home conquered; the French are placed under Toussaints feet; the British, perhaps the most hated of all by the Americans, skulking back to Jamaica. Of course the audience would not take the meanings to be literal, in that Toussaint literally stood on top of Frenchmen, but rather the paragraph evokes a sense of triumph and empowerment over the European powers by the suppressed. In the given historical context of the speech, this sense of triumph doubtlessly resonated with the independent American spirit. Indeed, this powerful emotional appeal was well-received by the audience, as evidenced in the applauses given in this paragraph. One does not need much imagination to conjure up a scene, where eager listeners, at the mention of the conquer of European colonial power, are awashed by a sense of pride and triumph, and become even more receptive to the subject of the praise in this case Toussaint. In this way, Phillip uses a strong emotional appeal to the audience to elicit support for Toussaint, whom he suggests is not only worthy of praise as a fellow former colonist, but one who shares in the spirit of freedom and independence as well.</p>
<p>In the excerpt of the speech by Phillip the two primary strategies of alluding, and comparing, to historical figures and a strong emotional appeal are evidently employed in praising Toussaint-Louverture and in moving the audience. As Phillip suggests, the historical figures alluded to are not only equals but in some ways embody imperfections that Toussaint, his subject, has transcended. Phillips emotional appeal, likewise, plucks at the audiences heartstrings by directly calling upon their independent spirit and common hatred against the European powers. Indeed, in the context of American history, this speech is just one of the many important landmarks that have contributed to radical changes in politics and society.</p>
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