Please Grade these SAT II Essays!!~

Test Preparation
1

<p>Can anyone please grade these two SAT II Writing Essays? They are typed exactly as I wrote them-meaning all typos (or write-o's) and spelling errors should be taken into account. Can anyone tell me what grade I would get from 2-12 on each of these? For some reason, when I read these, I almost vomit in disgust of my own writing. I hope reading these won't burn your eyes. Thanks in advance everyone!</p>

<p>"Money cannot buy happiness." "Money can buy happiness."</p>

<p>Agree or disagree with one of these statements and support it with examples from your yada yada yada....</p>

<p>Many citizens of the United States aspire to achieve the “American Dream,” which all to often entails the gathering of wealth and financial prosperity. However, the notion behind this dream that money can buy happiness is incorrect, and the falseness of such a claim is seen through a study of Charles Dickens’ novel Great Expectations, and a study of the works of philosophical thinkers of the Transcendentalist period.</p>

<p>In Charles Dickens’ famous novel, Great Expectations, the main character, Pip, starts with humble beginnings in a small town, but eventually comes to possess great wealth, courtesy of an anonymous benefactor. Although poverty shrouded Pip’s young life as an orphan, once he attains wealth and moves the city, things stay bad. Pip finds that the distance he is from his old village, coupled with the conceit and arrogance of richdom, causes him to have few close friends, and consequentially he is very unhappy. Despite his lavish lifestyle, Pip is unable to be happy and, reminiscing about the joy he shared when living in poverty in the village, realizes that money cannot buy happiness and that the contrary might even be true: money destroys happiness. Eventually, Pip returns to the village, after forsaking his wealth, and confirms his notions that money cannot buy happiness when he, as a now poor man, does indeed attain happiness.</p>

<p>Not only does evidence that money cannot buy happiness come from an analysis of literature, but also a study of Transcendentalist philosophy. Transcendentalist, a philosophy originated in America during the 19th century, was spearheaded by thinkers such as Ralph Waldo Emerson and Henry David Thoreau. Transcendentalism emphasized concentration on natural beauty and introspection. For example, Thoreau’s Walden recounts the author’s stay by a pond for two years during which the author feels totally at bliss. These thinkers claimed that only through living a simple life that allowed for concentration on such things as nature and the self could happiness by reached. Money, on the other hand, often brings with it lavish life styles, along with it a slew of other problems, and causes the rich to forgoe true happiness as it was described by the Transcendentalists, again reinforcing the idea that money can buy happiness.</p>

<p>All in all, we see that, through the examples of the adventures and misadventures of Dickens’ main character Pip and an analysis of Transcendentalist philosophy, that money cannot buy happiness.</p>

<p>“With age comes wisdom.”</p>

<p>Support or refute this using an example from yada yada yada....</p>

<p>A cliché commonly associated with maturing young adults and growing people in general is that “with age comes wisdom.” The veracity of this claim is supported by J.D. Salinger’s Catcher in the Rye, in which the main character, Holden Caulfield, spends a long weekend in New York City. Although the time period throughout which the novel takes place is short, Salinger’s message is clear: as one grows and develops, they gain wisdom and insight. This is evident through the change in Holden’s attitude toward life and what he feels his duty is.</p>

<p>When the novel first starts, Holden is an angry teenager bitter at the world. He is about to be expelled from yet another preparatory school and feels as if he is alone in the world. He runs away from his boarding school and spends three days in New York City, a time period during which he matures remarkably quickly and begins to see the world differently, a sign of wisdom.</p>

<p>For example, Holden at first considers the respect he holds for women to be a weakness of his and is ashamed of his tendency to be sensitive to women. This view clearly is naïve and lacks wisdom. However, by the end of the novel, there are signs that Holden decides he will treat women how is naturally inclined to, an indication of his gaining wisdom with age. Another example is found in his feelings toward youth. In the beginning of the novel, Holden only has a muddled view of his future and is unsure about what he is meant to do. However, as the novel progresses, Holden begins to see more and more that his role is to protect the innocence of the youth, with the novel ending with an epiphany our main character has regarding this very topic. The clearness that Holden eventually achieves is obviously a result of Holden’s increasing wisdom.</p>

<p>Thus the truth behind the maxim “with age comes wisdom” is evident through an observation of the novel Catcher in the Rye. The main character Holden Caulfield matures, although at a very accelerated rate, though the course of three days, and the wisdom he gains with increasing age is shown through the examples of the loss of his naiveness in his attitude toward women, and the clarifying of what he sees his role in life to be.</p>

2

<p>theyre both awesome essays but are you supposed to have 2 examples for each?</p>

3

<p>I tried for 3, but I spent too long thinking and had to sacrifice one. On the one about Catcher in the Rye, it just asks for one example, but I used two sub-examples, if you will, to illustrate my point.</p>

4

<p>i have no experience in grading essays so I didnt give you a score. But I do think your essays are great especially compared to another one i saw which i criticized. The minor things i could critique you on would only be marked off for if it was like an essay typed for class.</p>

5

<p>I love the Catcher in the Rye, and i think your essays are very well-written. however i dont know whether Holden example is really answering the quesetion. It's only three days and even thought he aged during that time period, i am not sure whether that's enough to answer “With age comes wisdom.”</p>

6

<p>Well even though it is only three days, Salinger means it to serve as a long period of tiem in "maturing days" considering that Holden does more exciting stuff in those 3 days than I do in 1 year. It would be impractical for Salinger to have made it a longer time, considering Holden was only a kid, and unless he wants to make it something like Paulsen's Hatchet, there was no other way. </p>

<p>What score would I have gotten though?</p>

7

<p>You're really only graded on your ability to write well and put together a logical, well-organized essay. You won't be marked off if the graders don't agree with what you have to say. That's not part of the rubric. All of these essays are based on opinion. You could spout nothing but bull ****, and as long as you write it well, you can receive a perfect score. Besides, Catcher in the Rye is often labeled as a "coming of age" novel anyway. That all being said, don't listen to Dreaming.</p>

8

<p>It was my understanding of Catcher in the Rye that throughout the whole book, Holden tried and tried to protect the innocence of youth (catcher in the rye symbol, "f-you's" written on walls, etc), but at the end realized that he couldn't protect everyone. He said something along the lines of, "No matter how many f-you's you rubbed away, there would still be more." Also, letting Phoebe grab the golden ring and saying "Sometimes you just have to let kids grab for the golden ring and not say anything." Anyway, it's just my two cents. Good essay, though.</p>

9

<p>There are no absolute truths in literature, sicne there are different types of literary criticism, all getting different ideas from the same books. You are not the author and therefore "what the author means" is a relative notion.</p>

<p>both essasy look good, though i wouldn't know what the are looking for, since I'm from abroad and have never taken an SAT. I am an English major in University though, hence my thoughts on literary criticism...</p>

<p>I was wondering how you link a British victorian novel to the notion of the american dream not being true. Or was the use of Great Expectations suggested in the topic perhaps? I would have expected a more socio-political analyses of the notion ft he American dream, but then again, i don't know the assignment.</p>

10

<p>you absolutely do not need to listen to me. in fact, i am not good at english or literature. that was my thoughtless penny.</p>

11

<p>The stages of life are naive childhood, rebellious adolescence, responsible adulthood and wise elderness (what’s the correct word?). We go from asking, “Are we there yet?” to wondering whether or not there is an afterlife after we pass away. Clearly, there is advancement in knowledge as we grow older. In Tuesdays With Morrie by Mitch Albom, an alumni of Brandeis University, Mitch Albom, is reunited with his old teacher and mentor, Morrie. Morrie, who has been struck by Lou Gehrig’s disease, gained important insight into life as he approached death. Morrie and Mitch show us that wisdom comes with age.</p>

<pre><code>Morrie was hit hard by Lou Gehrig’s disease. This disease would slowly paralyze his body, starting with the feet and moving up. He was depressed at first, and would sometimes cry in the morning. But soon he realized that this disease could bring him closer to his family and friends. He received more support, hugs and kisses from those close to him than ever before. He realized that accepting death would allow him to live during the last parts of his life. He was able to talk to his old friend Mitch every Tuesday and teach him about life, death and love. As he got older and closer to death, his sense of life and the importance of love became much more acute. 

    Morrie was embarrassed of not being able to take care of himself, especially when it came to using the bathroom.  As time passed, he got wiser and realized that it was nothing to be ashamed of.  He proudly announced on national TV that someday, someone was going to have to “wipe my ass”.  When that day came, he did not sadden or feel embarrassed.  Instead he was the one who asked his hired assistant if she would feel embarrassed wiping his “ass.”  He learned as he grew older that being handicapped was not an embarrassment.  He simply felt grateful and lucky that his family and friends were there to take care of him.  

    Mitch Albom had sworn not to give into the normal routine of the rest of America in college.  He wanted to travel abroad and help people by joining organizations such as Greenpeace.  Money would be of no concern to him when he was looking for a job.  However, he ended up as an award-winning sports reporter chained at his desk and computer for 8 hours a day.  The job did not satisfy him, and one day his union went on strike.  He was out of a job.  As he flipped on the TV, he saw his old teacher Morrie with Ted Koppel and decided to pay him a visit.  Morrie taught him that accepting death would allow him to live.  He taught him that love is the only thing in the world that matters, not money.  He reconciled with his distant brother who had moved to Europe to get away from the family.  He dropped his sports career and started writing Tuesdays With Morrie to spread Morrie’s knowledge to the world.  His book became a New York Times Bestseller.  Not only was he successful, but he was helping the world realize the true meaning of happiness.

    The true, inspiring story of Morrie and Mitch has touched millions of readers, including myself.  As they grew older, they realized how frivolous certain things in society were, including money and dependency on others.  They both realized that in the end, love was what really mattered.  With age came wisdom.

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<p>I didn't time myself, it seems a bit long.
Could someone critique this?</p>

12

<p>Ummm....can you post this on a separate thread??</p>

<p>No one has told me yet what score I would get....lol</p>

13

<p>I have a few questions, do they take points off for misspellings and grammar errors? Also, do they take points off if the references you used are somewhat stretched? This is not in reference to the above essays in any way, just a basic question.</p>

14

<p>They aren't going to know if you stretch a story for purposes of writing a good essay - how could they? Now it's quite another thing if you try to bend something like a book, on account of the fact that one of the two people grading the essay have probably read the book you are referencing. As for grammar and spelling, of course they take off, but it isn't -1 point for every word misspelled - if there are only one or two errors it likely won't have any affect on your overall score, but if they are recurring constantly it will have a huge impact.</p>

15

<p>What grade would I get on these essays?!</p>

16

<p>6 for both of them, if your hand writting is legible.</p>

17

<p>6 out of 6? And my handwriting is extremely horrible.</p>

18

<p>If your hand writing is horrible, I might said 4 out of 6, your horrible hand writting will hurts alot.</p>