Critique my college essay please

<p>As I made my first step in this country at the age of six, I could see the world revolve around me in different directions as I observed the scenery and listened to the loud footsteps of strangers around me. That second I knew that my old life was just another thing in the past. I was originally born in Odessa, Ukraine. Due to my parents’ sudden luck in winning us green cards to the United States, we were officially on our way to begin a new life.
At first I had a hard time adjusting to the environment around me, I had no previous knowledge of where I was going or the language I was required to learn. One of the subjects my parents did endure in grade school was English, but that didn’t do much for them considering how many years went by. I had asked my parents why they chose to move to a new country at such a late age, they answered with one word, “ Education ”. I knew that it was all intended for me and I had to strive for the best to not only make my parents proud, but also myself. They had no promise of whether they would succeed or fail, but yet they still took a chance of a lifetime.<br>
After eleven years of creating a home for us in this foreign country, my parents finally made it. My mother has successfully finished NYU to become a dentist and my father works at a stone carving company as a sculptor. If it were not for my parent’s decision to move here, I would never be here today. I would never be able to speak English fluently as well as have the ability to read and write. Moving to a foreign country had a great impact on my life; it completely flipped and turned it right side up.<br>
It’s not a simple task to grow up moving around from one place to another and especially having to learn a new language and adjusting to the different culture. I trust in myself that if I watched and went through my parents go from having nothing to having everything they desire, I will be prepared for anything that comes my way. I am grateful for my parent’s decision to start a new life, I am grateful for the choices they made and I am grateful that I have the parents that I do, because if it weren’t for them I would not be sitting here writing this essay and I certainly would not be prepared for the outside world. I learned that although some tasks are hard to achieve, if you really have a passion for something and you try hard enough, you will obtain it. I know I am ready for whatever is out there for me, and I am ready for the challenges storming my way.</p>

<p>I’m not the best person to ask, but nothing really stuck out to me. It seemed pretty average. I threw it into Word and it says 485 words, so make sure you at least have enough words if it’s a 500 word essay (you didn’t say).</p>

<p>Good Luck</p>

<p>Probably shouldn’t post this on CC for all to see. Colleges do sometimes check.</p>