Critique my essay please

<p>Prompt: Is the way something seems to be not always the same as it actually is? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.</p>

<p>"Appearances are deceiving," warns the common adage. Recent history and my personal experience are examples of how appearance can be misleading. One example is the veritable deception engendered by President Bush in the lead-up to the Iraqi war. Another example from my real life is when I sought a friendship with someone I had later discovered was not who he seemed to be. </p>

<p>There is indisputable evidence that there were serious flaws in the Bush administration's case to invade Iraq. Some have attributed this grave mistake to a failure by the intelligence community or to deliberate "falsification" of facts by the administration and others cite both. Whatever the case the majority of the public was in support of a war that was billed as”liberation." Most people took the administrations word at face value, opting to forgo thorough vetting of the reasons for going to war. And it wasn't the public's fault: any viewer who turned on the nightly newscast as I did, was convinced that Saddam Hussein had nuclear weapons aimed directly at the Unite States. If the American people had done more to question the government rather than essentially taking its word, it would not be quagmire it is in now. </p>

<p>In my younger days, 13 to be exact, I was quite the ambitious student. Raised by Nigerian immigrants, a fundamental appreciation for education was instilled in me. They had always downplayed the importance of social interaction, instead encouraging me to forgo Saturday-night hangouts for study sessions. I did have a tight circle of friends and I was constantly looking to associate with others who seemed to be likeminded. To cut a long story short, at a teen web designer’s convention, I met a guy named Terry who was slightly older than me. He seemed to be a focused individual. He wore glasses, Dockers, and a button up dress shirt. By his appearance I judged him to be an intelligent student. However, after talking to him I found this to be an unfounded judgment: he couldn't go one moment with out making a crude comment about a passing female. Thus, I was mistaking in judging this book by its proverbial cover.</p>

<p>Thanks :-)</p>

<p>this one was from CB so just use the CB scaling... it should give you a decent read as it critiques in 30 sec and so do the real SAT people</p>

<p><a href="https://satonlinecourse.collegeboard.com/SR/examsaction.do%5B/url%5D"&gt;https://satonlinecourse.collegeboard.com/SR/examsaction.do&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p>

<p>I think it would get a 9 maybe. It's good, but I think you could add a little more detail and analysis to the body paragraphs and add a conclusion.</p>

<p>i also suggest you avoid using personal examples... very risky</p>

<p>8 or 7</p>

<p>Poor Intro; No Conclusion; Awkward wording; Topics could be better (stay away from politics b/c your reader might be pro-Bush and personal examples are usually weak examples)</p>