critiques on my idea for my essay...

Colleges and Universities A-Z Columbia University
1

<p>Just to show the idea... heres the intro... oh and I am in love with criticism.</p>

<pre><code> With dirt on my face, and unfamiliar stench in my nostrils, I view my environment, desolate, isolated, and hungry; hungry for love and acceptance. I learn from my friend, Mirna, that these people do not trust anyone; they have been hurt too much, too much pain has been already been allowed in. I observe with apprehension. My own reality sets in, this is now, lacking of the past or future. These people have nothing but hope. Either hope or bitterness for things they were not born into.
One month before this experience, I decided I was to go to Mexico. There were many reasons for my decision, both selfish, and selfless.
</code></pre>

2

<p>Some might say the topic is cliche, but I think if you write it well, your experience will show a lot about your character.</p>

<p>You also have a lot going on in that one paragraph, but if you complete the rest of the piece, it will be easier to rearrange. Intros are the hardest part. Finally, be careful with the semicolons. They can pack quite a punch if used sparingly!</p>