<p>For the past 4 years, I have done nothing but bust my butt. I kept hearing, work hard && you will get rewarded and into whatever college you want. I kept my rank at 1. I studied like heck for the SATs on my own and managed to get in the upper 600s and an 11 on my essay, because my school's average is literally less than 450 for each section for M + V. I devoted myself to many extracirricular activities and was EXTREMELY involved in high school, and I got many awards.</p>
<p>All the while, I dreamed of attending a school in the Patriot League(Bucknell, Lehigh, or Lafayette) or Villanova. Those schools are absolutely PERFECT fits for myself. I love so so so many things about them...and worked hard knowing that I would thrive in that environment... away from my town completely consumed by poverty, drugs, and alcoholism... away from my completely unmotivated classmates... into a whole new bright environment.</p>
<p>However, I got the FAid Packages back and I only got $40,000 a year pretty much for both schools -which my parents can't afford to pay. (Partly, because they decided to build an UNNECESSARY house two years ago that could have covered two kids to go to college at full price at any of those schools- which severely cut into our budget---when we already had a very nice house to begin with...) I'm just kind of frustrated how circumstances worked out.</p>
<p>Everybody is expecting me to go to a more prestigious school. Yet, my parent's want me to go to another school where it would only be about $20K a year, with an excellent pre-med reputation. However, it IS the more practical solution....but it just doesn't click with me much.... Yet, I would feel horrible making my parents pay the price just to have me go to a better college for almost double the price/ year. </p>
<p>I just feel like I kind of got shafted. Like all my hard work was really for nothing. And that my parents didn't really care if I got into a good college or not...I don't know. It just feels like my dreams are crushed, right now.</p>
<p>Anybody have any encouraging stories or insight? I need it.</p>
<p>i know how you feel, im going through the same thing. i just feel like all of high school was a big waste of time. im getting accepted to these great schools but they are way out of my league price wise. it makes me feel like my work was a waste</p>
<p>Going to a prestigious school means as much as you want it to mean. don’t make it an end goal. you worked hard not for the short term purpose of going to a good school but for success in the future. I wouldn’t be so glum if I were you. It’s only four years. You have the rest of your life to experience and do better things than what you missed out on in going to a prestigious university. and really, it doesn’t really matter where you go, but what you do. I’ve talked to many people who didn’t attend their top choice, but still fell in love with the school they attended and accomplished extraordinary things. and your work was not “for nothing.” didn’t you enjoy the extracurricular activities you were involved in? didn’t you enjoy pushing your self to become better leader, a better human being? you don’t lose what you accumulated by going to a less prestigious school. and you don’t need to work your parents to the bone to pay for an expensive school when you can easily thrive somewhere else. I think you’ll do wonderfully at the other school. it really just depends on your attitude.</p>
<p>did you say you were awarded $40K to go to a school and that isn’t enough. I must be reading that wrong.</p>
<p>I think your frustration should be directed to your parents. It’s not the college’s concern that they spent all their savings on a house they don’t need.</p>
<p>ALthough it’s little consolation, if you browse through the boards there are a great many students who are in your situation (not enough financing for their dream school) Yes it is very depressing, but read on and you will discover that many parents have written that their children ended up quite happy in their second choice school. </p>
<p>I’m a parent, and believe me it is not easy for a parent to tell their child that they’ve worked hard all through HS while others have taken easier classes and ended up in the same place. In our house it’s actually been harder for me to accept than it has for my son. We got a great package from his dream school but it still required us to pay 30K. Our income is in the 60’s, but we have home equity. My husband and I had to make the choice not to borrow against our home. With three other children to send to college we could not risk being burried in debt. </p>
<p>Feeling awful I talked to a friend of mine who questioned why I had appologized to my son. Instead she reflected on the 18K I was willing to pay for another school. She made it clear that I was not asking my son to pay his way through a CC or stay at home and go to a local 4 year state school. I was doing what I reasonably could and that should be appreciated. (which I’m certain my son does) </p>
<p>I read these boards every day, and every day I feel sorry for so many kids whether their parents make 20K or 150K, the dream schools are always a financial backbreaker. One very accomplished kid applied to many schools that where in lower tiers just to try to get lots of merit money. All of them offered him money and it still wasn’t enough. It will probably be a community colege for him. That was truly a heartbreaker. </p>
<p>Many very low income kids discover that a o EFC may still only get them enough to attend a “lesser” school. One girl told us that her parents make 150K and are not willing to pay anything because they want to retire in 10 years. There are kids frome divorced families who have applied to profile schools and are estranged from their fathers only to discover that the FA offices consider the father’s income as well. Everyone has a story and each one is sadder than the next. Again, it is no consolation, but for me it’s making my decision a little easier to accept. </p>
<p>From your post it seems as if your parents are willing to pay 20K for a lesser school. Based on what I’ve read on these boards, 40K per year is difficult even for families who are doing well. Look at it in perspective, and appreciate what your parents are willing to do. I’m not saying it’s easy. Don’t worry about where everyone “expected” you to go. You mentioned med school. It probably is best if you pay less now so there is money for later. And maybe that’s what your parents had in mind. Maybe your parents built a new house a few years ago to give you a better life in a better neighborhood. It’s a little disturbing that you lived in a poverty-stricken, drug filled area if your parents can afford so much. Maybe there has been a recent change in circumstances. I don’t know.</p>
<p>jjc: We learned the same tough lesson and by the time we got to younger kids we chose FAFSA only schools as it would not be smart financially to access our home equity- we did nothing to earn that home equity and could not afford on our income to buy a home at that price, we were just lucky enough to buy 20 years ago and stay in the market and not refi to higher and higher amounts.</p>
<p>So, we get much better offers from FAFSA schools, and if we want to go private we have to hit “lower” ranked schools like Baylor and Whitworth which give merit aid to help with the costs, avoiding loans!</p>
<p>well said JJCDDG - I feel for the stories I read here. There is so much emphasis on name schools and prestige. It creates alot of pressure on kids and their parents. I have been listening to alot of financial planning type programs on the radio lately - all planners are in agreement - do not sacrifice retirememt for kids educations. This can seem harsh but with college costs what they are - it seems that something has got to give.</p>
<p>Dont worry, your not alone, my dreams are crushed too. I would have to dish out 30k+ a year for the school i want to attend. And we dont have that type of money. So im going to end up in a city univ. which kids with 65 averages/100, and 1200/2400 SAT scores are granted admission to. makes me want to hang myself but what more can we possibly do?</p>
<p>Accept the situation you are in and purpose to be the best student at that school. Take advantage of the opportunities and excel. The funny thing is, there are sometimes more opportunities for top students at lower tier schools than there are a top tier schools. Your professor may not be a Nobel prize winner, but if he’s used to teaching average kids and you blow in there enthused, asking questions and going deeper, he’s going to help you out. He will be <em>thrilled</em> to have someone who really wants to learn. You’ll find yourself doing research, attending conferences with your professor, and co-authoring papers. It happens. </p>
<p>You may find yourself in a better position for med school being a stand out at an average university, then being middle of the pack at your dream school. The average university wants you to excel - it helps them - and they will do all they can to push you forward.</p>
<p>Here is a real story. My husband got accepted to MIT/Columbia. I got into Cornell but we could not go because of finances. Both went to State’s school and met there. My husband went on to get his PhD at Berkeley. It all ends very happy so don’t give up hope. It might be better to be a BIG fish in a small pond then a small fish in a big pond.</p>
<p>Are you willing to take a little of the debt on yourself? Split the difference? </p>
<p>I really related to jjcd’s post. I am a single mom, with an extremely affluent ex hubby who refuses to pay toward college. It isn’t legally mandated, so he isn’t going to do it. Period. With both my kids, it has been heartbreaking to have so many schools insist on dad’s information. It makes us look like we don’t need a dime. I have funds set aside for college but I am not going to financially jeopardize my future so that my child can go to xyz. At the end of the day, it all comes back to me, so if I lose my job or have a health related issue, I am toast. </p>
<p>My kids and I have talked long and hard about this subject. Not dwelled alot on the “why daddy won’t help” subject because all that will do is create and or perpetuate bitter feelings. My kids are very tuned into what is available and what I can do for them. Because I have treated them like adults, they are very grateful for what I will do, and are willing to take on a share of the burden themselves. </p>
<p>Nonetheless I have had meltdowns where I have cried because I cannot afford the full freight on a 50k school. It is such a hard thing.</p>
<p>Yes, maybe “anyone” can get into that public university you are headed to, but not everyone will actually graduate. Look at the stats on percentage of students who graduate in 5 years, it may be well under 50% of those who enroll. What does that mean? That means that by the time you get to your junior year, lots and lots of other students will be long gone, and you could very well be in classes no larger than at Famous Expensive U.</p>
<p>And, if you make half an effort, you will find plenty of people in your shoes to make friends with. There will be others in your classes who are also fully qualified academically for Famous Expensive U but who failed the final “checkbook test”.</p>
<p>actually, i think your anger should be pointed towards your parents rather than the school. $40,000 is a lot of money especially if it’s all in grants and scholarships which you won’t need to pay back. Also, did you apply for merit based aid? Villanova has plenty of scholarships based on just scholastic achievements. You could try some outside scholarships as well. The bottom line is that these schools have given you a lot in terms of cash. Because you’re parents don’t want to help you out, it is up to you to find ways in which to finance your education. It just comes down to what is more important to you: a dream school or a relatively good inexpensive education.</p>
<p>Keep your head up. You’re obviously a very bright kid and sure to do well. I would recommend that you start applying for some scholarships - they may help ends meet.</p>
<p>That happened to me, too. But then I started feeling like an ungrateful brat since at least my parents are paying for my education and I won’t have any loans but it still does suck :/</p>
<p>If it’s any consolation, you CAN be happy at whatever college you end up at. I know I’m not an ideal candidate to say such things as I’m transferring out of my college, but I really did enjoy my time here at times and am going to miss some of the people. It just really wasn’t the right fit for me, academically, and it’s really too far from home and all other sorts of factors. But I do have second thoughts sometimes but I’m deciding to leave since I know it’s better for me in the long run (for my mental health, at least lololol.)</p>
<p>There are very elite schools that are now paying for the entire bill if the student is admitted. so, it seems to me that this is the best time ever for high achieving, low and middle-income students to apply to first tier institutions. But, the OP may not be in that category if his parents have the money and just don’t want to pay. It is getting more and more expensive and unless students decide not to take out loans to supplement the aid given, they do have to compromise and go to less competitive and/or expensive colleges.</p>
<p>Hey, stop blaming everyone else. It’s really your own fault.
You have 20 grand from the folks, you can borrow another
5 or so, work in the summers etc that’s probably good for
27 or 28 grand a year. With your stats there’s lots of schools
that would give you at least 10 maybe 15 grand merit, you could
have gone to hundreds of colleges. You just chose ones that
you couldn’t attend. Kind of a "the operation was a success,
but the patient died’ kind of approach.</p>
<p>Maybe I don’t understand but I think you said you are being given aid to the tune of $40,000 a year. Not quite sure which two schools you were offered $40,000/year at, but that represents the majority of the cost of a year of attendence at any school. Was your financial aid in the form of a lot of loans - if so, I could see that imight be far too much a burden. If it was mostly grants and work study, that is a pretty great package!</p>