CSS Profile: if my father has never given me any financial support?

Paying for College
1

So my situation has a long story behind it, but I’ll try to condense it for the purposes of this question:

Basically I live with my mom in an apartment and my father lives in a separate apartment in the same building. My parents don’t speak to each other and, for FAFSA purposes, are considered separated. I was feeling pretty confident in the amount of financial aid I would receive for college, considering that my mom only makes around $20k a year to support both my brother and I.

However, now researching further into applications, I’ve discovered that some colleges require the financial information of the noncustodial parent. My father makes around $70k a year plus has a bunch of assets in his name, including over 400k saved in his bank account. However, he has never given me financial support in my life. I am not even exaggerating when I say that my mother has paid for everything since the day I was born: my father wouldn’t even give her money for diapers. (My mom wanted a divorce, but my father did not want to pay alimony or child support.) He hasn’t been on speaking terms with us for years now.

The problem is that he definitely would not give me even a penny for college. So, I’m just wondering how completing the CSS profile would work in a situation like this. Would his income be weighed in? Because if so, I don’t see why he should affect the amount of financial aid I receive, and result in a financial burden for the only parent that would help me pay for college. I know that there is a CSS waiver, but I’m not sure if it would apply in my situation, especially considering that my father lives in the same building as me but just in a different apartment.

Of course there are merit scholarships that I could apply for and FAFSA-only schools that I could apply to, but a majority of the schools I’m interested in require the CSS and would probably have me be ineligible for merit scholarships.

I was just wondering if anyone could give me any advice about what to do with the CSS profile, because I’m feeling very overwhelmed with it right now. Thank you!

2

The schools that require the CSS profile usually make you include your non-custodial parent information even if the non-custodial parent has never provided financial support. Some schools waive the non-custodial parent CSS but that is typically in situations where the non-custodial parent is completely out of the student’s life (e.,g., he or she can’t be found). You should apply do some schools that don’t require the CSS and do a little research to see which schools don’t require the non-custodial CSS (again, most do). You can always apply to a school that requires the CSS from both parents and then ask for a non-custodial parent waiver, but the willingness to do this depends on the particular school. My nephew was in a similar situation and he had some schools waive it, some gave him an extension of the deadline and some said no, they had to have it…

3

Unfortunately, his income will very likely count for those schools. While you explore his willingness to even fill out the necessary forms, make sure you have an affordable backup - that might mean guaranteed merit.

4

If the college requires the non-custodial parent form, you will need to have your dad complete that form. You know where he is. It’s not like he is out of the picture.

5

You know exactly where your father is; he lives in the same building that you do. You say that you know how much he makes and that he has over $400k in a bank account, and yet you also say that he “hasn’t been on speaking terms with us for years now.” How was his financial information communicated to you? If the numbers are right, he certainly has the capability to help pay for your education. Here’s the important part: it sounds like the only reason your father won’t assist you is because he doesn’t want to. It’s not because you don’t know where he is or can’t contact him. It’s not because he doesn’t have the money to help.

Given all the other circumstances you have provided, simply not wanting to help is not a sufficient reason for a school from whom you might ask for tens of thousands of dollars to discount your father’s responsibility to assist with your college financing. Think about it: if a parent’s refusal to provide any available college money for a child is all that’s required for a school to ignore the obligations that parent has in contributing to the college financing for a child, why wouldn’t this strategy suddenly become very popular?

You’re in a tough spot, and it sucks. Maybe there are other factors at play here that could help with getting a NCP override approved, but I still think it will be hard. There are lots of good schools out there that do not require NCP information.

6

The financial information I provided is going off what my mother knew of his income the last time she spoke to him (which was well over 7 years ago). She is just assuming he’s kept the same job and has continued his practice of putting all his money in the bank and not spending any of it.

There are definitely other factors at play (like I said, its a long story). I don’t know my father well enough to speak for him but from what my mother tells me, he has always been very stingy with money. It’s not that he doesn’t want to assist me, its that he quite literally never spends any of his income, even for himself. My mother tells me that, back when they were together, he would wear the same few, old items of clothing everyday, unwilling to buy new ones; He would make his own food from scratch, for it was cheaper; He would bike long distances, instead of taking a bus or car, in order to save money; and all around he would just spend close to nothing, especially on his wife or children. There’s a lot more to it but he’s always just been very distant (he never once wished my a happy birthday, hugged me, etc.) My mom suggested that he visit a mental health specialist or therapist, and upon his refusal she decided it would be better off to distance ourselves from him.

You’re right, I do live in the same building as him. I’ve passed by him a few times in the area: He walks right past me like I don’t exist. Him living near me doesn’t change the fact that he seems to be continuing his money extravaganzas. He definitely wouldn’t pay for my education, and its just frustrating because I don’t see how I could communicate this to colleges. Of course there are a lot of great schools that don’t require NCP information, but there are a few schools I absolutely love that do (Cornell, Northeastern, Syracuse).

I read somewhere that NCP waivers may be allowed due to a parent’s history of unsupport. Knowing this, would I have a chance at a waiver? What documentation would support my father’s behavior?

7

Since your parents are not divorced it will be even harder to waive the NCP. It’s a sucky situation that unfortunately is too hard to get out of.

8

^^Not so. Her bio parents are not together. That’s the status. There is no court order (that we know of) concerning support.

9

Something is wrong with this story. The mom never needed dad’s agreement to get a divorce. She could have sought it on her own and got the support order w/o his agreement.

10

@ariana29638

You need to find colleges that do not require the non-custodial parent information. Period.

Do you have the ACT or SAT score…and GPA to be a competitive applicant at colleges that meet full need and do NOT require the non-custodial parent information?

Does your state have any aid for low income students?

Is there a college within commuting distance of your home?

If your income is really $20,000 a year…you would get the full Pell Grant and could also take the $5500 Direct Loan for freshman year. That would give you $11,400 total. That should pay tuition costs at a community college…if you can commute.

11

I don’t think colleges will be very sympathetic to a mom who settled for supporting 2 children on a $20k/year income while her husband, who lives down the hall, has an income of ~$70k, almost half a million dollars in cash, and other assorted assets. If she wasn’t willing to take him to court for child support, why should the college make up the difference for him? Think of it this way. Your dad has at least $400k in cash (probably much more if that figure is “well over” 7 years old and he saves everything). If colleges awarded you and your brother $25k/year because your dad won’t pay, that’s like handing him an extra $200k. Why should they do that?

It’s unfortunate that your parents put you in this situation, but your mom may be able to do something about it. Instead of depending on the colleges to give you money, why doesn’t your mother use the system at her disposal and file for support? You have a dad, and he has money. Depending on the laws of your state, if she divorces him she may even have a right to a portion of it (and she could include a clause about providing college funding). If she’s not willing to divorce him or ask the courts for whatever child support she can still get, then you probably need to look for colleges that only require the FAFSA.

CSS Profile schools are going to ask about your dad’s income, and it’s going to be tough to sell that your dad has so much money at his disposal but colleges should ignore it. If they did for you, they’d have to for every kid who said their noncustodial parent won’t pay, and they can’t afford to do that. I don’t know what information you can get to support your father’s behavior, but even if it exists it’s going to be really tough to document the reasons for your mother’s. A parent who sued for support and received none is going to appear much more sympathetic than one who, for whatever reasons, didn’t.

I wish you luck with this process. I don’t think it’s going to be easy. Make sure your list includes a couple of financial safeties so you know for sure you have some place to go next fall.

12

There are some Profile schools that do not require the non-custodial parent form. But read their websites carefully because some have their own form, or say they can request that information later in the process if they so choose.

This poster would be better off finding colleges that do NOT use the non-custodial parent form…or get that information in another way.

13

@ariana29638 , it doesn’t seem as if colleges will (or should) ignore your bio dad’s income and assets. Just think if colleges accepted all stories of why bio parents can’t/won’t pay for college – no one would pay! Although to you your story seems special, it really isn’t, unfortunately.

Go for the schools that only use FAFSA and/or don’t take into account the non custodial parent’s income/assets. Go on the hunt for merit aid. Don’t get stuck thinking only certain schools are good enough for you because you deserve it (we see that a lot here on CC). Hunt down the ones that make the most financial sense to attend. Follow the $.

And keep in mind the Rolling Stones song about, “You can’t always get what you want…but you just might get what you need.”

14

I read most of the posts here and they are NOT correct and are simply too discouraging. Frankly, personal experience matters.

The CSS profile, and the universities who rely on that service, WILL AND DO incorporate additional information specific to individual families. Many if not most universities will NOT punish the child for the failure of a noncustodial parent to help support this person. Obviously, then, the universities will have a mechanism for determining the veracity of this sort of claim. If they did not make this difficult, they would get scammed. But the process exists.

As an example, if a university requires a financial form be filled out by the noncustodial parent, there will be ANOTHER form available to request to waive this first form! I have a very close relative who has gone through this very process. The process takes some time and effort, as it should. This waiver form requires documentation of some sort to support the claim that the noncustodial parent is not providing financial support. For example, letters of support from trusted members of the community who know your personal situation.

I suggest that this original poster do the following: Most important - if dad is willing, get him to write a letter (and get it notarized) that says clearly I do not provide financial support and I have not for X years. Also, there are others in this poster’s life who know these family details (e.g., pediatrician, clergy, school counselor). Get letters from each one of these. Get these letters sooner rather than later.

If your family income is very low and you are eligible for support services, then it is possible that at some point in the application process, your personal family situation has already been explained, supported, and approved. If this is the case, collect that documentation.

Then be sure to apply to a variety of schools. It is NOT the case that all CSS schools will handle this situation identically. Each school will have its own policy and its own unique willingness to be flexible.

Best of luck. Feel free to PM me with additional questions.

15

While this is all good advice, and it can’t hurt to try, I think what most posters here are saying is not to count on that NCP waiver process, especially given the physical proximity of the dad.

One thought I had when reading OP’s story is that it sounds like the dad has some kind of mental illness, that perhaps can be a factor.

I lined up some resources to do the waiver for my D but wound up not needing to. The first person I spoke to was my child’s guidance counselor, to ask if she’d ever done a NPC waiver form, and if she would be willing to help if my D needed one. She was very receptive.

16

I think the father signing a letter stating he doesn’t and won’t provide support is meaningless. I think many non-custodial parents would if it meant their kids would get more aid. Some parents just won’t pay. Some of those parents are still married to each other and their kid is a dependent. It sucks, but it doesn’t get you a non-custodial waiver.

Schools will grant a non-custodial waiver if the parent can’t be located, is in jail, is in a foreign country and can’t be found, etc. I doubt they will grant it for a guy living down the hall who just doesn’t want to pay.

17

@twoinanddone Sure it might not help, but it is useful starting point. The process is difficult because there is a HUGE incentive to falsify this sort of claim. The waiver form requires letters of support and the letters from others who have been involved with the family for years are likely to matter the most.

18

@BelknapPoint What is most relevant about the dad’s unwillingness to pay is that he has not been helping AT ALL for years. It does not matter that he will not help for college specifically. What is important is that he has not been a source of financial support in any way for years.

19

We went through this process during the last admissions cycle. We requested waivers from six schools, all were granted. Some schools were more demanding of proof than others. Four had official waiver forms, which are found somewhere in the financial aid section of the school’s website. The other two schools, I emailed and asked how to request an NCP waiver and they told me their requirements. Generally you will be required to answer questions about contact with the NCP, location of the NCP and support from the NCP. If I recall correctly, all six wanted a letter from a third party which substantiated the lack of involvement of the NCP. Generally they suggested doctors, leaders of one’s religious community or school personnel. They specifically do not want lawyers, I’m not sure why. One school wanted two third party letters.

After you submit all the paperwork, you wait and see if they waive the NCP requirement or not. Two of the schools emailed to let me know the waiver was granted, the other four I found out by checking my son’s financial aid portal.

Given our circumstances, I was fairly certain waivers would be granted. In your case, since I think it’s unclear if waivers will be granted, I suggest you apply to some FAFSA-only schools as well.

20

But many non-custodial parents pay only until high school graduation or 18 years old, because they are ordered to. Then it stops. That doesn’t help the child get to/through college at all. Why shouldn’t that child also get extra help in college? What about the child whose family is still intact, but the parents just think they’ve done all they have to to get the child through high school and won’t pay any more?

I don’t agree with you that having a document that says the father won’t pay will help in any way. The school will either expect him to pay or not, and his saying he won’t pay won’t change anything.

I know someone who is looking at colleges for her son. The son asked (in front of me) whether his father would have to fill out any forms “because you know he won’t.” They have had a terribly messy divorce that has gone on for about 12 years of fighting and squabbling. Neither child visits him anymore (they are 14 and 17). The mother said “It’s all been taken care of” but I think she’s in for a big surprise. We live in a state where child support is not ordered after age 18. It can be agreed to, but not ordered. These people agreed to NOTHING. This guy doesn’t pay for one thing that isn’t court ordered.

Should colleges give this family a pass because the father is a jerk? He pays what’s ordered but that will stop next May for child #1.