<p>I'm looking for some imput on a situation that basically asks the question: is Emory worth it?</p>
<p>Here's the deal: I'm a current freshman so I've only been at Emory a few months...and it's ok so far. The classes are alright, but socially i'm not getting very far. Since school started my mom has been having some medical problems and the doctors think that she might have cancer. While it's not certain yet, my mom's health isn't the greatest anyway. This is playing a big role in my desire to go to school closer to home. When i made the choice to come to Emory, I'm not sure if i actually asked myself if i was ready to be on my own almost 3000 miles away from my friends and family; i just thought 'oh. i'll go to a good school'. So i've been seriously considering going to school in my hometown after the first semester. The school i would go to would have to be a community college, which is a big step down from Emory. However, since i've been thinking about becoming a nurse lately, the CC in my town has a pretty competitive program. Is Emory worth staying if I feel like I could be happier at home? I know that my determination and drive will take me far no matter where i go to school. What are some possible reasons to stay at Emory despite my mom's situation and my desire to go home? (I'm trying to fully consider all sides of this before making such an important life decision) </p>
<p>Any opinions, advice, or support would be greatly appreciated and if you have any questions about something i forgot to say i'll be happy to answer.</p>
<p>I know none of you can answer this for me because it's ultimately about what i want, I just feel really lost and am looking for some outside perspective.</p>
<p>I'm very sorry to hear about your mother's health, but I am sure she appreciates your selfless consideration of going to a nearby school out of concern for her well being. Additionally, it doesn't sound from your post that you are especially committed to being at Emory as it's just "ok so far." Given that, along with circumstances at home and a budding interest in nursing in which you can receive sufficient training locally, I think it's very appropriate to consider the transfer. </p>
<p>Even if you absolutely loved Emory I think it must be difficult, at best, to fully enjoy the experience with such heavy concerns, and being so far away. Indeed, family comes first, and you are young, resilient, and obviously very smart with a bright future. I don't think leaving Emory would change that. </p>
<p>But you do sound conflicted. Therefore, before you just transfer, you might want to just look at taking leave for a semester without actually withdrawing. That will give you more time to sort things out. I don't think you should make a final decision until you are absolutely certain.</p>
<p>It is very sensitive and understanding of you to consider changing your college in light of your mom's health problems. Being that far from home is a huge adjustment, without the added stress and worry about a parent. </p>
<p>I imagine your mother is very proud of you for tackling such a good school, in a whole new region of the country. Before you make any definite change of plans, discuss your feelings with her. Are you going home for Christmas break? That would be the ideal time to bring up the issue. </p>
<p>By then she may have her diagnosis and a plan for treatment. With that information you can decided if your help and moral support would benefit your mom.</p>
<p>You might be able to take a leave of absence from Emory for a semester or two while your mom is treated. (And take a class or two at the CC towards your core.) Talk to your academic dean and hear what the options are. </p>
<p>By winter break I bet you'll feel more comfortable socially, and have made lovely friends.</p>
<p>If your mother's diagnosis indicates a good recovery, she might prefer you to continue at Emory. If the prognosis is less sure, going home might be the comfort you and your mom both need. </p>
<p>You sound like a wonderful daughter and I'm sure your parents are very proud of you. What a tough position to be in at your age.</p>
<p>I think its great you are weighing the pros and cons but at the same time, I hope you wait as long as you can to make your decision. Time will help you so much- both in terms of learning what is going on healthwise for your mom, and also in terms of adjusting to your new school.</p>
<p>The only other thing I would add is try to clarify for yourself how much of your decision is about your mom's health and how much is about how happy you are at your school (the social fitting in part that you mentioned). I could be wrong, but I sense that both may be impacting your feelings right now; if you can tease out how much of each is pushing your consideration of moving back to your hometown, it might help you to make the best decision.</p>
<p>Sorry to hear about your Mom. I like fauve's suggestion a lot. If you commit to yourself to "I'm taking a semester's leave when Mom needs me there" I believe it will be easier to focus on your classes as well as be supportive from a distance. Good luck to both you and your Mom. I'm sure you'll get through this.</p>
<p>Another thought- is there a "flagship" state U that is a bit closer, or easily accessible to your home that has a good nursing program?<br>
I can understand wanting to be a bit closer to home during this period, but your mom probably doesn't want you to put your life on hold because of her illness.<br>
I'm concerned that living at home and going to the cc in your town, may become too much of a burden due your mom's illness. So maybe explore the possibilities of a school with a good nursing program that's within a few hours of home- so you would be able to go home on week-ends if you felt it necessary.
good luck.</p>
<p>ps- and to answer your question- is Emory worth it?? I'm in NYS. I know some kids who have gotten their RN degrees from SUNY Buffalo. I think in most instances, the state U with a nursing program will meet your needs with alot less cost than Emory.</p>
<p>I don't have a lot to add to the excellent advice and support already posted.</p>
<p>I would just want you to know that your social malaise and desire to be closer to home are not at all unusual at this time in many students' freshman years. So, to the extent that these unsettled feelings are really driving your thoughts of transferring closer to home.... you might want to hold off and wait to see how you feel after you have completed one full term. Many people who feel as you do now turn out to feel very attached to their current school by the beginning of second term.</p>
<p>However, you have some valid reasons beyond your current feelings to consider transferring to the cc, so there is nothing wrong with that.</p>
<p>Just don't feel that you have to decide right now.</p>
<p>thank you all so much for your help. It looks as if my mom doesn't have cancer after all. she got her results back today...However I am still considering doing the leave of absence for a semester. It's hard to explain, but something in my heart feels off..i don't know if i'll really be happy here. If you have any further advice I would love to hear it.. :D</p>
<p>go see your college counselor with an open heart and know that it could be the right thing for you to consider changing colleges based only on your gut feelings (which you should explore and respect) but you don't want to go about it in a way that will penalize you. Take your time on this. Managing being alone in a sea of people is part of adult life, and this is what I told my sons when I dropped them off at any college experience. Expect to feel alone sometimes and get comfortable with that for a while. There is no reason you should have to be happy right now, and it is perfectly OK that you feel it might not "fit" for you to live in Atlanta for four years. There are hundreds of great colleges in the USA and probably some closer to home of great quality, too. But don't rush. The very things that might be a tonic for you and help you put down roots at Emory may not have occured to you yet, or you may be "Holding Back" and not ready to commit yet. You are in a state of hesitation and ambivalence. Think of ambivalence as a 21st century luxury, and embrace it, but also...explore it. I truly think that 3 sessions with a counselor on staff at Emory which would be entirely confidential...is the way to go. A score of people leave every year and go on to have wonderful lives some place else. Normal!<br>
Emory's School of Nursing is especially great. I worked with grads in Atlanta over at Wesley Woods off of Clifton Road years and years ago. Yes, though you can find your way in nursing on your own two feet somewhere else too.
this is the phrase that you should explore in a couple of sessions..there is tons of evidence that short term counseling is very effective..you are not crazy you are on the fence. </p>
<p>"socially i'm not getting very far"--quote</p>
<p>that is a very core issue for someone your age in terms of happiness or perceived happiness compared to others. Look into that more. Perhaps you need to alter your expectations, and get involved in one or two good things to buffer this feeling until more time has passed and you start to realize that you could have long term friendships with people around you blossoming.
Please know that the people I thought were quiet, boring, too square the first months of college (I am a big talker/initiater because I was a military brat and basically had to figure out how to make friends fast) turned out to be the people standing up at my wedding and the honorary Aunts to my children. Some of the party central people turned out to be the real bores. The extroverts at college at first do run the show and can basically traumatize the students who are less certain where they fit in...but that is not the end of the story. There are many people who are going to show you their stuff over time. Give them a chance. Even people who seem shallow today could turn out to be the adults you truly admire in two years, so my advice to my sons is to not hold any grudges based on freshman year behavior of either the dominant kids or the more reserved kids...stay OPEN.<br>
take uber good care of yourself and respect your right to these feelings. This is a passage you are going through...something good will come out of it...if you do the work and I recommend that this be 3 one hour apts. You will be surprised how it could help you clarify the issues and relieve you some.
I am not saying Emory should be your future home. I would just make sure to use the free counseling services to explore your ambivalence and the emotions that prevent you from truly viewing Emory as your future second home. You came so far, and you have the ability to do the work.<br>
There is nothing pathological by the way at realizing you want to attend college in a region close to loving parents and relations. Stay open to that too.</p>
<p>There is a student struggling with social anxiety on another thread and, if you have not been to that thread, I am going to quote some passages from this post over there. I think it is really spot on for that student.</p>
<p>Are you sure you could get into the community college nursing program? In my town, the nursing program is quite literally more selective than Harvard, and certainly more than Emory. (and much more difficult to get into than the 4-year nursing programs in our state). </p>
<p>Just something to add to the mix.</p>
<p>I too would urge you to talk to your college counselor, and not do anything too hasty.</p>