Current student/alumnus willing to read my community essay?

<p>Would really appreciate some more opinions on it; my family has said they don't like it, but I'm not sure if I agree so some other perspectives would be very helpful. (UM Current student or alumnus with reasonable post count would be ideal just for sake of avoiding plagiarism and all that fun stuff). If you are willing, please send me a PM. Thanks so much! :)</p>

<p>(On mobile and tried to edit but accidentally posted two threads… Sorry!)</p>