Need feedback on my UMich supplemental essays

Colleges and Universities A-Z University of Michigan
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Hello, the deadline for Early Action is fast approaching (Nov. 1st) and I’m looking for some feedback on my university of Michigan supplemental essays. I’m kind of iffy about my community essay, but I think my Why Michigan essay is decently strong and just needs some tweaking.

I’d really like it if any current U-M students or parents (or, rather, anyone else who’s applied to a prestigious university and knows how important the essays are) could read it and give me some advice and hard-core constructive criticism, If necessary. (Please no one that’s currently applying, just to prevent any possible copying, plagiarism, etc :slight_smile: )

Thanks a bunch!

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Bump

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Feel free to message me, but Im not going to really be technical in my criticism (i.e. no grammar stuff, not going to proofread and fix every minute detail). I’d give you more general advice such as organization or what to add/delete to make it more appealing to the admissions committee.
Keep in mind that A) I’m a current UMich freshman (no need to worry about copying) and B) I’m not the admission committee so I can’t 100% speak for what they’re looking for.

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@Wolverine8 thanks so much! I’ll PM them to you