She specifically concerned because people on the FB group don’t seem like her tribe. She is quieter but a loyal friend and has minimal social media interactions. Any suggestions from people who have been there done that? We can’t make it to the campus for admitted student days
Not sure about Occidental specifically, but I do know that both my kids found the FB and other social media groups f for their admitted schools to be dominated by lots of big talk about alcohol, drugs, and sex. Once they got to campus, they realized it was a lot of hot air by teens trying to act “mature.” Your daughter might have more success finding her tribe by reaching out to student organizations on campus, and asking about involvement as a freshman etc.
If your D is not normally into social media I would agree to just stay off the Facebook page and remember all the things that attracted her to Oxy in the first place. I am sure she will find her tribe when she gets there.
I would try hard to arrange for her to do one of the OxyEngage pre-orientation tours. Not very expensive and generally these pre-orientation setups are good ways to make a few friends ahead of time in a smaller group setting. Might be just the ticket if your D is a little shy and/or overwhelmed at the prospect of all those strangers on the first day on campus. They offer a wide range of themes and it is also a way to meet some people with common interests.
My daughter chose not to join facebook groups at her accepted colleges for exactly those reasons. She didn’t want to be put off by what she had already heard: a lot of the facebook pages are full of big talk. My D was super worried about partying. Her fears have been unfounded. In fact, she is incredulous because her school was recently listed as a top “beer” school and she is mystified at the rep. Most colleges will have partying, and all of them will have students who are not into partying. Not all students join the facebook groups, either. D hasn’t suffered one bit from not joining the facebook group.
I have heard similar stories plenty of times, and I agree with others, above. Has she done her research? She can go on Niche to see student reports about partying. Students tend to be pretty honest on Niche. Your daughter should focus more on the pressure aspect. At some colleges, there is definitely pressure to partake of drugs and booze. If that is a concern, she needs to do a little research to find out if it’s a problem at Oxy.
Back in the Pleistocene era of college admissions when I applied, I was invited to a get-together in L.A. of admitted (and committed) students to Reed College sponsored by the family of one of the admittees. I knew nothing about Reed except that it was strong on academics, and it had been recommended to me by an uncle who was a college professor. I had never visited it. At that get-together, however, one of the students asked me an odd question: “What do you think about the Bohemian influence on campus?”
A. I had no idea what Bohemian influence meant. B. I had no idea about the atmosphere on campus except it was reputed to be “intellectual.” C. I didn’t want to appear to be prejudiced against people from another country. D. I didn’t want to appear to be ignorant.
So I told him. “Oh, that doesn’t bother me. I like to meet different kinds of people.” And so I did, when I first arrived at campus for orientation week.
Why did she apply to Occidental? Presumably there were good reasons. She should think about those.
Some of the kids in the facebook group, may not end up at the school, so don’t let a few kids, who may not even end up being her classmates dissuade her. She may want to see if she can talk to some current students to get some of her questions answered. The admissions office can likely set that up
Has she visited campus? If so, how she felt when she was on campus is probably the most telling sign.
Laughed out loud at your post. Great story! Thank you for using “Pleistocene” in a sentence, and I adore reason “C.”
Just for an FYI, my daughter used her school’s accepted student Facebook page to figure out which students to AVOID! Your d will find her tribe. I went to Oxy 30 years ago and there were many tribes. It is even more diverse now – it is a sweet school with lots of different people.
That’s sort of what I thought too. Thanks for an unbiased opinion !
Oxyengage looks appealing. Thanks for the suggestion
Did you check out the Occidental CC page? There may be some parents that are still active posters on cc that you could PM with any concerns, or read through old threads. But yes, don’t pay much attention to the facebook page. While social media gets all the hype, there are still plenty of teens not into the bold social media scene. There are plenty of kids that do not find room mates on facebook and rely on the school matching profiles. Not everyone wants to put all their “stuff” out there including my two CS majors who know better about doing so. 
Can she visit and get a feel for the students herself? I do think that the college FB pages tend to be dominated by extroverts and social-media savvy kids, so I wouldn’t put too much stock into what she is seeing there. However, if it seems to be lots of admitted students and the vibe doesn’t feel right I would really plan a visit to see what the campus actually feels like.
My daughter ('14), my husband, brother and brother in law all attended Oxy. It is a wonderful, wonderful school filled with wonderful, wonderful kids. Hands down it was the happiest campus we visited, and we visited many of them. Most of all, the students were friendly. Tell your daughter that Oxy has many kinds of people, and that even the people who are different from one another get along well. Folks have to respect and get along with one another on a campus that is so intimate. She will love Oxy.
Hi! I’m a current Oxy first-year and what @momesq has to say resonates with me. Are there specific aspects of Oxy which worry your child? I had concerns coming in that my very intense, cerebral personality wouldn’t jive with the laid-back Oxy students. I was wrong, and found many students much smarter and more hard-working than myself. Now I’ve happily found a very interesting and diverse group of friends.
I think the small size of Oxy can be intimidating, but thats also a compelling reason to attend. Students here are mature, balanced, and hold each other accountable. I found a level of maturity and intellectual diversity unmatched by the more “prestigious” liberal arts colleges I was considering.