<p>Twistedx - I really appreciate your perspective. What you have described is what I hope for and what seems appropriate to me. My concern is that D would not ask for help unless she fell apart and if we anticipate that, we could overdo it. It’s very interesting to me how it’s worked for other people, but I know we will have to see what works. I worry about this D and want her to be successful and independent but know that she needs a little more support than the average teen.</p>
<p>Well, in that respect I guess you will just have to rely on your motherly instincts. My family really didn’t know how I was going to do, my mom thinks that I am very dependent (I don’t know why?) and I have anxiety disorders and depression, but for whatever reason I am fine, better than I am at home. I think the best thing you can do is encourage her to get involved. She’ll make friends, and she’ll be too occupied to worry about whatever it is you are worried about. And the quicker she finds a support system at school, the better. It took me a really long time to make friends, and in the beginning it was really good that my mom was so available. She didn’t hop over here every time I got upset (or at all, for that matter, the first several weeks), but she always picked up the phone when I called. </p>
<p>My mom got unlimited texting for us before I left and we do text a LOT, which I think helps both of us and maybe tips her off about when a grocery stop might be nice. We probably text every day, though we only call when we have something to say that is too long to text (maybe once or twice a week, on average). I tell her about pretty much every funny or interesting thing that happens during the day. At the beginning she got a lot of roommate complaints, but it improved. Keeps us both from getting lonely, and she knows when she is needed and when she isn’t. That kind of contact may be abnormal for some families, but in mine when daughters leave they do just naturally talk with mom a lot, we get along much better with distance. 
Time will tell how things will go and what she will need. There may be some bumps along the way, I had some hard ones my first few months, but it worked itself out fairly quickly. I would just caution you not to second guess your D out loud too much, she needs to believe she can do this and if she thinks you doubt her that is going to be a major confidence shaker.</p>