Believe me I love looking at all the ridiculously good looking 18-22 year old’s as a old non-traditional (started back at 28, finishing the BS now at 33). After my divorce got into the pants of a few undergrads as young as 19, but considering any of them marriage material is pure fantasy.
I’m currently dating a 25 year old grad student and every now and then her immaturity will show. If they haven’t ever had to pay their own bills or had a real honest to god salaried job, then how are you going to relate to each other?
I understand the dilemma of wanting to find a female who has a large biological buffer for making kids, but I would stick with ones who aren’t as in flux as undergrads. Are you getting your bachelor’s as well? That means you are in flux anyway and this scenario will likely play out to its logical conclusion; people on different trajectories in their lives aren’t typically going to wind up with eachother.
tl;dr wait until you get a job or grad school, then start looking at your “peers”
Woman is with another woman 18 years older than her. Creepy? I don’t think so.
The truth: Adults are adults are adults. People should mind their own business, essentially.
To answer Hunt: I asked because I wondered if anyone could present a rational argument that someone is truly “victimized” in an age-gapped relationship. The answer is, no one, so far, has been able to argue that. The only thing any one can say is that “society says” this or that. And even in this thread, people have different views on what “society says”.
And Woody Allen is married to his daughter. Definitely adds credence to the stigma.
OP, if you’re looking for marriage, you probably shouldn’t be looking for people who are just barely or legal drinking age or maybe even under it. No 20 year old in the 21st century is eager to get married. They still wanna have fun and enjoy life. It just seems weird and uncomfortable and I say that as someone who almost had a thing with a 26 year old and I’m a freshman in college. About the dad thing, have a child at 18 and 19 years old is not strange and foreign. There are a lot of people who are late 30s and early 40s who have kids in college. Technically, at around 13 years older or so, you’re old enough to be their dad.
And I get that it will be really fun for you when you’re almost 50 years old, and have a fun, perky wife in her late 20s, but what’s the appeal with dating someone so young?
Our brains aren’t even fully developed until our mid 20s. So yes, there is a level of victimization when you’re brain is fully developed and you’re dating someone who doesn’t have a fully developed brain. They still make irrational decisions that they wouldn’t make at your age. Go to the grad school hang out spots off campus. The last thing you want is to date a 20 year old, not have it work out, and then have the more mature 25 year old women label you as a perv and a creep.
it sounds weird to me, but if someone is happy doing that, it’s none of my business. You may get in trouble with faculty if you hit on college girls(many would percieve it as creepy and report it) but if one takes the initiative herself I don’t see a problem with it. Just FYI, most 20 year old girls aren’t interested in marriage and may not be ready for a serious relationship, so you’d probably be happier with someone your own age.
This website probably isn’t the best place to talk about dating. The reason this site is called “college confidential” is because the people who go on here went, or are either planning to go, to college. People who go to college, particularly those who graduate college, are academically ambitious, and people who are academically ambitious tend to be too nerdy to know much about social things like dating. In general, the more academically-oriented someone is, the more introverted they tend to be. I’m not saying this is the case with everybody, but it is a common trend. People who are serious enough to pursue education beyond high school are probably going to be too serious for things like dating. Also, people who are in college are probably going to be too busy for dating anyway. It isn’t like high school, where you can not work hard and graduate anyway.