<p>Someone on the first page asked whether some colleges require additional essays for merit scholarships. The answer is yes. Now my D has written so many essays that I told her there are no new questions she can be asked.</p>
<p>I think the financial part will work out one way or the other as many others here have suggested. However, I’d be deeply concerned over the intesity of the attitude you described. That sounds to me like a much bigger impediment to going forward. While I agree that applications can be a pretty exhausting process with the potential to bring out the worst, if my kid were having a standoff with me of the nature described I’d be tempted to wish her good luck and add another $100k to the retirement account. I hold mutual respect as being critically important, and perhaps like your husband, when that element ceases to exist, I shut down on the issue altogether.</p>
<p>Agree with Flvadad…Sort through the scholarship apps and pick the ones that make the most sense and insist that she fill them out. My kids moaned a little bit about the local ones and the college ones, but we insisted and they both received a couple of additional scholarships. Goodness as my mother would say “money doesn’t grow on trees.” Give your D a day or two to chill out and then just sit her fanny down and tell her this isn’t “optional.” I know my H and I would be very upset if our kids had that sort of laizze faire attitude about money.</p>
<p>Did she apply to UMass? She probably has the best shot at scholarships there being an in-state student with good stats and I’d guess that the COA would be around $21-$24K which is within your budget for her. With a little hustle, she could make $4K in the summer and $2K during the school year with an on-campus job.</p>
<p>Agree that scholarship essays can be recycled from college apps (might require some tweaking, but not wholesale writing from scratch).</p>
<p>S1 sat down and figured out how much scholarship $$$ he earned from his research. He was rather impressed with the hourly rate, and we told him he might never make that much per hour again in his life!!</p>
<p>The biggest bang for the effort is merit scholarships for colleges, renewable for 4 years. Local scholarships can be helpful, but typically only a one-time award. And around us they were often linked to financial need.</p>
<p>Nonetheless, the OP’s daughter should at least acknowledge her parent’s generosity and make an effort to find a few appropriately matched scholarships. </p>
<p>My son ended up applying only to one (how music enhanced his high school experience). It sounded like he’d have a good shot at it. When an excerpt from the winning essay was read, the answer even sounded like him. The scholarship went to another applicant, but I’m glad he tried.</p>
<p>DD won enough small scholarships to cover 2 years of her state school and a bit of a third year. I’d say it was definitely worth her time. I think the total she ended up with was 15, including one she got last summer.</p>
<p>My kid was totally burned out by this time of year and was taking a killer course load too so there was no break.</p>
<p>Often with high income, you will not qualify for many local scholarships because there is a need component that they consider–even if they say they don’t. That was our experience. Daughter applied for many scholarships locally, nationally and at colleges, and put in nice applications and ended up with nothing. She had great recs, great test scores, #2 class rank, solid ECs. Got into all of her schools, but no merit aid and just missed NMSF by 1 point. (ACTs were much higher than SATs)</p>
<p>Second, if she is getting some financial aid from a college, outside scholarships can reduce the amount of the award so its a zero sum game–the college just gives you less FA money. </p>
<p>I agree with previous posters about skin in the game and that your D should be appreciative about the 100K. I’d be tempted to tell her that you can find other ways to spend the money if she continues with her attitude. Give it a week and see what she is like. </p>
<p>Our D chose an ivy where she only got loans. So she pays 10k/year ($5500 borrowed and the rest through work in summer and during the school year).</p>
<p>S1 had no luck with local scholarships but did get two merit scholarships from his university. He applied for those after he had already applied for/ been awarded a ROTC scholarship. We told him that any unused money(due to scholarships) in his college savings acct. would be his when he graduated. That was good motivation to write a couple of essays.</p>
<p>Ok pack mom, you found me again… If she would just pick ncsu she really wouldn’t need any aid!!! Looking forward to our trip at the end of the month, we haven’t cancel our flights yet…</p>
<p>Your experience is exactly similar to what we went through last year. My son was exhausted from all the college apps, so the idea of looking at another essay deadline was a killer. I made him apply to a few scholarships that I thought he had the best chance: one national where he had been recommended and one local. The process was brutal, and he was just shutting down. It was like I was talking to him while he couldn’t keep his eyes open.</p>
<p>There was one scholarship I really wanted to apply for at a particular college. The application was half done, but since he never thought he’d go there, he blew it off. March and April comes along and his mailbox gets filled up with acceptances along with wonderful merit-based scholarships. By the May 1st deadline, he has to choose. And guess what? He went with the college that had specific, generous scholarships that applicants only get if they apply for it. UGH! When my DH discovered he “never bothered” to apply, he was livid. And it’s still a thorn, even when we find out how hard it is to get those scholarships.</p>
<p>My suggestion: tell your DD that you’ll limit the number of scholarships she has to apply to, but she has to apply to them. Then choose the college-specific scholarships; they’re most generous and more numerous.</p>
<p>My son is one of those burnt out Srs who is so tired of applications and essays. I got a bit of attitude during the last one. He told me he didn’t like filling out forms. It’s very out of character for him and normally I would cut him some slack, but this just stung and felt so entitled. I made it clear that I didn’t LIKE filling out the fafsa, profile, loan applications, or writing a check for $100k but I was going to do it because it was important. Make no mistake every cent will come willingly, but every cent will be earned and noticed. There has not been a single word about not filling out scholarship apps since. </p>
<p>He’s an awesome kid, but even awesome kids have their moments. Only you can determine if your awesome kid was having a moment, or if this is an attitude of entitlement. If you think an attitude adjustment is in order I would really suggest considering a Gap year as BBDad noted. Students take them for any number of reasons. Some to earn money, travel, destress, and some just benefit from a reality check.</p>
<p>She fills out the paperwork or she doesn’t get the money. PERIOD. YOU HOLD ALL THE CARDS HERE. If she has a better idea on how to get 100k or wants to continue to be a spoiled brat then let her go and find the money herself.</p>
<p>Sheesh, kids these days are the way they are because parents have enabled it to happen. Sorry OP. You need to remember who is adult and in charge here. </p>
<p>Kids should want to help their parents help them. If not, they do not deserve the help. End of story.</p>
<p>Our school gives kids a booklet with local scholarships, which they mostly just sign up to apply for. A few have essay, but most don’t. If your child or your family is planning on taking a big trip after graduation, you are disqualified from many. But others have no income requirement. The funds are spread out pretty evenly among the students, and not just top students: had working students, students with certain goals, etc.</p>
<p>This booklet is given out in the spring, close to graduation, so kids aren’t that burned out at that time, and all know where they are headed by then.</p>
<p>Since our kids get financial aid, these “outside scholarships” were simply deducted from the total amount of aid awarded by the schools. I feel badly about this, and think perhaps it is now an outdated practice to award local scholarships to kids who are getting financial aid. Local businesses, non-profits and individuals work hard to raise these scholarship funds, and they really don’t end up making any difference to the kids’ financial situation.</p>
<p>One exception: local scholarships can often wipe out the first year work requirement, and sometimes can be used for a computer, without affecting financial aid awards from the colleges.</p>
<p>Big essay burnout with our D too. Rather than have a big battle, we are only requiring that she persue scholarships that award >$1000, are local, and don’t require a whole new essay. This narrowed down the list to something she could agree to. We expect to agressively push the issue next year, when she will have more opportunity for departmental awards and those limited to her major.</p>
<p>I completely agree with post #53.</p>
<p>My daughter would be doing the jig, literally, if we gifted her with $100,000 for school. Even if we could, I’m not sure we would. And there would be no attitude, I can’t even fathom that. </p>
<p>She filled out many applications for local scholarships, and got one-for $250.00. She was thrilled to be called up on stage during the awards ceremony like the big dogs in her class who got the real money. </p>
<p>I feel sad for the op who is giving her daughter this wonderful gift.</p>
<p>I have just one counter-thought here. If she is really just burned out, and if she has really been working hard, and she’s a great kid, and this scene isn’t really in character, etc…then you might consider filling out parts of these forms yourself. Obviously, you can’t write the essay (which is probably the main sticking point), but you can fill out the factual forms, get a big envelope, etc. My point is that if this is an unusual situation, it’s less important to “win” the power struggle over this.</p>
<p>her loans will cost her anywhere from about $60 to $600 per month after graduation</p>
<p>Those loans that will exceed the federal student loan limits will require YOU to co-sign. Since she feels that you should be paying more, I wouldn’t trust her to pay THOSE loans back.</p>
<p>The loans that SHE alone can borrow will total about $27k and have payments of about $300 per month. That is ALL that I would allow her to borrow…period. More than that is too much for undergrads ANYWAY.</p>
<p>With all due respect, the simple fact is that there aren’t many scholarships out there for the ‘average’ kid; most are extremely competitive stat-wise, or require some type of highly-valued or unique community service. For most students, applying IS a waste of their time (and that of teachers who have to write the recs).</p>
<p>*I am pretty confident she’ll be able to handle the loans as we’re estimating them. *</p>
<p>???</p>
<p>You’ve estimated the high end to be about $600 a month …for TEN LONG YEARS. I don’t know many newish grads who can afford to pay that much. That’s like 2 EXTRA car payments in addition to any real car payment that she has…and, in addition to fed taxes, state taxes, FICA, rent, utilities, car expenses (gas/insurance/repairs), phone, cable, internet, food, entertainment, clothing. If you were to ask most kids in their 20s if they could afford to pay 3 extra car payments every month, they would look at you as if you’ve lost your mind.</p>
<p>Most newish grads can barely cover their everyday expenses…few can also fork out $600 a month for TEN LONG YEARS.</p>
<p>What kind of career is your D seeking? How much will she be likely earning when she graduates?</p>
<p>You cannot count on your child “living at home” and working to save on rent so as to make her loan payments. You don’t know where she’ll end up working and you don’t know if she’ll be in a relationship where she’ll want to live elsewhere. </p>
<p>And again, half of that loan amount would require YOUR signature…you’d be on the hook if she didn’t pay. </p>
<p>Also…WHAT will happen if your D takes longer than 4 years to graduate??? Many students change their majors or whatever…and they take longer than 4 years.</p>
<p>*With all due respect, the simple fact is that there aren’t many scholarships out there for the ‘average’ kid; most are extremely competitive stat-wise, or require some type of highly-valued or unique community service. For most students, applying IS a waste of their time (and that of teachers who have to write the recs). *</p>
<p>I agree. They often have a “need component” or URM status req’t. They’re often small AND ONLY FOR ONE YEAR. So, what is supposed to go towards education costs for soph, junior and senior years???</p>
<p>I think the MISTAKE was letting her apply to pricey OOS publics that don’t give big merit (like Penn State - totally unaffordable). If she wanted to go OOS, then she should have applied to schools that would have given her BIG MERIT for her stats.</p>
<p>I realize the pressure from having affluent friends. But, she could have had an affordable OOS option if she had applied to OOS schools that would have given her big merit for stats (since it sounds like she has good stats).</p>