<p>Re: inherent limitation of online message board…
So true,BBDad…now I’m actually getting just a little offended at some of the harsh words here(not you) and a couple of posters have really rushed to judgement when they can’t really know the whole situation. I’ve tried to have a thick skin… Guess I took a risk putting our little scenario out here in “public” on CC…but i’s ok.</p>
<br>
<br>
<p>Completely intentional. Kids place a lot of pressure on themselves. They have to deal with the social pressures of school. Parents can put a lot of pressure on kids too and it can create a lot of stress all-around. The big three: bipolar, depression and schizophrenia frequently show up in the mid-teens through the mid-twenties. Added stress can be the trigger or perhaps one of the causes.</p>
<p>I am not saying that this is or isn’t the case here. But I think that parents should consider the stress loads on their kids at this relatively fragile part of their lives. Especially if there is any history of mental illness in the family tree. Even moreso if the mother had the flu while carrying the child.</p>
<p>The other poster basically said that you could load up the stress on kids without limit. I was providing counter-examples to that dangerous assertion.</p>
<p>“The other poster basically said that you could load up the stress on kids without limit.”</p>
<p>I would actually love to know where I said this. If anything I am saying there are kids out there with REAL stress loads and filling out scholarship applications would be a welcome reprieve for them.</p>
<p>Like a teenager I know whose mother has a very aggressive form of cancer which was discovered after his father had to move to another state to secure a job at reduced pay. Now he can’t quit because she needs the health insurance and she is too ill move to be with him and doesn’t want to uproot her kids. She is going through treatments with her husband able to VISIT one extended weekend a month. She has a teenage son who would welcome the ‘stress’ of scholarship applications.</p>
<p>Or even using your own example of teenagers at war. Think they would rather be dodging deadlines vs. enemy fire?</p>
<p>THAT is stress but I guess it’s all relative and a matter of perspective.</p>
<p>IMO, If a child is so overwhelmed at the idea of filling out applications and writing essays then perhaps they are not ready to go away to college. Perhaps not mature enough to handle the upcoming pressure and responsibility and the refusing to comply with the parents is big red flag.</p>
<br>
<br>
<p>“The notion that you may get it if you push a kid too hard is
ridiculous. I could push my kid off a cliff and not get that
attitude.”</p>
<br>
<br>
<p>If someone is already stressed, adding to their workload usually
isn’t considered a relief.</p>
<br>
<br>
<p>I think that you don’t understand that the applications and essays
could be on top of existing stress loads.</p>
<p>The daughter is capable of performing well in high-school, to the
point of getting substantial merit aid while holding down a part-time
job. That sounds pretty responsible to me. The daughter also did fill
out some of the applications for scholarships.</p>
<p>Parents can get pretty frustrated with their kids. They can also get
frustrated over car repairs, ice and snow on their roof and the
hassles of daily life. This isn’t a bad place to blow off a little
steam and get a little support with our problems. Oftentimes, problems
fix themselves with a little time and reflection.</p>
<p>How about a little context there. That quote was in response to your assertion that the attitude the OPs daughter exhibited could be a likely response of kids or adults if pushed too hard. Your quote, “The attitude might be distasteful but you can get that if you push kids or adults far enough.”</p>
<p>I said I doubt MOST kids would act that way. Perhaps I know the wrong kids…</p>
<p>or the right kids, depending on your point of view.</p>
<p>We have a freshman in college. I understand the process. Thank you.</p>
<p>If a student has time and energy to do a a lot scholarships that’s great. But here’s another spin…</p>
<p>Many scholarships are need based, and that actually does seem fair. So for families with higher incomes, the best path may be to apply to just a few targeted merit-based scholarships. Then there will be time to concentrate on AP / IB classes where good May exam scores mean credit. (Yes, I know that many of the top schools don’t award AP/IB credit. But if some of the schools on the list do, then it’s an excellent use of time. Perhaps even a money-saver eventually).</p>
<p>Great point co-mom, on the AP exams and potential credit. Are they always in May? Gotta check on that with my d’s high school I guess.</p>
<p>Because the exams are standard, they are given on the same date at the same time at every school (give or take for time zones).</p>
<p>This is the schedule for 2011 which runs from 5/2 - 5/13</p>
<p>[2011</a> AP Exam Calendars - AP Exam Dates](<a href=“College Board - SAT, AP, College Search and Admission Tools”>AP Calendar - AP Students - College Board)</p>
<p>kbiresearch - I think kids at our high school sign up for AP exams in January or February.</p>
<p>*Wow, mom2college you are harsh!.. “I think the mistake was letting d apply to pricey OOS publics…merit aid (like Penn State - totally unaffordable). If she wanted to go OOS, then she should have applied to schools that would have given her BIG MERIT for her stats.”</p>
<p>*</p>
<p>Wow…and you’re more offended by my words than the ungrateful words of your D. </p>
<p>You seem to think that running up big loans which would require large monthly payments “do-able” for your D. Penn State is not worth that…no way.</p>
<p>Getting credit for AP classes allowed D to have more flexibility in scheduling because it allowed her to be exempt from some requirements. It allowed her to fit a minor into her schedule. Many of her friends use their AP credits to reduce their work/ credit load each term. But AP credits will only save one money if in fact a student graduates in less than 4 years. If not, I wouldn’t consider AP credits cost saving.</p>
<p>I note that OP says her D has now filled out some of the scholarship forms. This story reminds me a bit of the New Testament parable about the two sons who are asked by their father to go work in the vineyard. One agrees readily to go, but instead goes and shoots pool (or something) with his friends. The other one refuses, complains, whines, etc., but then goes and works in the vineyard. Jesus asks, which is the good son?</p>
<p>I think one thing to remember is that a particular episode doesn’t necessarily reflect a person’s general attitude or behavior, especially if the situation is particularly fraught.</p>
<p>OP - been there, done that. Some perspective, for what it is worth.</p>
<p>I appreciate that any scholarship is of value, but the big ones are long since closed (Coke, Prudential, etc.) so your D is arguing over the smaller local ones. I agree that she is foolish to be so dismissive - who would reject a couple of $500 awards? - but since you set a reasonable budget, the consequences are hers, not yours. While I’m sure your daughter is talented, the battle is probably over an additional $1,000 to $2,000 in scholarships vs. student loans in the actual case. I’m sure that she’ll regret her stance in the future, but you have to decide whether you really want to fight this battle.</p>
<p>Also, check the colleges’ FA policies. In some cases, the outside scholarships directly off-set need based grants. I don’t want to start a “that money should go to those that need it” thread, but you need to make that decision for yourselves.</p>
<p>Good luck.</p>
<p>Since we’re on the subject, can someone please direct me to a thread on where to look for these “small, local” scholarships? S1 has very good scores but we don’t want to be presumptuous. And then there iss up-and-coming D1 who is bright but would rather socialize than get straight A’s; wouldn’t hurt to get her practicing early ;-)</p>
<p>Minnphd - Our high school posts the local scholarships on the Naviance website. All the links to the organizations are there - I have found.</p>
<p>Thx will check it out.</p>
<p>minnphd…if your school doesn’t have Naviance, just call the guidance office. In our are the scholarships are a combination of those that are pure need and those are are true merit. Sometimes they ‘split’ them between two kids. My oldest got a particular one all by himself, the 2nd got the same scholarship but split it with another person (they each got half). Although the amounts are generally under $2500 with most being in the 500-$1000 range and for one year, these will pay for books at the very least and sometimes more and are very welcome to just about everyone…definitely not “a waste of time.”</p>
<p>Check the website of your local public high schools - not just your own school’s. Many scholarship applications are due at the end of March or early April. D spent Spring break cranking through applications. </p>
<p>It was a lot of work but, as pointed out above, at the minimum wage, it would have taken a long time for her to earn the scholarship money that she did win. The ‘bribe’ to her was that by winning these scholarships, she can do unpaid internships over the summer instead of getting paid employment, and avoid a campus job that she isn’t keen on (although she works anyway because she has a job she likes.)</p>