Rule of thumb…loans should not be in excess of what one hopes to earn at their first job. $39,000 in income isn’t enough.
And it’s not the dad’s fault the kid didn’t apply elsewhere…except that is sounds like communications about post high school really began at the 11th hour with the dad.
“Mike and my mom said if you could do the first year then they could do the second.”
How considerate to let the OP go first.
More text after I told her its too much money and I don’t want her to have that much debt…
I do understand. Trust me I’ve heard it many times from mike and my mom and they’re willing to help me any way they can. I’m not going to Edison or something and do something the rest of my life I don’t want to do. I know my life isn’t over if I don’t go to the school but it will suck. Plus I’m out of other options…like I said its May. There’s nothing more I can do.
It astounds me that her mother is on board with this.
Dear Natasha (or whatever the actual name is),
Of course I don’t want you working at a fast food counter if you’ve got the talent to succeed as a graphic designer or commercial artist. But I also don’t want you living like a student for the next 20 years even while you’re working in your field, because of crippling debt payments. I have complete faith in you and your talents, but I also know that kids change a lot during college. If you got a BFA in art, you’d have the educational background you’d need if someday you wanted to teach art in an elementary school, or to work in a nursing home or with other vulnerable populations as an art therapist, or even to work in a management role for an apparel company or home furnishings company where visual design and graphics are important.
With a Bachelor’s degree under your belt, you’ll be able to go wherever your talent takes you. With a two year, very expensive degree, you have much more limited options.
So let’s talk about your path, and why I believe that finding a program where you can learn to excel as an artist AND complete your college degree is so important and then we can figure out how much debt makes sense for that path.
You will be living with your mom for many, many years while trying to pay off this debt (or with five roommates in a two bedroom apartment) so let’s take the long view here before we pull the trigger.
Love Dad
@Maintainin, It’s very thoughtful of your ex and Mike to allow YOU to take on the first year’s debt. However, this is business and, because emotions have no place in business, the extent of your faith in your daughter have no place in it, nor do discussions about whether or not you believe she’s fit for only McD’s, a factory, or community college. (FWIW, I’ve been involved with all 3 and CBS -TV didn’t hold it against me when they offered me a very nice mid 5-figure job two years out of college). Do not let her change the topic of discussion, which is where to find an affordable school that has the major she wants. When isn’t a problem. If she didn’t apply to a safety, the when is fall 2016 (thru her doing, not yours).
I would text her back (so she has it in writing) that while you do believe in her, you don’t believe that either for profit, nonaccredited schools, or massive debt are in her best interest and that you won’t help her take debt for that school. Reassure her that you are doing research and will do your best to help her find other affordable 4-year options. (If you can get her SAT/ACT and GPA, the parents here can help).
It’s tough, but you’re doing the right thing.
Can you encourage your daughter to come over to CC and have her peruse threads/post a thread of her own? I know I for one could give her a graphic design & advertising agency reality check–I live in LA and work for a major media conglomerate & have never heard of this school (nor has my graphic designer). I’m confident some school in Ohio won’t be placing her with the agencies she’s thinking of… (and she may not even like agencies–agency life is kind of awful TBH) She’d be better off going to a 4 year state school and majoring in art or graphic design there. I talked to my graphic designer and he said all the graphic designers he knows have 4 year/BA degrees… he attended an art institute in SF, but our previous graphic designer got a BA from a Cal State school. Even with a job, she won’t be able to pay down that debt for 20, 30 years… at which point, her associates degree will be out of date 
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. You’re doing the right thing, and your daughter’s manipulative texts are a real downer. She needs to either take a gap year and apply anew to more pragmatic school choices next year, or find schools with rolling/late admission and apply there. Or start off at CC in the Fall and transfer somewhere else later. Going to this school/taking on 80K debt is the worst possible thing she could do for her future.
I love how the wife feels he should co-sign for the first year and she will co-sign for the second. What happens if she doesn’t have the credit to be a co-signer? What if she refuses in a year? In this crazy experiment, they should take out two loans for each year. That will if the kid bails after year one, both are equally holding the bag for 1 semester.
No way would I buy into this. Some one has to be an adult and say NO.
A couple of things you could tell her:
Show her that for most good graphic design jobs – salary jobs with benefits – require Bachelor’s degrees. ( http://www.bls.gov/ooh/Arts-and-Design/Graphic-designers.htm; http://careerplanning.about.com/od/exploringoccupations/p/graphic-designer.htm)
You can do a similar program for less. Then show her the options in SD and her home state.
Explain your reluctance to pay for a FOR-PROFIT school. Explain the difference between state schools. Show her the completion rate at the for profit. Explain that nationwide for-profits have lost 50% of their students in the past few years because they overcharge and over-promise job placement rates. (Go on line to see what past students say about this school.)
Request proof that the school has a 100% job placement rate. Ask for names of companies it “works with” and follow up by calling HR departments to see they in fact recruit from this school, how many students, etc.
Help her do the math. Show her how much she’ll be paying every month from her take-home salary from that theoretical $39K/year first job.
Finally, you can tell her the truth: you believe she is falling for a scam and want to save her from DECADES of debt for a 2-year degree few employers in an already tough and competitive field will respect.
As others have said, you can do this in an email set to your daughter, ex-wife and her current husband. At the very least, you will show that you’re informed, logical and offering your daughter legitimate options.
Yeah, I told her I doubt a 4 year art degree from Edison would be considered less than this expensive 2 year college. She doesnt want to hear it. I also told as someone mentioned earlier the maximum she should be borrowing is 27k(the maximum federal loan amount).
This really bums me out. she’s said some other things. Yeah, im the ahole. Maybe I wont be seeing her at the end of the month. 
Maybe your D could take a look at this link regarding the very recent failure of the Corinthian Colleges, a for-profit school, that left thousands of students stranded with no degree, no transferrable credits, and huge debt: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/05/04/corinthian-colleges-bankruptcy_n_7205344.html. The program your D is looking at is not well regarded at all. Our SIL has a degree in art and a Master’s in Graphic Design. He has done quite well but has had to scramble for jobs at times. His comment about these for-profit 2-year art programs is “scam”. Advertising is a highly competitive field and employers can pick and choose whoever they want. Why would they take a graduate of a 2-year program that accepts anyone over someone from a 4-year, highly selective, competitive university?
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Good suggestions, but please put in writing. That will will be far more effective than trying to “discuss” with a child who doesn’t want to listen.
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Absolutely, and I would add…after discussing what is in writing (spell it all out), send it to her by email (save a copy) so that later no one can claim…“you didn’t say _____”.
Start poking holes in her arguments:
“I have the talent to go to this very good school”/So it’s expensive because it’s a good school and what they do and it’s nationally recognized."
Show her that the school isn’t listed on any national rankings.
“it’s gonna be expensive anywhere I go”
Not this expensive - show her tuition even at the state u.
“it’s already May so it’s not like I have other colleges waiting”
Show her how many schools in her area have rolling admissions - programs she can enroll in almost anytime.
“Research a little about the school then maybe you’ll be more comfortable”
Tell her your research is precisely what’s making you UNcomfortable 
More text
Yea because going to Edison for art is gonna get me a good job in the real world. It’s the quality of the education. Edison doesn’t have 100% job placement or the technology for what I want to do. The only thing Edison could be good for is for like gen. Ed. Classes or nursing
SAA is ranked a top school here.
Lol about how she said it’s expensive because it’s a good school.
No, it’s expensive because it is a for-profit scammy school.
Ask her for her GPA and ACT scores.
Ohhhh. Just like finaid numbers: average 39k means zip. Some wunderkind hits 80k designing web stuff in CA, another goes to NYC and does something entirely different for his 60k, while the bulk of them are at 18-24, if lucky. If even those jobs are really art related. You can answer phones and legitimately you’re employed in the art industry.
Whatever letter you use, please start with “I love you.”
Use sandwich technique: good, bad, good.
" “Hey ahole, you just crushed our daughters dreams so now you need to figure out whats she’s going to do…” Ummm, no. I don’t. The people she interacts with ands talks to everyday have failed her. They are the ones that shouldn’t let it get to this point. And now dad, who she hardly ever talks to and hardly ever sees has to figure all this out? "
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You posted this. What do you feel your responsibilities are toward her? Dynamics after a divorce are hard, and I’ve seen the worst of the worst (you aren’t even in the ballpark since you do pay CS and do have contact), but it does seem that if you don’t help her in any way that she’ll just walk away from any relationship you have. The help doesn’t have to be monetary. SHE thinks it does, but you need to take the lead. She worked it all out that she’d move into a cool apartment with a friend, spend all day drawing and painting, surrounded by creative people, get a fabulous job. Really cool, until you ruined it. Some of us who aren’t divorced have also had to ruin our kids lives by telling them no. It happens in my house all the time, but I don’t just say no, I try to find a solution. It does sound like your DD and her mother had no back up plan. As she says, it’s May, what do you want her to do? Help her find something else to do. You say you can’t help her because you are not there. Really? Are you not on a computer? Do you think all kids go to college near their homes? No, of course not. We (and they) research colleges 1000 or 2000 miles away. You need to get past your excuses too.
She’s not going to like the options you come up with. She’s going to reject them all as stupid. She’s going to cry. She is going to hate you (hey, welcome to the world of raising teenagers). Around the 4th of July, she’s going to realize she has to do something. Community college might look good. A gap year and applying for next year might sound better than it does right now. She might pull out the list of options you sent and think CC doesn’t seem so bad, that applying to schools with art programs in cheap old SD or MN or Utah (many of the colleges in the west are pretty cheap) look pretty good. Maybe she’ll be so mad at you that she will get a job and earn a lot of money and make you match it for the art school. What are you willing to do, pay for community college, contribute $5000/yr to college, co-sign for a 4 year program? Let her know.
Legally, you can leave it all up to those she has contact with every day (although you don’t think they’ve done their job). Morally? That’s up to you. What do you think your responsibilities are? You can be the hero here.
I would also suggest that since now you have heard the facts and have reached a decision, be very clear that this is your final decision and that the discussion is over so that she does not continue to think that you might change your mind. Great idea to make sure it is all in writing, but be sure to tell her point blank that you will not co-sign for loans for this program and then offer to sit down with her to go over other options. Unfortunately for you, there is no way you can escape this in a good light- your ex has very conveniently made you the fall guy!
From the “school’s” web site:
Translation: About 1/2 of you won’t make it through our two year program in 3 years. And those of you who do will take up to three years to find a job.
BTW, I live a couple of miles from this school and never knew it was there…
I do have to say something, since we’re pretty negative on this opportunity. We sometimes do fuss about all the rush toward 4-year colleges, when many kids aren’t prepared. Some do think a two-year vocational prep is a good solution. Maybe, for those who can afford it, a 2-year graphics program is a good idea. Maybe it does direct them to some professional work. They do cite student awards and some sorts f recognition for the program.
Problem is: This program is just too expensive. And, you’re talking 100% loans. We nearly always tell kids who can’t afford a school to move on to Plan B. She just has no Plan B.
Btw, I see they suggest kids can get 35k in federal loans. ?