My kid was accepted to BS as a day student, the school is about 30% day/70% boarding.
What are community and social experiences like for a day student at that type of school. Do they socially integrate without the dorm time? I’ve heard some days students feel like 2nd class citizens.
Anyone who can share their experiences would be appreciated.
My kid goes to a day/boarding school but will transition to the Upper school this fall with many boarders. From what I can see, life is pretty much the same and there’s no reason to feel like a second class citizen. At my child’s school, anyone can stay at any time for dinner with friends, etc and because there are so many faculty kids too that live on campus it’s not unusual to visit with classmates on weekends. I know in our case, we live close enough to school where my kid can go at any time – or stay until any time so can enjoy friends and activities, regardless and feeling just as equal to anyone else.
This may vary by school, but IME day students are generally well-integrated into the community, and the only difference is where they put their heads at night. Day students are often on-campus through dinner and study period, and on the weekends. Day students also provide boarders an oppy to get off-campus and have a home-cooked meal once in a while, as well as the oppy for a place to stay on the shorter breaks and store stuff over the summer.
Yes, this…
What @skieurope said!
It can vary a bit by school. As a day parent, you can help your kid by making sure they can get to school on weekends, get picked up later at night, etc.
I recall being a parent volunteer at revisit days (back when those were in person), and there would always be 1 or 2 parents who would ask “what time do I pick up my kid?” , expecting an answer of 3:00!
If that’s the plan (not saying it is), no, it won’t be the same experience.
I’ll add that it’s not unusual for some day students to request boarding status after a year or so because they are living the boarding life with the inconvenience of a commute.
Echoing it totally depends on the school! But with 30% day students, I have to believe your school has figured out what to do with them, and how to integrate them well.
At my sons’ schools, day students were assigned to a room, so they had a dorm they did things with. At one school, they got a desk in the room, and that was where they studied; at the other school, no desk, but they had a bed for the nights they stayed over. A third school we ruled out because day students were not assigned a dorm, and had no place in the school except a day student locker. So – it varies!
And at DS school, the day students didn’t have “personal” space beyond a locker, but they had an entire building, with lounges, ping pong tables, etc - which was where everyone (including boarders) hung out during the day.
Then there’s Concord Academy, that prior to this year was locking boarding students out of the dorms during the day…
My two kids are (by choice) day students at different boarding schools. Really it depends on the school and your kid. One of my kids is extremely introverted and is more than happy with his few close friends at school and does not partake in any of the evening or weekend activities. This is his personal choice as he would be welcome at everything the school has to offer. He is still very close to his middle school friends - none of whom are at the same BS - so he prefers to spend his weekends hanging with those kids. I will say that his school does not do as much as it can to integrate the day and boarding kids. Day students are not allowed in the dorms and that is where most of the boarders go to hang out, so they end up in the library during free periods. The school just opened a new student center. That may help things as all kids can go there to hang out during the day.
My other kid, on the other hand, is a little less introverted and has made a ton of good friends - many of whom are boarders, and spends some evenings and weekend days at school doing various activities. In non-covid times, the day students have a “lounge” in the dorms. Therefore, they are truly integrated with all students and can come and go from their lounge or a friends room at any time. She can stay the night and sleep either in the lounge or the room of a friend. Most people cannot tell the difference between a day student and a boarder.
We have offered both the opportunity to become boarders and they both continue to say no. I think there is something to be said for being able to separate school and home, and that really appeals to both of them.
Both kids purposely did not apply to another area BS because it is known to treat day students as 2nd class citizens.
Long story short, it really will depend on the school, how well it integrates its day students and your kid’s personality.
I’m a current day student at Lawrenceville, which has a 70/30 boarding-day ratio.
Due to the house system, day students are pretty well integrated into campus life; just like the boarders, we hang out in the common rooms, go to feeds, participate in Olympics, etc. I personally am actually friends with mainly boarders, and I remember struggling to come up with the names of four day students when doing my housing card at the end of last year. While you’ll get some small fraction of boarders saying “lol imagine being a day student,” that’s pretty much the full extent of what’ll happen to you. Other than that, we’re basically identical to the boarders—pre COVID, I would spend 12+ hours on campus on weekdays, and stay until 11 PM each Saturday (you can even sleep over if you’d like). Some day students even stay through study hall on weekdays (ending at 10pm), because it helps them work, so there’s no real limit to what you can or can’t do.
They have always done this. When we visited they told us it’s to prevent the day and boarders from being too separate. They are 50/50 day and boarding. Seems strange to me, but…
^ @Happytimes2001 , I have heard of this and wondered if it might have to do with supervision. (As in, not able to provide it during the day to an acceptable level.)
Interesting. I don’t know. We realized quickly it wasn’t the place for our kids for other reasons. We know people who have attended and liked it.
Wait…have they changed policy on this?
Our boarding school is 70/30 split and the day students run the gamut, from the ones who basically live on campus, are involved in all sorts of activities from sports to clubs and do not leave till late in the evening to kids who mostly come for classes, have serious extracurriculars and/or social life outside of school. At least for the first two years, it very much depends on how far away you live and how willing are your parents to pick you up on your schedule vs theirs (and potentially other siblings/family members). By junior year most of our day students drive so have much more freedom to come and go, and are more likely to still be on campus late from my observation. My child is a boarder with quite a few day student friends, mostly from his sports teams and the club he is heavily involved in.
This tracks with my take at PA on the main.
I think it depends on the school and the circumstances. My kids’ experience was that being a day student was isolating at times, even with me picking them up at the last permitted minute and staying over every Saturday night. Circumstance though involved Covid and, IMO, an unlucky class.